We live abroad and have a place in a state-run CM system where we're allocated a CM (but can say no)
It's the settling in period for DS1, 10 months, so I stay with him at CM's house for an hour each morning.
CM has two other mindees, 17mo boy and 2yo boy, let's call him Max.
The other day Max saw one of CM's male neighbours on the stairs with a bag and was bashful/scared of him. I've seen her repeatedly saying to him, "do xyz or I'll get the man with the bag".
Yesterday I was chatting to Max while DD1 played and CM got up and pretended she was leaving Max there with me, put on coat, went round corner, closed door. Max looked puzzled. I got the impression CM was trying to demonstrate to me how attached Max was to her (?!)
When it was time to get shoes on and go out to the park, he was running riot in the house. But he did get his socks eventually, I chatted to him about putting socks on, she said, no, just pretend to be going out the door and did a whole "we're leaving without you routine" til he hurriedly put shoes on in a panic.
He asked to look at an ornament, she said "Say: "CM, I love you" first.
When his mum left after dropping him he burst into tears (normal I guess) and stood by the front door crying. She didn't go to him. After a while, she said here have a biscuit (they're not supposed to have biccies, but...) and he calmed down. Later his mum asked if Max was ok and had stopped crying, CM said yes, he's fine I gave him a cuddle. She hadn't, she'd just given a bickie.
This woman is very smily and quite cuddly and was smiley through all above interactions with Max. But should she be more gently explaining things him rather than this? I've seen him running riot but she says that's only because I'm there. The other mindee not there at moment.
What do you think? Should I raise it with her?