Please help! What would you do??

[needsomechocolate]

Sorry, a long one but I really need help!

I am a childminder and really not trying to be smug , am running a very succesful business. My books are full, I have a waiting list and 3 people to call back tomorrow regarding enquiries for spaces.

My problem is that like most childminders, I do business with my heart, not my head.

I took on a family in Sept who seemed very nice. I agreed to do very sparse hours for one of her children which left me with lots of hours unable to fill (due to the times).

I didn't mind then as I was doing childminding part time.

Due to the recession, I have had to go full time and tighten up my hours. The mum of the family also needed to change the hours due to her child going to nursery soon.

I have since gone back and forth with her over the last 5-6 weeks with a number of different options.

The mum made a request for certain hours....I granted it, she changed her mind and made a different request....I granted it again. This has now happened a third time.

She refuses to settle on days as she wants lots of flexibility. She keeps haggling about the fees and at one point got quite argumentative on the phone.

To be honest, I am at breaking point. I feel she doesn't appreciate the quality of care I give her children (who are also a bit challenging) and quite frankly I don't need that kind of business when I am turning others away!

I think I should end the contract but have already said about "a change in circumstances" (i.e. the recession) when talking about the hours (therefore, I can't give this as a reason again).

If I give notice of the contract, she will probably agree to the latest hours and fees but it is all too late. The relationship between us is damaged.

There are also lots of other niggles, too many to mention here, but add to the bad feeling.

After the way things have gone over the last few weeks, my gut feeling is also that there will be constant discussions about the contract in the future, taking time away from the many children I look after, & more valuable evening hours (when I hope to relax a little!).

What reason could I give to end the contract??

Thanks for reading!

You are unable to offer the flexibility that she needs and therefore feel it would be better for both yourself, the parents and the children that you give notice that you will unfortunately be unable to provide care from xxxxx date (give whatever notice you have built into your contract). Offer to help find other childcare for her - I've done this before when I was being badly messed around by parents who thought I ran a creche not a professional childcare business!

If the relationship is breaking down now then things may only get worse

Run with your head on this occasion, not your heart

Agree with underpaid do a simple letter stating that from X date you will no longer be able to provide care, you don't need to give a reason or get involved in any discourse especially if you feel that the relationship is already damaged.

Agree with others and agree you are making the right decision!! Good luck :)

she sounds a right pita!!

as you have a waiting list i would give her notice saying you can not commit to the days/hours she needs and fill the place with someone who you will enjoy looking after

As the others have said, you dont have to give a reason why your terminating a contract, work your notice, End Of.
Give them some names of other minders in area let them get on with it..
Good luck

Give notice and STICK TO IT - don't be guilted into keeping this family, you don't need them. My mum was a CM and it used to drive me nuts watching parents take the p.

I agree. Ive been in this sort of situation before and my heart wanted to do the nice thing and stay with and accomodate the family even though i was being messed about, but my head said "twit - its your business, do whats best for you". Going on past exp i would def terminate contract. You sound like a really kind person and this will be difficult for you but you have to do what is best for you. Get it sorted if you can before christmas as you dont want to be feeling bad over the hols. Be strong and Good luck!

Thanks everyone, for your words of support.

I gave the family a letter to terminate the contract, and all went as well as can be expected.

They were surprised, thinking that they had done nothing wrong, and tried to change my mind, but I stood firm.

I know it is the right decision for all involved, and I feel much happier now it is all sorted.

I have to accept that unfortunately not every family will fit in, and that sometimes tough decisions need to be made, but it is always much easier to do after getting advice from fellow childminders on Mumsnet!

So thank you!!!