CM physically restraining DD 6.9

[mumworried]

OK I posted this in AIBU with view of reporting to OFSTED. It now transpires the situation is true, CM had admitted it after boy mindee confirmed my DD's story.

Please give a CM view on what I should do now.

"My 2 DD's 5 & 6 go to childminder 3 days a week after school until 5.30pm. They have their dinner there.

Today they were in the lounge and I was cooking their dinner - no childminder tonight as GP's take them to gym. I hear them both hysterically crying and rush in. After calming them down DD1 says they don't want to go to the childminders anymore.

Apparently yesterday they, the boy mindee and the childminders 2 DC's were laughing and talking too much at dinner time and wouldn't settle. So the childminder put my DD1 in a highchair and strapped her in to eat - DD1 says it hurt her mini and put DD2 at the small table and strapped her into the chair. Both DD's were distraught for an hour and do not want to go there again. Aparrently the boy mindee was laughing at DD1 and then the childminder was too.

I spoke to childminder who says DD2 had to sit at small table and when she had finished she swapped with DD1. No-one was strapped in and no-one sat in the highchair.

She said this wouldn't happen again as she has a sticker chart now.

My dad has gone around there to talk to the CM, and look at the highchair as DD1 has given a very intricate description of it and how her feet were nearly touching the floor etc."

So she admitted the high chair bit? Am a bit shocked

yes, she admitted it. Still in shock myself. Went from anger to the fact my DD's were telling me this happened, to doubting my DD's when she denied it to me and then my dads face, to discust when when I realised DD's were telling the truth after boy mindee confirmed it. She rang me and I simply said that we'd spoken to boy mindee. She went very quiet and then admitted it had happened.

She even said 'but you can't get caught on it'. No-one had mentioned DD1 complaining it had hurt her 'mini' so she must of known at the time she had hurt herself.

What should I do - I'm in complete termoil. Gotta explain this to DH in half hour when he gets home from work.

I'm not a childminder, I'm a nanny but no person working with children should ever use restraint unless the child is a severe danger to themselves and others and they should be trained in the proper technique.
From what you've said it sounds like the children were acting out a bit at the dinner table; irritating yes but not serious

Were they happy there prior to this?
The detail of description would raise a warning flag with me as would the consistency of their stories with those of the other mindees.
It sounds like the CM lost control and used public humiliation as a way of regaining it, which is very unprofessional.

I'm not sure what procedure you would take. You could report it to OFSTED and I suppose to NCMA also.

It's actually gross misconduct.
I take it your DD's will not be returning.

I really do not want to return my DD's to her care. I'm currently looking at short term arrangements. I'm a teacher so to me this seemed like gross misconduct but I obviously have to allow for my knowledge not to extend to 'childcare' as oppossed to 'education'. If I witnessed a collegue doing this I would report it to senior leadership straight away.

The trust is gone - they cannot go back there.

I would contact the care commission, or whoever the body is in england if you are there.

You could also consider the police? Assault maybe? But you would need to assess how far you want to take it. If you have never had any concerns at all before the incident, you may decide to walk away but report to the care commission. (Is the CM under alot of stress currently - illness/marriage breakdown..) Sounds really extreme

This is definitely gross misconduct, if not assault. Not much worse than being humiliated and belittled as a child. Total disrespect. Ofsted are the people to call as they have welfare as their main concern. You may want to inform the child protection people in your area as the cm in question still has other mindees.

I take it if you spoke to the other little boy you also told his parents too?

I'm trained in restraint so know the circumstances in which it is and is not appropriate and this was definitely not. The use of restraint has to be the last resort, where you take control of a child who is not in control and has not managed to regain control through other methods. Lifting a 6.9 year old into a high chair would not have been easy. Did DD think it was a joke at first and go along with it or was there force used? I'm just thinking of the children that age I care for and it would take a huge amount of force if they were resistant. Are there marks on her because if there are I think it then becomes an SS issue.

There's a difference between warning a child and disciplining appropropriately to using a vengeful punishment designed to humiliate just to vent your frustrations. It's the same in childcare as in education (I've worked in both btw)

I'd be worried

No DD put herself in the highchair at CM instruction. CM then wedged her in using the tray table. DD would have done it as she is not one to argue authoruty even if she can get over exited and carried away at times.

Humiliation and physical punishment are absolutely banned by the Welfare Requirements of the EYFS and what this childminder did is totally against regulations. I would report her to Ofsted and to Social Services as the other children are potentially at risk. I certainly wouldn't be taking them back and I would take legal advice regarding payment & contract requirements - you could call the NCMA for advice.
Incidentally I'm a Childminder and am disgusted that this person has brought us into disrepute.
You will be feeling very guilty & upset over this but its not your fault in any way. Now you need to just focus on doing what is best for your children.

Still misconduct and public humiliation.
Why? Why? Why?
Over excited and carried away are normal irritating though it may be at the end of the day. Surely it would have been far easier just to give a firm choice. Either calm down and finish your tea or get down from the table, delivered calmly.
Wedging her in!
It's more calculated than I thought. I thought she'd lost her temper and physically forced her into the chair, not make her climb in, wedge her in and laugh at her. Then lie about it!
Hope you get something sorted

Agree with others. I'm a CM and in this situation would have given a warning they'd be removed from the table and if they continued, they'd be removed and be AWAY from the other children, not there being laughed at :(