Childminder prob - new to this

[Nubbin]

Think this is a problem - or if not is going to become one. I have not used a childminder before (1st baby) so not sure if I am being unreasonable (think we probably both are)

DD is 10 months old - been with the childminder for 3 months. Contracted hours are 7.30 - 6.30 Mon-Fri (we pay in full for those hours). DH works shifts so we never use the full hours (or a full week). Normal is 3-4 days a week either dropping off at around 11 and picking up at 6 or dropping off at 8 and picking up around 3. Shifts aren't regular so we pay for full 5 days as each week is different.

A couple of times over the last few months DH has been unavoidably caught at work (CM knows his job and that this can happen) so ended up picking up at 4/5 rather than 3 (rang to tell as soon as he knew). CM has complained that she had plans. I know it is annoying but we are paying up to 6.30 so I think that it is reasonable for us to expect that the service is available.

Got more complicated this week - relatives are down so I said we probably wouldn't need CM this week but might as relatives may want to go visiting without DD (will still pay obv.) CM said she wanted to take DD on a couple of days to avoid getting out of routine. I said fine - Mon and Tue 10-3. DD went on Mon and was not well so I said she would stay at home on Tue and then come later in the week so relatives could go visit without dd. I called on Tue night to arrange a session and CM said she was busy now and couldn't have dd for the rest of the week. Not sure if I am being unreasonable to be annoyed that I am paying for Wed-Fri to be told that she is not available.

Sorry for length.................

You're paying for a service that your Childminder isn't providing. If she can't take your child then you should be entitled to a rebate for that time.

As a Childminder myself it can be frustrating not knowing what time a child is arriving / leaving but as long as I have 'reasonable' notice I'm happy. It is my job after all!

Hi Nubbin

Sorry you are experiencing all this as a first time mum using a childminder.

I am a childminder (2 yrs now).

Ler me see this is how I would deal with this situation

If you have those contracted hours then I would make myself available for you duing these hours. If you decide not to come a a partiuclar day I would charge you half fee. I would charge the full fee per day on the days you did come, even if you dropped off at 10 and picked up at 5pm, as these are the hours you agreed.

If you are not going to use the full week and the hours on the contract would you consider changing your days and hours. I have in the past had to do all sorts of hours, sometimes not knowing what hours I may be asked to do, thats very tricky for a childminder as you cannot really plan ahead as you like, epecially when dealing with more than one family and also your own family. It would not be a problem with me IF this was done with lots of notice. Some parents may change the drop off and collection time at the last min. Thats when it can be fustrating.

I can understand she may have other plans but you are paying for these contracted hours and she should be available for you.

This sounds very tricky. I think you need to look at what hours you want and what days as at present you must be paying lots for the time you do not really use.

Your childminder sound as though she is busy. It can get difficualt if you are dealing with hours that are up and down. It may be an idea to talk to the childminder and consider making some changes to give her some stability.

I deal with three families and I have four children of my own also. Things can get very busy. On Monday I will have five children on my books

All the best.

This seems like a bizarre set up to me - why are you paying for so much childcare that you don't use?

I would be tempted to let your CM have her way this time but arrange a time to sit down with her in the next week or two and review the contract. You could explain that as you are paying for all those hours, you would like her to be available for them, or at least that she should give you a set period of notice if she will not be available.

My CM charges a retainer for contracted hours when she does not have DS - for the time in between if she does drop-off and pick-up at preschool, if we are on holiday or if he is ill (although I insist on paying her in full if he is ill or we cancel at short notice - it doesn't seem fair for her not to be able to plan ahead). Could you suggest something similar?

I would say it is really positive that your CM wanted to have DD for some time this week for continuity - she obviously cares about DD's welfare. It would be a terrible shame to change CMs if you can help it, if your DD is attached to her. So it's probably worth trying to sort out your differences, even if it does seem like CM is taking the piss at the moment!

Sorry lots of x-posts saying a similar thing but more coherently!

If you are paying for those hours she needs to provide them. End of. That is the point of a contract isn't it?

Thanks - sounds like we need to have a chat. DD is v attached so would hate to move her.

We pay for lotsmore hours than we use because we realise we are not an easy client. DH's shifts as are on 4 days on 2 off 3 days on 3 off 5/6 days on 4 off cycle so it would be impossible for CM to find another part time person to make up the shortfall if we only paid for the hours we used. We appreciate the flexibility a lot.

Think cup of tea and a chat are needed before this spirals - am rubiish at these sorts of conversations :(

If you're paying she should be available. However her plans may have involved trips for other minds such as going to the park after school or taking them swimming so she wasn't going to be in at the new pick up time or had made plans she couldn't change.

I think you need to discuss why she wasn't available and say that you're happy to be flexible around her changed plans such as going somewhere after the school pick up but you need the childcare you're paying fir to be available and if it's not you expect a refund.

I would charge you for the full amount of time and I would be available for that time. If you suddenly phoned up with an unavoidable change to start/end time expected, then I may be on a school run, or out at a toddler group, but you could still come and find me.

If I was banking on your finishing at 3 one day and (for example) booked myself a hair appointment at 3:30, then I would inform you of this in advance and as I do not charge for my time off, this money would be refunded, or not invoiced in the first place.

Like PinkCanary said, it can be frustrating not knowing when a child is arriving/leaving, but it sounds like your CM normally does know.

Also ... are you contracted to pay for your CMs time off, or just for the days she is available?

Hope that makes sense.

Thanks - CM does normally know all times a month in advance. We are contracted to pay for holidays but not when she is unavailable. I pay obv where I don't want the time but she is available (i.e. she shouldn't lose out financially just because my mum comes to stay and wants to play with dd).

If you know what the shift patterns as month on month, then can you not do this-

Pay for the full 5 day full day service

But at the beginning of the month, give her a calendar where the actual time that will be used is stated in advance?

That way you are paying for the "place" to be held so you have the flexibility, but she also knows month on month what the work pick up drops will be as per your DH work schedule.

Family visits, sickness etc is all by the by, and CMs know to roll with that.

I'm a CM that has one mindee that is picked up earlier some days that others. I didn't ask them to pay for the full day (as they were my first ever mindee) but I wish I had (and all my future contracts will involve paying for the whole day whether they want to pick up early or not), so I don't think it's abnormal to have to pay for a full day even if you're not using it all.

However, mindee is picked up at whatever time the parents feel like it (from what I can gather!) so they say at the start of the week that it'll be early pm pick up on Mon Wed Fri for example, and late pm pick up on the other days, but obviously parents can still be early or late for those pick ups, once I had mindee picked up nearly an hour and half later than they said.

I do sometimes arrange to do things after an 'early' pick up day, but I cancel them if I have to. If I have an appointment I can't cancel (Dr for instance) then I tell them this as far in advance as I can. Your CM is taking the micky, if you pay her until 18:30 then she should be available for that amount of time, and should certainly tell you why she's if she's not going to be available just in case you run over your 'normal' pick up time.

I cannot believe that your childminder is not available for the hours that you are paying for. It sounds as if for quite a significant time you are paying when your child is not there so I really cannot see how she can complain or be difficult. If she is paid until 6 then she should be available until 6. You are IMO paying for the flexibility. You might be better off with a nursery, where you pay for the whole day and pick up when you like. I use an after school club for dd2 once a week. i pay for the three hour session, I pick her up within this time, sometimes early after 30 minutes and sometimes later if something comes up at work etc.

I agree in this case a nursery is better. There will be someone there, every day no matter when you drop off. Way more flexibility for your circumstances. And you won't have do deal with this anymore. She sounds really difficult!

I think the main gripe here is you have payed for weds,thurs and friday but have been told she is busy. I would ask for a refund as she is unavailable for her contracted times.
If she gets shirty with you I would explain that you chose her because she offered the flexibility that you need hence you don't mind paying for hours you don't use.
How much you pay per hour may be relevant, her rate may reflect the fact that you don't use all the hours and instead of charging as and when you use her or messing around with retainers she may have come up with an agreed rate that suits both parties.
The messy hours can be difficult to work around if groups start at 10 am they may be late or the pick up time may have been causing difficulties for her.
Time to sit down and talk about how you can both continue to make it work, she may feel a bit at your beck and call in which case it may work better with a nanny.
It also may be advisable to not give such definitive finish times but if you finish at 3 you could ring to ask if she is at home so you could pick up early, and then if you finish at 4, 5 or 6 you could leave them to do tea or a snack but she would be booked till 6pm.
I always enjoy an unexpected early pick up as its a chance to put my feet up early perhaps she has got a bit used to it and being paid for the pleasure.

As a CM myself I can see why in your contract she would want paying for the days you don't use as she would not be able to fill the space at short notice and therefore be out of pocket. I can also see her point regarding dropping off and collecting at different times. It is annoying when you have arranged things with the children only to have to alter the arangements because a parent wants to change her pick up/drop off time. This is hard to juggle when you have other children to consider and school/nursery runs etc.
HOWEVER if you are paying for 5 days then that space should be held open for you and you are therefore entitled to use those 5 days. She cannot take your payment and then say she cannot have your child.

I would be asking for a refund for the days she said she was busy, if she is ubanable to work then she should not charge.

I would also be having a chat about contracts with her.

I hope you get it sorted out soon.