how much do you tell parents about naughty behaviour, discipline in your setting

[thebody]

just wanted to know.. I never bother to tell parents if child has been the usual 'run of the mill' naughty.
.iucwim not biting etc.. but the general little incidents of not sharing, snatching or not doing as told.

the reason I ask is that at soft play yesterday one of my mindees refused to come down from the slide and kept laughing when i repeatedly called him down..

I dont do being ignored by mindees

all the others came at once so all got a fruit treat.. he saw treats were in the offing and came down straight away.. needless to say he didnt get his for not doing as told...

lesson learned!!

anyway mum texted me later that evening to ask if he had been naughty as he said he had been.. i said he had been fine.. no worries...

would any of you other lovely cms bother to tell a parent this in the first place? or do you all deal with things like this 'in house'?

Every day sharing, strops, etc I don't bother, unless it comes up in conversation at pick up. Any specific instances, I note in their diary - biting, shoving, hitting, major defiance, etc. I do this so I can make sure the parents agree with what I am doing and we can all be consistent. (Sometimes means the child gets told - if you don't hit anyone at HSMM's today, I'll take you to the shop for chocolate tonight)

I'm not a cm but am a parent and wouldn't want to be told about every little thing TBH but in the situation you describe where asked a direct question i'd want to know.

The dc has said he was naughty it was obviously on his mind enough to mention it and the mum asked.
Do think it was a bit strange you said not at all actually.
He was naughty, it wan't a big deal it was dealt with and over why not tell the mum that when asked outright?
That situation is a bit different than standing there with a list of not sharing incidents over the day at pick up time.

In my nannying days I would have mentioned something where the punishment had involved being excluded from something that a group of others were doing. Faced with that question I definitely would have said something.

'I dont do being ignored by mindees'..lol

Me neither

No I dont, as with HSMM, only if they've hurt another child etc similar

I only tell parents if there seems to be a persistent problem, to see if they are getting the same at home..

I try and keep diaries up beat and positive, even when they are driving me nuts

I would generally only tell a parent about a one off incident if I found it particularly amusing or it was serious. One little boy I discovered recently started very sneakily dropping the food he didn't want under the table. The dog generally got to it before I saw it, but food was leaving his plate a little too quickly. I caught him doing it and said "what are you doing?" he quickly brought his hands up and said "nothing Rosie" with a really bright smile and "put on" innocent face, when I checked all his fruit and raisins were under the table. Although I explained he shouldn't do it, I also found it quite amusing. I told mum, as she might be wondering why her own dog is getting fat .

I don't mention normal everyday stuff but if something new starts like biting then I'd let them know. If their behaviour takes a big turn (much better or much worse) then I tell parents. And if they ever ask, i tell them as it is so in your case I would have explained the situation but said it's just normal stuff which is why you didn't mention it.

Oh, I don't DO being ignored either (had to do a time out for this earlier this morning lol)

As a parent I would generally be happy a 'no more than usual' comment. But if I asked specifically, very strange that you said no. Her DC had said he was being naughty, and now that doesn't add up with your reply. I would be a bit annoyed TBH and would wonder why you were so insistent on everything being so 'great' when clearly sometimes it's not.

Otherwise poor parents think that their DC only ever play up for them. Not exactly fair, is it?! (As a parent who used to go a bit mental thinking my DS1 was always an angel at nursery but played up like mad with me - so what was wrong with MY parenting skills? - only to eventually find out that no, he wasn't exactly an angel at nursery. He wasn't overly naughty, but he did play up every now and then.)

yes understand the parents on here but you also have to understand that some parents will then later tell the child off at home for something that happened hours ago... unless its something serious then thats just silly imo..

also i feel that its very important a minded child feels they can trust me to deal with a situation and wont be 'grassed up' to parents every pick up for silly little things..

yes in hindsite i could have told her but this particular parent is a first time mum and very anxious so i felt it was kinder to reassure her and say no worries.

the last comment about me not being fair I find very harsh.. yet again it seems to me that cming is so difficult.. not managing the children, thats a piece of piss but managing the parents!!

oh and loved the dog eating incident.. lovely.. i once found 2 sprouts in a bowl of tulips...

I would've mentioned it in passing at pick-up time if it was out of character, especially as it involved a punishment, but the fact that you didn't tell her isn't a big deal imo. I always tell my parents the good things and the bad things that happen, just so they have a full picture, none of my mindees are any problems with me though so it's very rare that I have anything to report.

I also don't do being ignored, gets my back right up, my DD is awful, mindees are diamonds!

I only mention it if it involves a sit out or some type of exclusion as children normally bring these incidents up later with their parents.

So I might have said, "if X mentions it to you later he didn't get any treats today because he wouldn't listen first time and get off the slide. Not a big deal, but yaknow he might mention it FYI".

I don't do not listening either - when you have 3 under 5 everyone needs to be on top form or your day just ends in tears!

yes agree my minmdees are so much better at listening that dcs were..

yes probably should have mentioned it.. live and learn and thanks for the support girls..