ds hysterical at CM- any settling in tips?

[roslily]

Ds has been at a CM since he was 6 months old. But the CM found a new job just before school holidays (I am a teacher). So ds had me for the whole six weeks, then he has started at a new CM. It is 3 days a week. He had one settling in session, where he was very clingy and cried, but she said he was fine once I was gone.

Today the CM phoned DH, as ds was hysterical, wouldn't eat, drink or sleep. She asked him for tips on settling. SHe tried the suggestions given (walking in pushchair, yogurt) None of which worked.

Dh went early and stayed with him there. He ate a little and played, but stayed close to dh.

I feel awful that he is like this, both for him and her. What can I do? He is 1

Maybe the CM could introduce a 'treasure box' of interesting things that he can play with, just basic things like smooth bits of wood, bunch of keys, something small from home?

I did this with my 12 month old mindee and he looked forward to exploring his box and saw coming to my house as something positive.

Maybe you could let him bring a toy from home or even a jumper (unwashed) with your smell on it.

It could just be that he is just overwhelmed with the change of routine and soon enough he will settle down and enjoy himself.
No child will starve themselves on purpose.

walking in buggy/sling/lots of cuddles will all help him to settle

Anyway, age 1 is PRIME seperation anxiety time and poor DS may have a few more sessions of feeling anxious

could you sleep with a muslin (tucked into your boobies for maximum smell) then send it with him

It may take a few sessions for him to relax enough to eat/drink/sleep

I will do the muslin thing, thanks.

She has a treasure box which he likes when we are there with him.

I have put together a little box of his favourite things to take with him.

I can understand just how distressed you must feel but please can I reassure you - it sounds like your childminder has done the right thing - given you a call - shows her professionalism in my view and also your LO will settle.
The muslin is a good idea but for a while (and I don't mean this to sound harsh at all because as a parent I have EVERY sympathy), its going to be 'tough it out'. He will settle, it just might take some time.

Try to make sure you (or who ever is dropping him off) remains upbeat, try not to convey the anxiousness you are inevitably feeling (especially after this). keep the goodbyes firm, cheerful and brief.

your LO is expressing his natural survival instinct in the only way he knows how - he is in unfamiliar surroundings and people - he will get used to it and he needs to learn to trust. As already said 9months to about 18months is that 'funny age' for separation anyway. And they get hysterical when their emotions run away with them

Chin up - its sounds like you, hubs and the minder are doing all the right things. Sending a hug and just to

Thanks. It is my dh dropping him off, so at least I don't have to experience it first hand.

We will see how it goes.