Is this wrong or is it just me?

[LuisB]

Hello. If anyone has come across this situation, I would be very pleased to read your comments.

Girl - now aged 19.

When under 16 and still at school, had sex with a boy over 18. Got pregnant very quickly, kept the baby. Still in a relationship with the boy.

Girl now employed by an established local nursery in the Greater London Area. Studying for an NVQ in childcare!

Do you think that it is absurd / odd/ normal that the nursery has chosen to employ someone with this sexual history and background? The boy (adult) has in the eyes of the law, fallen foul of the Sexual Offences Act 2003. The girl is still in a relationship with him but works with children.

Love to hear your thoughts.

Even if he did sleep with another under-16 year old, hwo would that affect her job? I'm not getting it

His behavior bears no relevance to her job.

You need to get that idea out of your head.

If you don't like her, pull your child out, and stop gunning to have her sacked, you weirdo.

It is just you

If you're not the girl referred to in the OP (which would still be a weird post even if you are) then I put it to you that you are a freak or a troll or just tragically lacking in things to think about.

Just you. If they're still together then it was just badly timed love.
Think it's great that through her big 'mistake' she found her career.

There is something about this situation that is morally ambiguous to me. Not to any of you who have posted, it would appear. But thanks for all your opinions.

What's this 'girl' 'boy' thing? Surely they are both adults and parents?

I agree with you OP

I think any girl who has sex under the age 16 should be publicly flogged and sent to live in a home for fallen women!

Its you!!

I'd be midly concerned if HE got a job at the nursery having had sex with a minor.
But if you are asking me to comment on this loose woman, i mean nursery nurse the only thing i'd care about is what is she like at her job ?

[hbiscuit]

There is nothing morally ambiguous about someone having sex at 15, then having a job in a nursery. As she'#s already raised a baby of her own, I would expect her to be rather better than the average 19 year old nursery nurse.

What is morally reprehensible is the way you want her sacked for being a teenaged mother.

It definitely isn't me. So I guess it's you!

Good for the girl to get on with her life and get a job. And good for both of them to still be together. They must really love each other - it could not have been easy for them to begin with.

What bothers you about it OP? What harm do you think children in her care could come to?

1. It's her life
2. She's in a stable relationship
3. There are plenty of MNers with bigger age gaps
4. She's the one in the job, not him. In a nursery he won't come into contact with children as her partner!
5. I think it would be discrimination against teenaged mothers if she were disqualified from doing it

Now if it were as a CM, where the partner was around, or as a nanny then I might understand your POV but it's a nursery! What are you worried about? She's going to pass on her promiscuous habits to the children she looks after?!

perhaps you could spell out the moral ambiguity to us

I'm not seeing it, truly I'm not

I think the OP has an enemy and is looking for ways to screw her up.

OP I do hope you havent mentioned this concern to anyone in RL. Because whatever their polite reaction to your face they will think you are really odd.

Colditz - Is it really not statutory rape if the girl is over 13? I thought a girl couldn't consent until 16?

*Sorry for the hijack

OP - You are crackers!

So if this girl was very young when she had sex with this man
and if this man was very much older than her
and if this girl was therefore a victim of abuse

YOU
want her barred from working with children becaus she is a VICTIM not an abuser?

That is awful.

But it sounds as if they girl had an relationship with someone a bit older than her, got pregnant and the relationship stood the test of time.

Isnt that good?

AND if this man happened to fancy 15 year old girls why would that be a worry to a nursery where presumably the children are a lot younger than 15.

I do not think its ok for older men to have sex with underage girls btw. I do not think a 15 year old is nearly 16 so its fine for a 40 year old to have sex with her. But that does not sound like what you are talking about.

Would it be legal for an employer to refuse to employ someone due to them having had under age sex? Hmm... I doubt it. Anyone an employment law specialist... do you know? Any relevant case law?

If the person had an unspent criminal conviction for statutory rape (which in this case would only apply to the bloke) then an employer could opt not to employ them (they'd probably have had to sign the sex offenders register anyway which would bar them from working with children). I struggle to see how they could take any position on the girl who has not done anything wrong in the eyes of the law. That's assuming they ever knew about it in the first place, which I can't see how any employer would unless they knew the girl beforehand. Weird.

lalalalalal lelouloulouelelele lalaleleloullalal tra tra lalalala!

Am I speaking your language?

Bonkers!