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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

dispute with CM

45 replies

Cheeks4970 · 15/12/2010 11:51

Hi everyone, hoping someone can give me some advice.

I have recently had a dispute with my CM and she has now terminated our contract. I don't want to go into too much detail as she may read this website but basically, she believes that I broke one of her policy rules and I disagree with her and we had an argument about it.

She has given me notice in writing but has not told me the final date and was due to collect my child this week as usual but has not done this - does she legally have to provide the usual service and work out the notice?

Sorry, this is a very stressful and difficult time for all involved and I have really simplified it in this post but hope to get some information on what the correct procedure is.

Many thanks
C

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Original poster

Cheeks4970 · 15/12/2010 19:45

It states in her policy book that 'For most of our children, we collect and drop home after their day with us.....and goes on to talk about how you can't expect her to talk to you at pick-up or drop off etc'. I have signed a NCMA contract so there's no direct reference to this, just the times of the care I need, so I'm not sure that this would be considered as part of my contract. I guess it's a verbal arrangement and she has done it every day (unless her car has broken down etc) that I have been with her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeks4970 · 15/12/2010 19:47

Surely she should have told me that if I want her to care for my child then I would have to bring her to them during the notice period?

OP posts:

StarExpat · 15/12/2010 21:22

Appallingly unprofessional of her.
She gives cms a bad name.

What a cow

minderjinx · 16/12/2010 07:05

Oh Starexpat, that is a bit harsh! Remember we only have one side of this story. If we had heard the other we might all be urging the CM to give notice!

...and for all we know the CM may have been hit by a bus! Cheeks doesn't know why her CM hasn't picked up her child and it seems she hasn't asked.

minderjinx · 16/12/2010 07:09

Sorry, posted a bit prematurely!

I was going to say, I think it is only reasonable to ask what is going on and make sure it isn't a misunderstanding or something unrelated to the giving of notice - you don't have to get into a slanging match, and if the CM is nasty or unreasonable you could just end the conversation and deal in writing.

StarExpat · 16/12/2010 08:08

You're right mind :) we don't know the other side of the story. I was only reacting to OP's account of what has happened. If it is, indeed as the OP says, then I stand by my last post. But I do appreciate that it may not be so as we haven't heard the CM's account.

Having been in a situation (not with cm) where what I know to be true differed enormously from one other person, I should know better that this does happen.

looneytune · 16/12/2010 09:19

All my comments are also based on what I've heard on this side of the story. Assuming it's all as we've been told, I'd say that the fact it's in her handbook would be to your advantage as you can't list everything in a contract :)

If it was me, I'd call and say that you were surprised she hadn't collected and that you presume it will be ok for you to drop your child off at X (time) and pick up at Y. I'd then write a letter after that chat if she was making it clear childcare wasn't available.

Original poster

Cheeks4970 · 16/12/2010 09:24

I totally understand that you have only heard my side of the story and, as I am sure with everyone who uses childcare (providers and parents alike), there's always things on both sides that causes stress/irritation - my situation has come to a head because she texted (!) me 3 weeks after she said she could not work because my child had made her ill - I honestly had no idea it was my child who had made her ill - why didn't she call me that day and discuss it with me then.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 16/12/2010 09:45

She doesn't know it was your child who made her ill - it could have been one of the others carrying a bug, it could have been at the supermarket/toddler group - anywhere.

I would just send the letter.

IF anything is up and it's just that she hasn't been able to collect any of the children, somene should have called you - it's too much of a co-incidence for it not to be her having immediately stopped minding your DD.

What did she say in the termination letter?

(Of course we've only heard one side of it, we only hear one side of anything on here, so we post on what has been written - the OP takes - or doesn't - the advice/suggestions that have been offered, that's all. I think it is rude and offensive to come on someones thread and basically accuse them of lying - which is what has happened here. If the CM wants advice/suggestions from her POV she is free to post on a forum and get them.)

ChippingIn · 16/12/2010 09:51

Cheeks - if she felt your child was too ill to be there, she shouldn't have accepted her on the day or she should have called you to come and get her once she realised she was ill. Texting 3 weeks later - ridiculous & unprofessional and clearly not the reason for termination of your contract, there is another reason, she is just trying to peg it on this because she thinks it would stand up.

Just calculate the amount of days you have prepaid (doesn't matter if it's holiday or not) less the days she has had your DD and that's what she owes you.

Then relax, try to enjoy Christmas and deal with it in the New Year.

Original poster

Cheeks4970 · 16/12/2010 09:53

Hi ChippingIn - thanks for your support. I am going to message you to let you know what was in the letter.

I just need to go out but will do so later today (and of course have a child to look after too!)

thanks
x

OP posts:

minderjinx · 16/12/2010 15:49

Cheeks - I'm not for one moment suggesting you are lying, just that there may be more to this than we know about and that it seems harsh to call someone else a cow when they can't defend themselves (and yes I do know that wasn't you but Star getting indignant on your behalf!). Only trying to offer an alternative view.

StarExpat · 17/12/2010 08:54

I already apologised, minerjinx let it go.
Lesson learned. I will no longer call anyone any names on anyone's behalf without hearing both sides of the story (which is not usually possible).

StarExpat · 17/12/2010 08:55

sorry no usually possible on MN

looneytune · 17/12/2010 09:00

Star, we all still love you :) And you're right, we can only hear one side of the story so have to base what we're saying on that. Other no one would ever come on and ask for advice would they!

StarExpat · 17/12/2010 11:47

Actually calling someone a "cow" is such a british thing, I've heard it on TV and and wanted to just try it myself once. This seemed like an appropriate time... according to what the OP had said, that is.

StarExpat · 17/12/2010 11:48

Just honestly curious - is it a really bad insult?

When I first moved here and heard "bloody" a lot - I thought it was used in place of "very" to emphasise something. I was quickly pulled up on it in my new job (before any kids were around, thank god!).

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/12/2010 12:38

Star my friend calls me a cow all the time - it's very British lol - now if you used the other c word that rhymes with bunt then that would be rude

Obv we only hear one side of the story and we try to give unbiased replies

Cheeks - you are in the right. She is acting very unprofssionally and either refunds your money or looks after your child - she can't do neither

I know many cm get annoyed having ill children brought to them but if your dc was that ill then surely she would have said something there and then not a few weeks later

Hope it gets sorted

minderjinx · 17/12/2010 12:51

Sorry Star - yes I know you apologised and didn't intend to prolong that issue. I was actually responding to Chippingin's suggestion that saying we didn't know the whole story amounted to accusing Cheeks of lying which I certainly didn't.

StarExpat · 17/12/2010 18:44

That's ok minder :)

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