Teaching a child how to play

[lifeinagoldfishbowl]

I am caring for 2 children - 1 a baby under a year and 1 child aged just turned 3.

DC3 finds it hard to play. DC3 will play well in other settings ie toddlers - will play with toys, choose an activity, join in with group games ie chasing each other, building a fort together. DC3 also joins in with singing and songs/circle time etc.

However at home DC3 doesn't participate or seek to play. Both children have access to a wide range of toys but whilst the baby will play with whats out, DC3 will just sit quietly and look at the toys, this can go on for upto 30 minutes - did this morning whilst sorting baby out :( I have tried sitting with DC3 and trying to play together, I have tried playing by myself hoping that DC3 would come join me. I have tried ignoring and hoping that the child just decided to play by themselves.

So how do you get a child to play?

hi unfortunately I have not experience and can not give proper advice, but if DC3 plays when other children are involved and not when alone, it sounds to me like DC3 needs the presence and stimulation of a company, maybe when the baby is old enough to play with the behavior will change?

Can you give the child a task? ie build me a tower/put all the cars in the garage/set out a tea party for your dolls/draw me a picture?

what do your obs show the child likes doing, what switches them on?

if they like doing something out of the setting then bring a version of it into the setting

so for eg forts - borrow one from toy library/fellow CM, engage them in constructing one from a corrugated box (omg you could really extend this couldn't you?), get library books about knights/palfreys/songs, make a suit of armour with cardboard, practice galloping

any help??

also respect the fact that child might be reserved, continue as you are doing, modelling play, turn taking, sharing etc

boy or girl?
maybe stuggling with having you busy with baby, often annoying for that age to get used to.

ideas:
maybe feels exhausted possibilities of these particular toys. Combine toys that wouldn't normally go together- put blocks or containers in water with bubbles. make a bumpy road for cars out of soft toys.

-Get them to tell you what to draw/how to play.
-listen to story or dancing/action CD.
-give them a book.
-play hide and seek + with baby.
-build a den
-paint
-make a tv out of a box, do puppets
-hide things while he watches and just leave them there and walk away
-say I don't know what to do with this (random toy) and put on your head/up your jumper
-spin wheels round on anything you have
-bring in safe kitchen utensils to play with/pretend to make and eat cake
-jump on cushions
-sand/pasta
-bags
-pretend money
-old phone
-spin round/kick your legs in the air

Just comment that they don't seem to want to play today and you wonder what they might like to do. Then leave it. Perhaps sit with them. Perhaps sit and copy their movements and smile when they notices.

Say 'right, no playing allowed this morning' and put all toys in view up high.
good luck

you can't MAKE a child play - sometimes its good for them to just sit back and observe. It is still a form of learning.

True child play is something that cannot be defined and produced/induced by an adult either.

I wouldn't be too worried - i would just keep inviting the LO to join in/interact, ask them questions about what is going on... ie wow X you are building a tall tower - then turn to DC3 and say - do you think you could build one that high - I think you could..... but don't force them into anythng.

If the LO is playing elsewhere nicely with others then I don't think there is a huge concern tbh. I also think that if its LO's own home then they may be having a little difficulty adjusting to sharing toys/mummy etc. They will come around if that is what is the problem - especially with your reassurances. Also don't forget in the LO's own home - they can just chill and slob out - just like we do and be comfortable doing it - because its home.

Personally, I wouldn't worry too much.