Nursery vs nanny share?

[togarama]

What are the pros and cons of nursery vs nanny share? Has anyone switched from one to the other and how did it work out?

We've had a lots of changes in circumstances over the summer (DH back in full-time employment after a year out of work, au pair moving out, starting college and shifting to new pay/hours, 18 month old DD starting at a new nursery for one day a week etc..) and I'm doing a bit of thinking about the future.

DD is currently on the waiting list for 2 more days at her new (much closer) nursery and due to leave the old nursery (much further away and with hours that clash slightly with my working hours) at the end of the month. Our ex-au pair has two days off per week from college and will continue to look after DD on these days.

However, DD hasn't seemed to be happy at the new nursery over the summer (not eating, reported as being "quiet" when she's a total extrovert with us etc..). I'm willing to put it down to "settling in" in the short term but if she's always going to be unhappy I'd rather find another option.

I hadn't heard of nanny sharing until recently but now wonder if it could be a solution. Flicking round the internet indicates that its increasingly popular and that the costs may compare similarly to nursery costs.(We're not looking for another au pair since DH is no longer at home and we need someone who can be in sole charge.)

Does anyone have any advice or experience to share?

Thanks!

A nannyshare could be the same or higher cost than a Childminder... so is a Childminder also an option.
A nannyshare may not take place at your home... you may be needing to take your DD to someone elses home... so it may or may not be all that much of advantage to you - depending how the share is done.

A nanny can look after your child when your child is ill but I'm not sure about a nannyshare, you'd need to discuss that with the other family.

When we looked into nannyshares I was a bit unsure about keeping my house safe and clean enough for the other family's child, I felt I would need to meet more Ofstedy type standards as if another child fell down my stairs or something I would feel so awful.

A nursery won't have them when ill but usually is available more year-round than a nanny (some nurseries have official holiday periods though).

What are your thoughts about using a childminder instead?

Is your child now pushing 2yrs old? If she is going to be starting at school in a year's time for a few hours in the morning, then you are going to have to change her childcare then anyway as a nursery cannot do drop off or pick up. So it might make sense to look at alternatives now so your daughter is settled and not having to cope with a new carer as well as school. While you are looking around and exploring the nanny share option, your daughter presumably will still be at the new nursery so if she starts to be a lot happier then you can drop the whole idea but if she continues to be unhappy, you can go ahead with a nanny share. A child minder is definitely a good option to consider too if you can find one with the right age vacancy and who lives in your local area - just make sure the childminder would do the school run for you if you are going to need it in Sept 2011).
Because of the work I do, I come across many parents who switch from nursery care to a nanny share - usually because of the inflexibility of nursery care in terms of things like pick up at the end of the day as well as problems to do with having to find temporary alternative care arrangements if their child has even a very minor illness. Also many parents find getting a child to a nursery before going on to work, can be quite fraught and time consuming so having a nanny that comes to their home at the beginning of the day can make things much easier for everyone - including the child! And even if the nanny share is not going to be based in the parent's home all the time, then linking with a share family who are only a few streets away or very local will improve the start to the day.
The best nannies (and childminders) should provide a good mix of activities, outings, playdates, messy time, quiet time, reading etc so a child who is used to a nursery environment would still get the structure, stimulation and socialising that a good nursery can provide. And in a nanny share (or with a childminder) there will be a ready made companion(s) which helps make the change even easier.

When doing a nanny share, there are a couple of golden rules that should not be ignored:

1. make sure you are compatible with the other family - that how you want your child brought up is how they want theirs brought up e.g the type of food; the number and mixture of activities to do and attend; what structures if any to be followed; behaviour and discipline etc etc. If one family is a keen Gina Ford sort of parent and the other is a go with the flow, let it all hang out sort of parent, then it will never be a happy nanny share and the nanny will be stuck in the middle with the impossible job of trying to satisfy both sets of parents.
2. Apart from making sure the nanny has a contract of employment, also make sure that both families have a 'contract' between themselves too - it only needs to be a few bullet points but they are important e.g. things like how much notice each family has to give the other if they wish to stop sharing; what percentage of the nanny's salary does each family pay and how is it paid and that each family's share of the salary should still be paid even if they are on holiday; what happens if one of the children is sick; the venue where the share will take place; what happens when a parent is late and the nanny has to stay on when the other family does not need her; etc. Whatever solution you decide on, I hope it turns out well for you - it is so difficult worrying whether a change would make things better or worse. But remember looking around at alternatives is not a committment straight away - and you might find that just seeing what's out there will make your mind up for you one way or the other!

Thanks all - this is helpful and lots of really good points to think about.

Not sure why I didn't think of childminders earlier (Everyone I know seemed to either use nurseries or have relatives living nearby.)

It turns out that there's a few good childminders nearby and they do have spaces. I'm going to see how DD is at the new nursery this week, visit at least one childminder with DD next week and make a decision after that.