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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminders would you do this?

14 replies

Mummyto2xx · 04/10/2010 09:25

hi im a childminder and its school photos in school on thursday morning of this week,

i look after 2 siblings and mum has took it upon her self to assume that i can hang on in the morning in the hall for photos with her school age child and her younger child as she wants them to be photographed together,

the problem is that i have my own 2 children to get safetly into school and also 2 other 2 years old that have only just recently started with me and they can sometimes be a little chanllenging trying to get their own way etc,

So im trying to think weather its a good idea adnd at all possible to keep the 2 two year old happy in the pram as well as control another child sitting nice etc for his phots?? i have no idea how long it will take either.

Dad will be at home on this morning and i was thinking maybe it would be much easier and better all round for kiddies if dad was to take them and then i collect the younger child from him once they have finished?

any advice on this would be great thanks in advance :)as im a little bit unsure what to do on this thanks

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looneytune · 04/10/2010 09:52

I simply wouldn't do this for all the reasons mentioned, it's not our job!

StarExpat · 04/10/2010 09:58

I'm a mother who uses a cm and I'm really to hear this. You are not her nanny. I'm just ed that someone would assume that a cm would take this on, especially with other little ones.

I could understand and see a perfectly reasonable request if she knew that her two were your only charges that day... but this is not that scenario. How incredibly presumptuous of her. I can't believe she didn't even ask. Just assumed. People never cease to amaze me.

fizzfagins · 04/10/2010 10:03

Definately put it to the mother that you have other equal responsibility towards the other children in your care. Suggest that the father take them along for the school photo (put it that they'd be more settled with him, nice to have daddy along to see it etc) and then request that he drop them to your house afterwards so that you can carry on with usual routine. You cannot compromise the care for other children, and it's imperative that the older ones get to school on time (rules etc), by queuing up for a photo and juggling the two new little ones. It's not fair on them or you.

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 04/10/2010 12:47

hi, thanks for your replies im glad im on on my own in thinking this is an unreasonable assumption (sp). i think i will give her a nicely thought out text message as like you say fizz it would be much better all round if there dad took them along and i took over once they had been

In previous years i have seen ques and ques of people lining up out of the hall waiting for the photos taking so impratical for me to even attempt this with other kiddies intow,:( cant even understand people just assuming i would be without even asking!

yep i agree there if they were my only 2 on that day then there wouldnt have been a problem but as there not its not going to work out i dont think
thanks again :)

OP posts:

StarExpat · 04/10/2010 12:51

I don't know the woman in your situation, obviously, but I might not suggest that the dad do it... I might just say, "it will be very difficult for me to do this with other small children in tow..."... etc (in a nicely worded way). I can see how some people may not like the assumption that just because the dad will be home means that he can do this... do you see what I mean? Maybe just leave it in her hands as to how she sorts it out (maybe I'm thinking too much into this, though. I do tend to over-worry over people's reactions)

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 04/10/2010 13:02

i know what shes like i wouldnt say she sees it a problem shell just think oh well shes got them at that time so she can take them if you see what i mean, maybe if i like you say point it out to her that it could be a bit of a tricky situation it may be best for all round if dad is able to help out and take them? and plus her youngest may pose best for the dad rather than me ha running round trying to keep them all in check :0

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HSMM · 04/10/2010 13:15

I did this once (was asked when the child was dropped off in the morning, so no time to think). It was a nightmare, the other children were miserable and I felt really guilty about them. We had to hang around for ages, because we weren't allowed to queue jump and get in first. I would never do it again, unless I had no other children to care for.

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 04/10/2010 13:22

thanks for that HSMMit reasured me loads that im right in what im thinking, have texted the parent now and got a reply of " il ask him" some people eh,

OP posts:

Millenium · 04/10/2010 14:36

Loads of answers and comments, all of which I agree with. One thing I would just mention is that at our local primary school (and it's not just the school, it's the whole county), they will not permit a non-school child to appear in a school photo, sibling or no sibling so is the Mum just assuming it will be OK for the pre-school sibling to be in the picture.

Even if you were willing and able to meet the Mum's request, you may find that you are completely wasting your time!!

StarExpat · 04/10/2010 15:21

"I'll ask him"? Does she not get it? She has to sort this out. You can't do it. Does she still think that you're going to do it if he can't/won't/doesn't?

booyhoo · 04/10/2010 15:30

agree with others, you have a responsibility for all the other children in your care. i take it that the child that is at school is not normally with you at that time of day so would you infact be responsible for her/him aswell as the 3 under 5's you will have?

also, jsut say no, don't leave it sounding as though you will still do it if the dad cant.

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 04/10/2010 16:44

millenium our school encourages and accepts under school sibling onto the photos and the school age children also have seperate ones done by them selves throughout the day,

yeh she would normally be in school and i would have the 3 younger ones

yep im guna stick to my guns and say"No means No.." theyll have to sort the photo shoot out them selves..

OP posts:

Mum2Luke · 05/10/2010 12:57

I would say 'NO', if you have your own children to get into school and you have the 2 little ones, she should not be so selfish as to ask in the first place.

She should ask her husband (their dad) to do her dirty work. We are childminders NOT nannies and I will be putting something similar in my contracts in case people ask a similar question. I we start running around after them they will expect this off us with no extra payment and will escalate into other things such as taking them swimming, horse-riding, dancing, etc.

Good on you for refusing anyway.

muddleduck · 05/10/2010 13:05

Our school has exactly this set up for photos and for the last two years I have done the school run on photo days. I would never assume that our CM would do this. It is always mayhem.

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