Not heard from new nanny!

[Gangle]

We recently hired a new nanny to look after DSs, 2.8 and 8 months when I go back to work in December. We've been out of the country for the last few months, due back at the end of the month, and so used an agency to help find a good candidate, mainly because we are looking for a French speaker and we didn't have much success with ads on Gumtree etc and being out of the country made it harder to meet people. The agency found someone who seemed great so we spoke on the phone several times, Skyped, had a close friend meet her in London and after much thought decided to offer her the position so that we had someone lined up rather than leave it until we arrive back in the UK as that would give only 2 weeks before I go back to work. It now seems that neither us or the agency have heard from her for the last 10 days. We've emailed and phoned/left messages but no response and her mobile no longer seems to be working. Of course, she could just be on holiday but it just seems strange for her to completely drop off the radar! If we don't hear soon, i.e. by next week, then I'm thinking that I really need to look for someone else asap but what if she then resurfaces? We also paid the agency a HUGE fee for this candidate which had to be paid within 7 days of her accepting the job despite me telling the agency that I was concerned that something like this may happen. They will replace her but still! Am I panicking unnecessarily??

Don't worry about Shineoncrazydiamond's post. You've skyped, talked...etc. Not much more you can get from a few short interviews in person anyway. And I'm sure you'll be sensibly having a settling in period to make sure it's a good fit.

personally i would NEVER take on any job where i hadnt met the parents or the children

you can train the children, but not the parents

tho some friends have accepted jobs and hadnt met the children totally mad imho

whoops, meant to add

but least gangles close friend has met the nanny, and made sure she is who she says she is and hopefully checked crb/written refs etc

I've done it. More than once in fact. Does that make me mad?

Sometimes it's not possible to meet the family. It's actually quite often the case with temp jobs with people coming from abroad/you going to them. For a permanent job it's more difficult to gauge and I wouldn't do it without an agency. The one time it did go wrong (perm job) the agency got me out very neatly.

Parents/children aren't always the way they come across at interview when you're actually in a job so even an in-person meeting isn't foolproof. Someone who takes a long time over the phone to go into detail is better IMO than an hour's meeting.

Anyway, the OP effectively has no choice so she's done the sensible thing - agency, in depth phone interview, meeting with someone trusted, probationary period.

I don't think you can ever really tell what someone is like until they've been in the job a few weeks. You certainly can't glean much for a couple of interviews. Think you just have to go with your instinct and give them a trial period and see how they work out which is what we were going to do. I did um and ahh about whether to offer her the job but felt I had to or she would go elsewhere which is fair enough. In terms of timing, how long do you think we should "hold" the job for her? I was thinking that if I don't hear back by Monday or Tuesday then I am going to have to arrange childcare for December at least, probably with their old nanny before she gets booked up. What if she then resurfaces?

Weird though - do you think she has actually changed her number to avoid me/the agency?? Wouldn't you just tell us straight up that you've found another job? At least we'd all know where we stood.

Get onto the agency and tell them you want a temp if she doesn't turn up until they find you a new candidate or you find alternative childcare. They should be preparing CVs etc now.

Did you interview anyone else who was a strong possibility?

I'm a great believe in Gut Instinct. However for your subconscious mind to get a good picture, I feel you do need to meet in person.

The first few months (rather than weeks) will be when you get to know the person more.

Has she actually formally accepted the job?

Yes, two others I thought good, but we are now back in just over 2 weeks so think I would wait and interview in person now. Really don't want to get a temp, too disruptive for the children.

Her phone could have been stolen. I think you have to wait and see if she turns up tbh. You've given her the job and she isn't obligated to be in touch till her start date.

As an aside I think it is taking a huge risk to employ someone you've never met to do anything - let alone look after your children.

I agree NannyNick - I did worry this might happen. Upsetting but not the end of the world as we can at least now interview in person. Thank god we found out before she started!

What about email NorthernLurker? We've offered her the job, not employed her as yet. There would have been a trial period. Yes it was a risk and I've certainly learnt a lesson from it!

I suppose I was relying on the agency (and the 2k fee I paid) to do the vetting, interviewing etc. They made various checks on candidates before they take them on which I hoped stood for something, at least that this person would honour a commitment.

I'd arrange back up care if you can, but don't replace her just yet!
If you thought she seemed very keen and excited to start the job and the agency think well of her then I'd assume she's on holiday for now.
Imagine if she's gone off for a 2 week break to recharge her batteries and come back all refreshed ready to start her new job only to be told you've replaced her as you couldn't get hold of her for a week !!
It's very common to not take a phone abroad and very common to have a 2 week hol, so give her at least 2 weeks!

frakk, yes completely insane

if i were to start a job,then go away on holiday, i would mention it to the agency that i would be away and uncontactable, just incase they needed me for something

i would get the address off agency then ask your good friend to go round and knock on her door/talk to neighbors

hopefully she is away and didnt think anything of it BUT you need to cover yourself and start interviewing just in case

So.... nanny is due to start on 1st December. You are not due back in the country until the end of this month. Today is 14th November - end of the month is over 2 weeks away. You say that nobody has heard from her for 10 days. If she has gone on holiday for 2 weeks, (and does not have reception/has not switched her phone on due to roaming charges), then she is not due back for 4/5 days yet - which is still well before she is expecting you back in this country and is due to start working for you.

By all means line up some interviews just in case, but hopefully you'll hear from her later this week and all your fears will have been ungrounded - I hope so, fingers crossed for you

OP, I appreciate that you're paying a massive agency fee but as a nanny employer I'd never rely solely on the agency to do the vetting, take up references etc. I'd double-check all this myself: particularly references.

I've been called by agencies checking references for my previous nannies and all they do is check the dates they worked, what basic duties were and whether I found them "trustworthy" (?!). When parents call me themselves they have the chance to ask questions about issues that concern them and I think this is often far more useful for them. (Obviously as an employer you have to be careful about what you say when giving a reference but fortunately I've been happy with my previous nannies so it's never really been an issue). Interestingly none of the agencies have ever checked how many sick days the nanny had, which I always do.

Just something you might like to bear in mind if you do need to hire a replacement - hope your nanny turns up with an innocent explanation though!

MrsTeddy, I did of course check the references myself but thought that the agency has also vetted her, met her in person etc.

Gangle - don't worry about not having met her, I have been employed by people I've never met and I've employed people I have never met and it has always been fine!

As I said before, I think it wont hurt to get the agency to send you some CV's etc but to be honest, I think you are over-reacting. She's been given a start date, until that start date she doesn't have to be in touch with you or the agency - she's free to live her own life and make her own arrangements - you can't give her job to someone else simply because she's not contactable prior to her start date!

Relax, keep the agency up to date and hope she turns up on the day :)

So, by way of an update, the agency sent an email a London based nanny agency association asking them to let it know if the missing nanny had been in touch. Found out this morning that she has been in touch with an agency this week trying to get another position!! The agency I am using has emailed her saying it's very disappointed and can she provide us with an explanation. No response, surprise, surprise. I am horrified I was going to let this woman near my children. Completely friggin unreliable and underhand. Fine if she didn't want the job for whatever reason but why not just tell us that so we all know where we stand rather than changing your number and refusing to reply to emails! So, back to square one - back to work in less than a month and no nanny!

Sorry it turned out this way.

Here's hoping that you find your perfect nanny.

Ahhhhhhh for you

on your behalf that she couldn't have told you or agency - she isn't obviously a professional nanny or she would have given you some warning/replied to emails :(

trust your gut instincts - you felt something was wrong

so what happens now?

Obv you get your fee back , nanny will be blacklisted from that agency and you start again

what are you looking for? Days/hours etc. Think you have a baby and toddler is that right?

That's a total pile of poo. Sorry that's happened Gangle.

Please tell me there are lovely, reliable nannies out there! Just don't understand why she has done this. If only she had told us! It makes life harder for her as well as she will now be blacklisted and I'm not sure her referees will want to provide references again. I actually contacted one of them who I had spoken to previously who had given her an amazing reference (which was really a big factor in hiring her) to ask if she had heard from her (she hadn't) so I felt obliged to email her and let her know what had happened just in case this person asks her for a reference in future.

Blondes, I don't think we do get our fee back!! They just agree to replace her so will start sending through more CVs. I will interview when we're back in London in 2 weeks. We're looking for 4.5 days a week, 8 - 6.30/7, 8 month old and a 2.8 yr old, Complicating factor is that we want French mother tongue (DH is half French and wants them to speak it).