Childcare by work or home?

[FortunateHamster]

Hi,

Not sure if this should be on this board or Going back to work, but hope you can help.

I'm going back to work in March and am just looking at childcare options now. It takes about 45 mins give or take to get to work most days.

Is it generally best to have childcare by work, so that you see them for more of the day and can be near them if necessary, or better to have them in childcare nearer home so that they're not in the car so much (which isn't really 'seeing' them anyway) and can potentially make more friends (as they get older) which they might go to school with?

Part of me thinks it'd be best to have childcare near home, but due to our working hours we usually don't get back until just before 7pm and not many places/childminders are open that late. But childcare/nurseries where I work are expensive and won't it be bad for my son to sleep in the car on the way home and then have us try to get him to sleep again a short while later? I just can't figure it out - help!

With a finish time of that late I would say a nanny is your best bet.

Can't afford a nanny. Actually finish work at 6pm so can pick up locally then, but would have to find someone to do until 7pm at home. I have seen a couple advertise that they do this, but am not sure if it's a good idea, hence my dilemma. Am leaning towards having to get childcare locally to work.

I don't think it really matters that much when they are under 4. Once they start school it's another matter, as childcare near your work will not be practical.

The time you would be collecting your son is potentially an issue, as you have already found out from your research, nurseries and childminders may not open that late. You don't say what time you leave for work... but again that start time may be too early.

Thing is, this problem will exist when your son goes to school. So by using childcare at/near work you are just delaying finding suitable care near home.

So I would suggest contacting Childminders near your home to ask about what hours they operate. Use childcare at/near work initially, whilst you keep trying local childminders until you find one that will work the hours you need. Whilst a childminder now may want all children collected by 6pm... in a year's time that may change.

Do you have a DH/partner? Could you and them look at how you might be able to change your working hours over the next few years? Depending on your job, you may be able to go in earlier, work the same number of hours, thus finish earlier. If DH could go to work later and thus finish later... then DH could do a drop off at a Childminder in the morning and you could do the pickup.

Thanks nannynick.

My son will only be eight months old when I go back, so I'm not too worried about the school runs yet - though I'm all too aware how quickly the time will slip away!

We start work at 9:30 and usually leave the house at about 8:30 to get there in time. So a childminder local to home might have to do 8-7 which is a very long day. Near work, they can do closer to 9-6pm, which is much easier to find.

Nearer school-time I think I will have to change hours or find a job closer to home. I could potentially ask to change my hours now but I've already reduced them by a full day - it seemed much easier to do that than to negotiate arrival/leaving times for some reason (well, actually because I know people have done that before).

I would say home on the basis that if you're not going into work for any reason/travelling offsite/can work from home then it's easier and is also better if you're ill.

When my son was a baby, he was in a nursery about 20 mins' walk away from my house and he used to fall asleep in the pushchair on the way home and that was ok.

You could always ask them to put him into his PJs before you pick him up and put him straight to bed?

Sorry, cross-posting. Yes, my DH both work in the same place. He drives but I don't, which is annoying as it throws another spanner in the works as it will take me a long time to get home on the train with DS when he's out at events (I do need to learn but again, can't really afford that right now).

What I will probably do when he's school age (if I am at the same place), is ask for five days but something like 10-2pm, whereas while he's little I thought it was best to do four full days and get one extra day off with him.

Another thing is that I have the option of working one day at home, so could have a local childminder for one day, and one near work for three days - but it seems better for continuity to have him at the same place?

It can depend if either of those is likely to change in the near future. We went with a nursery near our home ? we've moved twice since then and it's now a real trek, but I'm still in the same office so a close-to-work one would have been better.

It's not miles away from my work though, which was helpful when I had to go in and breastfeed him a couple of times in the early days when he wouldn't take a bottle.

Thanks Lady Biscuit. There are so many parts to it all that I just end up frozen with indecision.

At the moment I am querying childminders in both locations and seeing who has vacancies.

Good point Rhian - I'm currently being indecisive about the whole 'express enough for every day' thing or whether to switch him to formula for the daytime.

You don't have to make a decision now - you can always see how you get on with expressing. I gave bottles of expressed milk (though on the first couple of days he wouldn't even take that from them, hence me having to go in), but by the end I really hated expressing with a passion! It was pure stubbornness that kept me going I think, but I've never been so relieved as when he was old enough to go to cow's milk!

I've done both - DS1 started off at work nursery. I was commuting with him on the train. This actually worked fine for us both (DH works very long hours and is often away for work so he doesn't really do drop offs or pick ups except on special occassions!) for the following reasons

• DS1 was still breastfeeding but wouldn't take a bottle so I could give him a feed at nursery at either end of the day
• Children are quite often ill when they first start nursery as their immune system gets used to a whole host of new bugs. Was good to be nearby to pick him up on these occassions rather than fretting on the train (this stage only lasted a couple of months though!)

-We got a lot more time together chatting on the train, reading books etc

HOWEVER when he got to about two I started to find the commute a nightmare. He was at the screaming stage and much as I tried to keep him amused you could see people rolling their eyes when we got on the train (especially in the mornings) and people really don't understand that your child might be commuting too.

We moved to a nursery up the road from home which means longer days for DS1 and at first he was shattered but soon got used to it and in all honesty it is a lot easier for me. Also as I now have DS2 and am on maternity leave it meant he was settled in to somewhere close to home before the baby arrived and he continues to go to nursery a couple of days a week while I am on maternity leave (I feel a bit guilty about this but it is bliss)

childcare near home always

commuting is bad enough when you do it as an adult,add in a tired/grumpy child and a buggy and it is hell