Nanny choosing

[ginnycook]

Just provisionally hired a "brilliant" nanny, with impeccable references, at £8 hr net in home counties (seems quite expensive). Its my first nanny (dd1 at nursery and dd2 6 months). She's the first and only nanny I've interviewed.
All seems good, though her referees say she;s very much a go out nanny, a fun nanny, not so much a stay at home one. Also sees a lot of her nanny friends, their kids and her close family.
Not sure what to do. Think I'd prefer more a stay at homer, doing a bit more of the crafy sticking stuff, and less of her family! ....am I being a bit unreasonable and am I lucky to have a really strong references nanny who can do 3 days a week? Also the care seems to have rocketed once we started calculating and now its coming in at around £20k for 3 days a week. Help!

How does the pay compare with other nannies in your area? I suppose this is why it might help to keep interviewing, so you get some context.
I like goer-outers myself. Think it's great if they hook up with other nannies, go to music clubs/trips, blah blah. Kids watch far less telly this way .
However, I wouldn't be keen on my children going out regularly to the houses of people who are, basically, strangers. The odd occasion, as long as you get advance warning and there's a good reason, wouldn't bother me overly.
Think you're within your rights to say you'd like the nanny to inclde the following activities every week: library, One O'clock club, music club, swimming, etc etc.
Oh and if there's something that's troubling you at this stage, definitely mention it upfront.

I agree tha tI like the goer outers. I have a new nanny (been with us almost a month) and she is a goer outer and I find it great. The only downside is that goer outers tend to spend money and may be inclined to reach for the convenience food whilst out. However, if you stipulate home cooked meals and a budget then that shouldn't be a problem. BTW, I haven't had this problem with current nanny, just pointing out that it could happen.

As for £8/hour net... not in my budget. No way no how would I pay that and THEN pay for travel, food, activities, and so on...

never had a nanny but I do think £8 seems alot!!
Think a combination of stay in and go out!
I used to nanny and became great friends with another nanny and the children got on great! but we didnt do trips in to town etc. Did a lot of home activities and local toddler groups etc

I agree re £8, its quite crippling, not to mention the fact that I have to pay .40p a mile, expenses, plus food for the children every day rather than provided by nursery. Just wondered how it compared with other nanny pay in the SE?
I'm sure you're right about its good they go out. Just not sure if I should count my blessings or interview more - which is a bit difficult.

we live in c London and pay just over £7 p/h net for a f-t live out nanny, but really I wanted to say you're the boss, tell her what you do and don't want your children to do

and if she's good, she'll respect that and might even make it easy for you to say so

Have just told agency won;t be going ahead (getting charged £150 !!! it was only a provisional offer!!). Feel you are all right about seeing more and also stipulating what I want. its been a useful exercise as I needed to get to grips with what I didn't want. Interested to see if any nannies think I'm asking too much to ask for them to stay at home a bit more and perhaps spend time on creative/educational stuff?

Ginny cook, i dont think you are asking to much...

we often have a few hours in in the morning 9or afternoon).... where we do colouring / painting / playdough / cooking / lego / play mobile / dressing up / playing in the garden etc etc etc!!!!

we do NOT howvere spend ALL day inside... we try to always get out somewhere, even if just a quick trip to the park, or to the pond to feed the ducks and walk the dogs!

I would not be happy being told to be in ALL day (my boss would never dream of asking that!)
but most days we do have a bit of nice inside play too, playing with their toys!

I do both indoor crafty stuff, puzzles, reading etc and outside stuff wih my charges. We also have regular playgroup with the mums from our mum and tot class as well as other nannies and aupairs and I also take my charge to my house once every 2 weeks or so because he absolutely LOVES my gran who visits every 2 weeks. My bosses are happy about this. I could not stay at home all day with him, especially as my bosses work from home. We don't spend a lot and my boss actually encourages me to go and have tea or lunch (with my charge) with friends of mine if I feel like it. because I know that she lets me do this, I don't abuse the priviledge and we all have a great relationship.

I haven't been able to get anyone decent to work part time at £7 per hour net. Is she approved for childcare vouchers, and can either you or partner (or both) get those-that might help with cost. I have interviewed dozens and looked at 100's of cvs. the proportion of time they stay in or go out is a detail, focus on the bigger picture-can you afford it; can you bear to have a live-in or will they be able to get to you at the times you need, will they stay or are they moving around a lot (like now!), can you stand having to do this all again every few months like I have had to? Talk to their parents if they are young enough. When you offer the job, will they accept it or will other conditions magically arise that compromise their job, and therefore YOUR job and family. This is what happens to me after they start. You absolutely must interview more ASAP, so you can judge sensibly and feel confident you have the best one. You possibly could offer a bit less but she will probably move on quickly.

Thanks - good points. No, I wouldn't expect a nanny to stay in all day - with 2 boys suspect all 3 would self-combust! Just enough for them to do a bit of creative play. Also suspect have lost a good nanny, but still need to see more.
Have decided to stick with nursery option for the time being and see what happens when I go to work - doing more maths has made us realise that its actually a £7k difference between nursery care and nanny care, and I really need to feel the pain before I commit to that sort of money!

I feel that it is important for children to get out and about every day if at all possible. Trips out need not be long distance... one of my trips out this week was a 2.6 mile round trip - we went to the local Woods, where the children enjoyed spashing in the muddy puddles and of course they got some exercise, nothing like a good walk in the woods.
Would have walked there from home, if there haden't been a very busy road to negotiate.

Some nannies are more social than others. I'm rather unsocial - though did venture to a toddler group on Friday. Trips out, be it shopping (an educational experience), toddler group/activity group, walking in the woods, Legoland, are all fun activities for young children, and present opportunities for education, physical activity and social interaction. It allows them to explore the world around them... if they stayed at home all the time their world would be very small.