Time for a new au pair?? Wwyd?

[OneLieIn]

Our au pair us great in so many ways. When we interviewed her, we told her she would need to drive as the dcs are starting 2 different schools. No problem, she said, I have had my licence for 7 years. We said that we would get her a couple of lessons to feel at ease with the roads over Herr.

So, the truth has come out in the last few days, she hasn't driven for 6 of the 7 years!! She has had 1 lesson and was emotionally wrecked after it - she is quite nervy generally- And the instructor is now saying a minimum of 6 lessons!! Dh is worried she is too nervy to ever drive the dcs anywhere.

So I have pulled in the favours and have this week sorted, but that's it. Wwyd, ask her to leave? Itall feels very harsh!

I wouldn't want my children in a car with someone who has so little experience and is nervy personally. It is a horrible situation, but one of her own making. I guess the question to ask yourself is if she cannot drive, can she still do what you need her to do, or enough other stuff so that you don't mind rearranging things so you do the driving. If not she needs to go and hopefully have learnt that she needs to be honest next time (and yes, I know that sounds harsh.)

Maybe offer her this choice - you said you would pay for 2 lessons, so do that and you will lend her the money to pay for the remaining lessons so she can build up her confidence and stay. She repays you a little each payday. From reading this board it seems good au pairs are hard to find and it may be worth investing some time and faith in this person. Maybe you can take her out in the car to practise each evening this week? I'm pretty sure she'll never exaggerate in an interview again!

Couple of questions - how is she otherwise with the children? If she is a great aupair it might be worth persisting?

How long were you hoping the aupair would stay with you? If it is a fairly short-term commitment, I would say let her go, you can't spend three months worrying about her driving if she is leaving after six.

How much driving does she need to do? If it is a lot on motorways or small roads, I wouldn't be happy to have an inexperienced driver who is also trying to keep an eye on children in the back seat.

I think if you are unhappy with any of the above answers, you need to let her go. It may be harsh but she was very inconsiderate in allowing you to believe that she would be able to fulfil that important part of her role. Ultimately, all she has done is add to your workload (who is going to pick your children up next week?) and created a doubt in your mind about what else she may have fabricated/exaggerated.

I agree with annh.
another important question is was she driving somewhere comparable? Our first au pair had never driven on the left but had driven in a busy city so could cope with the volume of traffic/stop-start nature of city roads.

You would be entirely justified in letting her go. You could offer annh's suggestion - i.e she pays towards the lessons - and she if she reacts maturely about it. But I would only bother if she is really really great in other ways. You need to think of a plan though if six isn't enough and she's basically re-learning. Bloody expensive, the lessons, AND you have the added stress of your kids with someone who is basically a new driver.

Do you live in an area that is hard to recruit for or is there some other aspect of the job which makes recruiting tricky?

Thanks everyone for confirming what I thought.

Driving is not an option. We have no way of collecting both dcs unless she drives.

Time to start looking :-(