Sensitive: Finding out about Cultural Differences btw CM and Family

[arses]

Hi

Last week, I met a great childminder. I am really impressed with her interaction style and how she structures her day etc.

However, before I left, I asked to use the toilet and there was a large poster on the back of the door which basically let me know that she is a very committed Christian (e.g. about the Lord and with biblical quotes and references to being saved etc).

The fact that she is (maybe) a woman of faith doesn't bother me in the slightest, but it did make me wonder: how do you approach finding out about values and core cultural beliefs in a sensitive way?

I quite like the idea of my ds being exposed to other cultures but at the same time, I'd like to know a bit more about what he might pick up on e.g. what if the family are homophobic? Or very against lone parents?

In a nursery, it wouldn't really make as much difference IMO as it's so standard and he would be cared for by a variety of people but this is obviously this woman's home and she has her own children there who she will be caring for and explaining things to etc etc so it's inevitable that in the business of being a good mum etc she will pass on her own values.. I just don't know if they will necessarily be the same as ours and I suppose I'd like to find out more about that without asking her anything that appears judgey or intolerant, because I don't mean to be?

Any help gratefully received!

By the way, I know not all committed Christians/evangelical Christians are 'anti' certain groups vs others, but of course she might be.. and that is my question.. before I am flamed !

Personally, i would have thought there would be a statement/policy already made to you about this, which would explain the values of the setting and what the hopeful positive outcome is.

The fact there is not one gives you every right to question in exactly the words used

(as in you say bluntly:
are (you) homophobic? Or very against lone parents?)

Be open - ask her if she has a policy on inclusion. That she ensures that all areas of our society are included in her setting.

I have a policy which states I will not discriminate against any persons whatever their colour, religion, gender, social background ect ect..and will challenge any remarks made.

You would want to know if she believed sinners go to hell - and so do naughty children. Not at all sure how you'd ask her.
How about - I noticed from your poster you are a committed Christian. What aspects of your religion do you use when you are working with children? Are there any aspects that guide how you deal with their behaviour?

Oooh, that's fantastic julerose!

Interesting.

I am a christian childminder. ALL children are welcomed in my home.

I am not shy in letting the parents know that I am a christian.

I realise that some of the children that I deal with are not from christian families therefore we will have different ways of doing things.

If you are not sure about the faith of the childminder why not ask her about what she believes.

I am not against lone parents, or their children.

Talk to her. DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING.

Im agnostic, but that certainly doesnt stop me from being inclusive with the children that I mind.
As Mum2bless says ALL children are welcome in my home no matter what their Race, Creed or Colour, I have a LO who's dad is
Muslim and mum is Hindu,
I also have a inclusion policy.

I am not expecting that this woman won't be inclusive, and I expect that it will be legally required to have an inclusion policy? However, I do think it's important to understand eachother's values because it's a home environment vs an educational setting and values will transmit. I'm not assuming anything, but I would like to know a bit more about this as I think it's important - at least as, if not more so, than many of the other questions you ask.

We are atheists. Our last nanny was Jewish. Not Frum , but religious enough. Was never a problem. She didn't impose her beliefs on our children, but she was always open and happy to answer questions or to explain certain things, like why she didn't eat pork or the significance of Jewish festivals etc.

Are you worried? Do you have reason to be, do you think?

My own opinion, is that as a childminder, my own beliefs are kept to one side,
I think what Im trying to say is that I dont impose them on anybody.
Each to their own and all that.

Up until a few months ago the children I minded were really very young and IMO would prehaps not know 'their religion' from any another.

Now I only have after schoolers, 4 1/2 years & upwards, should the questions re; Religion, God, Jehovah etc etc come up, I will answer to the best of my knowledge
(and if in doubt refer back to the parents, ask them their thoughts and how to deal with said subject)
and rightly or wrongly, change the subject, start an activity/game etc.

this is very interesting.

I took my mindees to a new toddler group last week and the leader had them all say grace before their juice and fruit break.. I thought that was a bit odd actually..I dont push any religious beliefs onto mindees, thats the parents area I feel...

I talk to parents about culture and religion, but only because i take the mindees to church each week. All the children i currently care for are from christian families and we would skip church if it was ever a problem for anyone. Other than that, when we are discussing behaviour, boundaries and inclusive practice my faith does not come into it.