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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

would you employ this nanny?

36 replies

00Amber00 · 11/10/2010 22:55

hi everyone,

my nanny is due to start tomorrow but it was her induction day today and i have serious doubts if she is the right nanny for us.

we were getting ready to go out for a walk this afternoon and she had my LO in her arms. whilst i was getting my shoes and was locking the front door she was in the garage, where the buggy is. when I got to the garage i saw the following - she was putting the buggy together and my 13 month old baby, who doesn't walk yet was crawling on the garage floor next to the bins!!! i was shocked to see this but did not say anything straight away until 5-10 minutes later when i gave her a suggestion as to how she should organise herself before going out, hoping that she would get the hint. i not sure she did and i have lost all little trust i had in her to start with. i have only met her twice before today and she had excellent references from the two families she worked for. the previous children were older when she started to work for the previous families. i knew she didn't have much experience with babies of my LO's age but didn't realise she had no common sense.

would you feel justified to not let her start her employment with you tomorrow if you were me?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SpeedyGonzalez · 11/10/2010 22:57

Um...was it particularly filthy on the garage floor? From your post I'm not quite seeing what the problem was. Doesn't sound like a deal breaker to me.

Original poster

00Amber00 · 11/10/2010 23:05

Hi Speedy,

It is a garage floor, right next to the bins. Although it was not like the bin's inside but pretty dirty for me to walk barefooted let alone for me to think it would be ok to put my baby there who is still at an age to put pretty much everything she finds in her mouth. Would you be happy for somebody to do this to your kids? and would you trust them from then on to look after your child? i take it the answer is yes. is there anyone out there feeling differently?

OP posts:

fairimum · 11/10/2010 23:06

I have to say if she didn't know the buggy wasn't up and ready to go then how could she have prepared earlier? I expect she was just trying to get little one in and ready to go asap so they would be ready when you joined them. If I knew buggy wasn't ready before we needed to leave and nowhere suitable to leave LO then I would have put set buggy up earlier when they were sleeping etc?

Bink · 11/10/2010 23:14

I'm with speedy, I don't quite see the problem - it doesn't sound dangerous as such. People have different tolerances for grubbiness. Are you quite a carefully clean person? Would you eg let your baby crawl about in a public sand pit?

Do you think she was monitoring your baby enough to notice if she'd put something in her mouth? You can monitor for risky things while not minding grubbiness - a good nanny will have priorities.

However, she's your baby, so if you want her kept away from dirty places that's your call. The most important thing is whether the nanny understands and is ready to go with what's important to you - if not (so if she made you feel you were making an unnecessary fuss) then that's how she isn't right for you.

JiggeryPopery · 11/10/2010 23:14

You're being a bit PFB.

Unless the baby was actually crawling around in dog poo and broken glass.

Many of us pick up the baby, give its hand a quick dust or wipe and carry on. And fairimum makes a good point about how would she have prepared earlier.

SpeedyGonzalez · 11/10/2010 23:19

You're sounding rather shirty now, Amber! I was asking how dirty the floor was so as to help you. The correct response would be to describe the condition of the floor. Your stroppiness is uncalled for.

Am now wondering whether your nanny should be writing 'AIBU to not want to work for this woman?'

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/10/2010 23:51

Why didn't you have the buggy ready and set up, OP? Your nanny isn't psychic.

ZakuroFujiwara · 11/10/2010 23:51

I wouldn't be comfortable with this (have had 3 nannies over the years). Why didn't she come and pass baby to you saying something like "sorry didn't realize the pushchair wasn't set up'

People have different thresholds for dirt though - I can't bear babies crawling on any surface other than those inside a house, for eg don't even really like church hall floors @ toddler groups

Am totally willing to admit I may be slightly in the OCD camp in this respect though!

kylesmybaby · 12/10/2010 00:09

wouldn't you have known the buggy was not set up - not her - so maybe you should have set the buggy up first. or at least told her the buggy was not set up so she could have left lo inside with you and sorted it out.

i think it is a bit late now with her starting in the morning to be having second thoughts.

why didn't you say something at the time to her. at least then she would have known you were not happy with it.

Original poster

00Amber00 · 12/10/2010 00:35

Hi,

She knew in advance the buggy wasn't up and as Zakuro said she should have asked me to hold her this time, to make the most of me being around and then think for next time. Nor did she ask me to put the buggy up. Anything would have been fine but what she did. I won't be here tomorrow so won't be able to put the buggy up for her. Is she going to put my LO on the ground every time she puts the buggy in my absence? She chose to concentrate on the buggy instead of the wellbeing of my child and who is to say she isn't going to do it again (even if i tell her)? I guess this incident mixed with the general feeling of the nanny being quite sloppy and way too laid back is what making me to be unsure about my choice. Kylesmybaby, I appreciate it is a bit late to have doubts but as with every employee you don't really know them until they are in a job. And what goes against this nanny is that she started to show her weak points on day one when lets face it even the laziest of us would make an effort. If I were applying for a sole charge position I would have not behaved the way she did today.
But as one of you already pointed out may be my standards of cleanliness, which I think is called hygiene, are a tad too high for her. I think I just made my mind up guys. Thank you for posts.

OP posts:

ThighsWideShut · 12/10/2010 01:05

Looks like someones out of a job tomorrow then. Can you not just give her the benefit of the doubt on this occasion, make it clear tomorrow how you feel on this, and see how it is in a weeks time?

colditz · 12/10/2010 01:24

It's a floor, not a needle disposal bin in Harlem. You are being very silly. babies need the sensory input of flooring other than carpets. IMHO it's neglectful to deny a child the floor just because you haven't Dettol wiped it. Your baby is 13 months not 13 weeks!

JiggeryPopery · 12/10/2010 01:28

Oh crumbs you sound awfully high maintenance.

You're completely overreacting - 'the welbeing of my child', I mean, is the child now in intensive care OR did a bit of dirt actually do no harm?

if you have high standards of hygiene, I can't imagine you have a truly filthy garage

But if you're not happy with her, best let her go now. When do you go back to work?

frakkinnakkered · 12/10/2010 05:37

Owwww I wrote this huge post and the iPhone ate it :(

Basically I would personally let her stay for the probationary period (assuming you have one in your contract). She might just be less fussed about dirt than you in general and more careful now she knows your feelings on the issue.

That said you need to trust your nanny 100% and if you don't it'll never work. Maybe you're not a good fit overall - you mentioned something about her being too laid back and that kind of difference in attitudes probably won't improve. Did you have an extended trial day as part of the interview? Is hygiene something you emphasised?

Out of interest what do you do with the buggy/your DC when you have to go out?

SonicMiddleAge · 12/10/2010 05:42

I think the issue is " i have lost all little trust i had in her to start with" - which implies you don't really want her as a nanny (and whether that is down to her or down to you and your feelings about employing a nanny I can't judge) and are therefore looking to find fault where ever you can.

Feel sorry for her though if your ambivalence and prevaricating means she's turned down other work.

NickOfTime · 12/10/2010 05:57

oh blimey, really? at 11mos mine were walking and using the bins as drums... and paddling in the dog's water, and anything else they could get into if i had to look the other way for a nanosecond!

and the gp's baby next door would sit in the garden and eat dirt... they have all grown up with good healthy immune systems!

i think you have both had a lucky escape as the relationship was doomed from the start. hopefully you haven't kept her hanging on for too long unnecessarily and she hadn't turned down any other offers to take your job.

nannynick · 12/10/2010 07:03

I would wonder if you really want a nanny.
I am wondering how you are going to manage to go to work tomorrow, without having childcare.
If you were not there, so baby could not be given to you, I am wondering how you would have wanted your nanny to sort the problem of the buggy not being ready for use.
Buggies are horrible - why not use a carrier? Buggies are horrible if you don't know the buggy - can take many attempts to work out how to open/close come buggies.

Maybe part of the issue here is that you don't want to leave your LO, so this gives you an excuse to not to go back to work... is that a factor?

Onetoomanycornettos · 12/10/2010 07:23

Our garage floor is not too unhygenic I would care if a baby crawled on in for a few min, as long as I was looking out for anything going in the mouth. But then, I would let them go in gardens/parks or pavements, once I'd had a quick look. She may have been quite flustered with you there trying to work a buggy for the first time. Personally, I'd just have an honest open chat about what you expect, where you put the baby included. It doesn't sound like a terrible child-care crime to me!

I'm not sure you will necessarily get the 'perfect' nanny if you swop this one in (the next one may give food in a way you don't like, or chats to her boyfriend, or whatever), but of course you have the right to employ who you want. I wouldn't personally give up on someone for one thing, she is obviously on a learning curve and may be mortified about the incident herself when she looks back on it, but perhaps there is more to this than you have told us.

wrinklyraisin · 12/10/2010 07:29

OP you do sound like you're looking for any reason not to hire this nanny (any nanny?). As Nick said some buggies are a real pita to put together. And maybe she thought that putting bubs on the floor was what you do? Maybe she didn't want to seem incompetent or fussy by asking you to hold the baby as she knew you would be gone tomorrow and she would have to handle stuff alone? Maybe she has a pack of antibacterial wipes in her bag and intended to wipe little ones hands after? Maybe she is relaxed about dirt and feels its essential to help build a strong immune system? I personally allow my charge to get filthy especially if we are in the park or garden. It all washes off and in my mind the world is a wonderful place and should be explored with no fear of dirt and germs. Of course I wash hands before eating etc. I just don't make an issue of getting dirty.

I think tbh your nanny has had a lucky escape. She might be "sloppy" in your mind but you might also be anal in hers. Not a good match.

phipps · 12/10/2010 08:05

This would make me think too but maybe the nanny wanted to show she could manage rather than ask you to hold the baby while she put the buggy up. She will have known she will be alone one day and might have thought you would question how she will manage when you are not there. Surely at 13 months it is an umbrella buggy which takes seconds to put up?

I think you owe it to her to give her a chance and say to her you don't want the baby put on the garage floor while she puts the buggy up and can she make sure she doesn't do it in the future. If you get rid of her for this one mistake (in your opinion) she will think you are crazy.

I also don't think you are giving her a fair chance to be honest as your posts just screams out you don't want her.

larrygrylls · 12/10/2010 08:13

Amber,

You are the employer so it is up to you to set the parameters. On the other hand, a nanny has to be regarded as a senior level employee as she is actually going to be in charge of your child. In that sense you have to find someone you can trust and not micro manage them.

Personally, I always put our baby down to crawl in our garage whilst I assemble the buggy. Once they can roll over/crawl, toddlers are going to get dirty. And exposure to bacteria helps them build their immune system the "right" way, i.e bacterial and viral defences rather than an over active response to toxins (which leads to asthma and other allergies).

However it is your child and your money to do what you want with so you must only employ someone that you are comfortable with.

annh · 12/10/2010 08:14

Was the buggy incident the only thing that made you uneasy about employing her? You have mentioned her laid-back attitude and other unspecified incidents but this is the only one you have actually described. On the face of it, if you are unhappy with this single episode which the rest of us (nannies and seasoned nanny employers both) do not think is particularly serious, perhaps you need to chill out a bit. Nannynick makes some good points in his post which I think might be at the heart of the problem.

LoopyLoops · 12/10/2010 08:15

It depends how filthy your garage is.

If fairly clean but there happen to be bins there, then I think it's perfectly reasonable to put the baby down.
If it's really filthy then you have a point, but also you need to clean your floor.

I have a feeling this is more to do with you not wanting to return to work and leave your PFB (big assumption I know, and sorry if that's not the case).

phipps · 12/10/2010 08:17

Just out of interest, what do you do with the baby while you put the buggy up?

savoycabbage · 12/10/2010 08:20

Obviously you have totally made up your mind already. There is no need to ask us.

She has great references so it won't take her long to find a new job. Perhaps you should give her some wages as you have already employed her. Obviously don't let her look after your baby whilst you search for a new nanny as it could happen again.

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