I need a nanny, don't I? Help me focus my thoughts

[PacificDogwood]

I have DCs aged 7, 6, 2 and 6 months.
I work 4 days/week (30hours, potentially a lot more as self-employed, lots of future changes looming).
I have a CM I love who has schoolaged DCs herself. Currently I drive my DC to her house, she does the school/nursery run and collects again. She gives them dinner, I collect them around or after 6pm.

DH works long hours with regular commitments away overnight and weekends.

I am just about to return to work after my most recent maternity leave.

I am increasingly concerned about how much time my DCs spend away from home: not enough time for homework, littlies not in their own beds for naps etc.

I do not want to lose my current CM.
I do not think she'd be available to come to our house about 8am to 7pm 3x/week because of her own children - totally understandable of course.
I am a bit wary of the whole advertising/interviewing/vetting business and of the upheaval for my kids introducing a new person to look after them.

I am not really sure why I am posting this other than to get some other thoughts as I am going round in circles (cannot go on like previously but do not want to change anything ).

And no, stopping to work is not really an option and I cannot reduce/change my hours to suit school hours.

Why oh why is this my problem and not DH's?? Gah!

Any thoughts gratefully received.

If you want your children to be in their home more then you need a nanny. I guess the question is whether that bit is more important to you than the disadvantages - ie recruitment, losin childminder, cost etc.

I know, I know, Northerlurker, nobody can make that decision for me.

Technically speaking, can you have a CM who comes to the house?? Or is that always by definition a nanny?

The cost implication, surely by the time you are looking for childcare for 4 children a nanny could by quite cost effective, non?

Well it's only pre and post school care that you need for the big ones? I think you're right though and a nanny woon't be much more than you pay now - assuming you pay per child? Yes someone who come's to your house is a nanny/housekeeper/babysitter or 'help' - not a childminder who use their own home.
How much it costs will depend roughly where you are. I do think a nanny will give you a bit more domestic help though - children's meals and washing etc which would be better value for money than just childcare alone iyswim.

A cm can't come to your house

a cm works from their home and is self employed

if you want care at your house then you need a nanny and they are employed by you

costwise - with 4 children I would have thought a nanny would be cheaper as per family where cm charge per child

guess you could ask your cm if she wants to be your nanny

don't ask you don't get ;)

Oh, a nanny would do other stuff as well?

Yes, it is only before and after school care for the big ones, DS3 goes to nursery 3x3hours/week.

We are in the Central Belt of Scotland, thank goodness NOT the South East of England !

Most nannys will do nursery duties ( tho not all agree what nursery duties are)

generally anything to do with the child/ren so cooking their meals/washing their clothes/keeping areas used by them tidy ie bedrooms/playrooms etc

And with 2 big ones at school, as a nanny I'd be more than happy to run Hoover round, maintain tidy house etc in between playgroup/school run, e.g while luttlies napping.

In Scotland, if your DH gets Childcare Vouchers (you can't get them as self-employed), then you would need to hire a nanny via a registered agency in order to pay the nanny using the vouchers.

It isn't clear to me exactly WHY you want to change from your current arrangement. What exactly isn't working?

You have mentioned homework - while a nanny may try to do homework with older children, your childminder could as well. So it may not just be the location that is causing a problem in that respect, more the amount of distractions possibly.

Napping in their own beds - is that really important? Is it causing an issue at the moment, if so would sleeping at home make any difference?

One advantage of a nanny is that they will do some domestic duties... though particular nannies like me may not do some things, such as I don't Iron clothes. I do however put wash loads on, hang up washing to dry, fold and put away, load/unload dishwasher, cook food (sometimes badly, my cakes never seem to rise well - after 2 years I've still not got to grips with the ovens temp gauge accuracy level), tidy and hoover on occasion.

Long term are your childcare needs - so the days and hours of care - going to change such that they won't fit with what your CM provides? Do you need someone who would start earlier, finish later?

One advantage of a nanny over a CM is that a nanny comes to your home, so can get your children dressed in the morning, rather than you having to do that and then taken them to the CM's home.

A nanny may cost you £120 gross a day, plus other costs... see Example Costs of Employing A Nanny
How does that compare with your CM fees?

Shame you don't want 2 days a week!

Although I will help you with the process, agencies in this area if thats what you decide to do.

Oh and my boss works in same area as you (area of work I mean) so can help with how the voucher system works - hahaha we love fighting with them, they don't understand Scotland is DIFFERENT from England and that OFSTED is NOT Scottish Its become our new hobby to argue with them!

Oh, giraffes, I had forgotten your field of expertise! Thanks goodness I offered you chocolate on your other thread - will come back to pick your brain if I may...

I think a nanny sounds perfect for you but if you're self employed do you work from home? Would you be able to shut yourself away and do that if the children were all home?

Also remember that post school and in the holidays the nanny will have all four to see you so unlikely to be able to leave you with a completely tidy house/kitchen at the end of the day - would this bother you?

A nanny will also need some cash to do things with your children so don't forget to factor that into your calculations as well as increased food/heating costs etc.

Hope it all works out whatever you decide. i think it sounds a great nanny job for a nanny who likes to keep busy and enjoys a broad age range.

Thanks, nannynick, that link was really helpful/comprehensive. But the cost, gah - I have always felt that childcare is so poorly pain for those whose job it is, and so expensive for those who are looking for the childcare... not sure how to reconcile those two facts .

Anyway, I don't know why I am coy about my job (have mentioned it often enough on MN), I am a GP, work 30 hours over 4 days, 'long' day is 8 to 6 which is the hours my CM is working. She is v close to work, but it is still difficult/stressful for me to try and be at hers not too much after 6. She has been v helpful and flexible over the years, but I do not want to abuse her good nature.

Also due to changes at work it is v likely I will have to go in earlier and leave later (how on earth am I going to combine that with still BFing DC4?? But that's for another thread...)

I am now dreaming of a lovely lady coming to the house, completing the kid's morning routine incl school/nursery run with me swaning out of the door all fragrant and groomed as opposed to wild-haired and frantic .

I would probably need a nanny for 35 hours/wk, 40 max. I am not that bothered about additional housework as long as she would give the boys dinner/snacks etc.

Giraffe, do you not have any mates looking for work in sunny Lanarkshire ? I'd much rather go with a personal recommendation than an ad/agency...

Thanks for everyone's thoughts.

it can be more than just a dream

but obv cost does come into it

obv you want a nanny who is capable of looking after 4 children and making sure all their needs are met - tho the younger the nanny and less exp they have will make it cheaper

it would a fab 1st /follow on job for someone to gain experience with all your ages of children but would you want someone who has only a few years of exp?

it does make a difference having them at home. I can't really put into words why it makes such a difference but it does, and I found this especially so when I started working longer hours.

I think the difficulty is that you have a childcare situation that works at the moment! So it's hard for you to see any other situation as you're not starting from the viewpoint that you have a problem to deal with (like most people have when they have to change childcare arrangements!).

I think you need to sit down and think about what you'd need the nanny to do - e.g. working hours. Though you say you struggle to get back by 6 and that's a bit of a strain, a nanny would expect you to be back by her end time too.

Our ex nanny, nanny2 (left as she was covering maternity leave of nanny1) went on to be the nanny for a GP and her husband consultant and she agreed some flexibility for emergencies upfront (i.e. when one or either had to work late due to a medical issue) and she said it worked really well for all of them.

The key thing is to be honest upfront and for that to happen, you need to have a real think about what your expectations would be, how long they would need to work, how often you think (on average) emergencies have arisen in the past etc. etc.

Presumably I could negatiote exact hours with the prospective nanny? Ie 8am til 7pm 3x/week with a shorter halfday 1x for instance.

It is not so much medical emergencies that hold me back (they are thankfully rare), but administrative crap things that need to be done after hours.

Part of the reason why I am reluctant to rock the boat is because we have had the same childcare set up since DS1 was born and the continuity is important to me too.

Also the Cm has proven that she does not take time off sick without good reason, is v flexible when needed and the children love her too.

yes you can negociate exact hours with nanny :)

does your cm have any other children - is it worth asking her if she would become your exclusive nanny 4 days a week and work for you, at your house and be employed rather than se

Yes, you can negotiate various hours for various days. I work for GP (think I'm allowed to say that) so have been doing two shorter days, two longer days. Currently I'm doing a short half-day and 4 short days.

As long as you keep the number of hours per week fixed, so the finances are fixed... you can vary the actual working hours on a day by day basis if necessary - though a nanny may not like that... so fixing the hours for a period of time, then changing them can work.

It's down to how flexible the nanny can be. You may find that if you offered 40 hours a week, the nanny wouldn't take other work rest of the week thus would be more willing to switch days around when necessary. The extra hours you could use for yourself in some way - be it studying, catching up on paperwork, or just having a relaxing day staying in bed late and washing your hair in peace. Problem of course is cost.

Hi, I have a nanny friend who lives in Lanarkshire and looking for a job if you are interested? She is 27, driver with own car, qualified. She has 6 months temp nanny experience from this year with 2 boys 3 and 7 and has previous nursery experience, she is currently working in the baby room at a nursery though is keen to get back to nannying. She is very bubbly, has spent a few years as a kids club/holiday rep, not the best cook! but is learning!

Sorry, I haven't been back.

Thanks, providentielle, your friend sounds like the kind of person I'd want to meet... however for the time being we've decided to stick with our CM, maybe ask her whether she would be prepared to be our nanny.

I may stalk you on MN though if I change my mind .

does your cm have other mindees?

did you ask her if she would consider being your nanny or is she staying as your cm?

She has her own 2 boys (12 and 10) and so far has had my 3 + DS4 when I return to work in 10 days' time . She has no other mindees. I have not asked her yet how she would feel about changing her role to be our nanny because I suspect the answer won't be the one I want to hear.
Yes, I am a coward.
But I will ask her.
Just thought I should maybe actually start working again and see how it goes before I make major changes to our childcare arrangements.

Def no harm in asking

don't ask don't get :)

it would mean less paperwork and hassle for her