How much CM time off is reasonable

[whatshallmynamebe]

DD is 11 months and has been going to her CM for 5 months. During this time we have had to cover 3.5 days off due to sickness, 1 due to the loss of a friend and 2 due to a misunderstanding over her holiday dates (there are possibly more days - these are the ones I can remember). We also had to take time off when DD started as, due to an illness in the CM's family, DD didn't get a long enough settling in time, so we had to extend it into my first week back at work.

Now, I fully understand that family take priority and that these things happen. I wouldn't for one second expect her to work and she has my sympathy. Also I accept that CMs especially, will get ill from time to time, and that having to take the odd day off ourselves is the trade off we have to make for having DD in a "home environment" rather than a nursery.

If she is going to be off she always calls first thing in the morning. Most of the time I am able to answer, but sometimes we miss the call. We had an incident a few weeks ago (too long to go into) when she didn't leave a message and we couldn't find out why she had called/what was wrong, and spent the whole day without a clue as to why/how long she was likely to be off.

Today we didn't pick up on the fact that she had called and I turned up at her house, her DS explained the situation, so I brought DD back home again. When DH checked his phone, she had called but she had left no message again. I had specifically pointed out after the first incident that we would appreciate a message or a text just to give us some idea of what is going on.

I know that she has to make a living, and I feel really bad at feeling this way when family and personal illness happens to us all, but we can't go on like this. I think that the not leaving a message issue is also clouding my judgement. Today both DH and I have really important meetings that neither of us should miss, but one of us has to. There are redundancies taking place in both our companies at present and last minute time off, even for childcare, does not make us look good. We are averaging more than 1 unplanned day off per month at the moment and DD only goes part time.

I am inclined to look around for a new CM but DH thinks that I am being too hard on her. We have to cover childcare between DH and I as we have no family or close friends near. What do you think?

got to be quick as mindees napping.. I have to be literally unable to get out of bed to take a sick day.. being self employed (cm)I dont get paid.. great motivator and also hate letting parents down

I have 4 weeks annual leave with bank holidays, all unpaid.. I give months of notice for these..

your cm might have had a run of bad luck of course but communication is the key..

most cms I know very rarely take sick days anyway even when they clearly should..

hard on you.. understand.

I think the poor communication would worry me more than anything else. It is not good enough to simply try and leave a message (or not!) if she is not available. You need to find a way of working with her so that she speaks to you directly if there is a problem with your dd attending.

How many days a week does your dd go to her?

We seemed to go through months and months without dd's childminder needing any time off, but then hit a patch when her children, and then her dh were all ill.

Is she able to give you contact details of any other childminders who might be able to provide emergency cover?

do you pay for her days off? If you do, Id be looking for another!

my cm was prone to doing this sort of thing. It was infuriating and stressful (as i also had to pay her sick days).

With my second child, I opted for a nursery instead and I have never made a better decision.

Always open, all year round, stressfree.

IMO if she is doing this already, she won't improve in time and I would consider moving your daughter now (to another cm or nursery) rather than wait.

As a childminder (and I was a nanny before) I have had a total of 8 days off sick in over 10 years!

I do have two small children, I think in the last 6 years I have missed work 3-4 days as one of them has been ill.

More often than not I can normally organise cover with another childminder who the child knows well.

Thanks for your responses. DD goes 4 days per week.

To be honest even if we wanted it, nursery is not an option for us as firstly there aren't any in our immediate vicinity (we have no car) and, secondly the ones further away are more than we can afford.

Payment for the days off is another issue and I have just been burying my head in the sand about it. I will have to dig out the contract and look at it. In my mind I have always been prepared to pay for 5 days unexpected leave per year, but we have well exceeded that already.

DH has managed to get the afternoon off so I can go to my meeting, but he said his bosses are not happy.

if you are paying her then I would definately move your dd. It will only cause resentment for you.

I would not just not pay her for the days she has had off next time payment is due and put the ball in her court. See what she says.

the final straw for me was her taking a "sick" day to take her mum to hospital as she didn't want to use a day of her 4 weeks annual leave (also on full pay). I said that couldn't really be called a sick day for her and she insisted it was, so we had words. And I hate arguing with anyone!

Nursery with none of this nonsense is a blessed relief!!

find a new cm for your own sanity.

If my childminder was not available, then we did not pay her.

I think she's being quite unreasonable here. Obviously these things happen but she's not communicating and by the sounds of it she's not got any backup in place.

For the days you need to go into work and CM lets you down do you have the number of a good nanny agency that can send a temp? Or even someone who could come in for a few hours to look after your DD? It would be more expensive than the CM but as she's SE you won't be paying her for these unscheduled days off anyway.

BTW if she does have in the contract that you pay her for her sick days and family illnesses then change ASAP. Paid holiday I can just about swallow but for the rest of the time if she isn't open she shouldn't get paid.

I would make it clear that you need her to ring your home phone as early as possible in the morning so you can make alternative plans.
I've only had 1 day off ill in 3 years and if my own children are ill my dh takes a day off to care for them, I also have a back up childminder for emergencys. Could she possibly arrange a back up plan for you.
You should not be paying if she is not available.

Agree with most of the other posters here.

OK, she can't help it if she has a bad run with sickness and problems, BUT she should be much more communicative with you, and you definitely shouldn't be paying her.

I have been a childminder for 7 years and never had a day off sick, only closing once when my DD had suspected German Measles. I am usually sick during my own holidays or collapse at weekends . I would be incredibly apologetic if I was having quite a lot of days off.

Also, I don't get paid for my holidays or my sickness, as I feel that the parent may have to pay for alternative childcare.

If you really like her sit down and discuss the problems you are having and see what she says. She may not know the problems it is causing you.

My dd has been with her cm for 4 years now and cm has taken probably 3 days off sick in that time. On all occasions it was d&v caught from the kids!!

She takes a 3 week max holiday and always during term time (she's older and her kids are all grown up) and always with plenty of notice. She also generally helps us arrange cover with other cm's.

She recently had 2 x 3 days off, but that was due to her terminally ill son dying of cancer, and then for the funeral. All very .

I don't pay her for her holidays or sickness.

My DD was with 2 different childminders for 3 years in total and I never once missed a day at work due to her illness.
The one time she had time off to go (to her mum's funeral so obviously very genuine) she organised another CM DD knew to have her.
I think yours is taking the mick or at least she needs to get more organised about notice and cover or the bottom line is she will have no mindees

I have been a childminder for over 2 yrs off and have only had 1 day off, i have had a couple of hours here and there for a dental problem which is on going but always try to get if for the day when both the kids I look after mums are both on maternity leave. I have now found a dentist who works evening which is fantastic!