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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Help with Nanny related problems

17 replies

janethomas · 23/08/2010 14:47

HELP! We have had our nanny for 6 months now and we are experiencing a number of problems. She has been late on a number of occasions and was even late for the interview. We have now given her a verbal warning.

In addition to this she is now not responding to some instructions. I have requested a menu and shopping list be left and she has only done this on one occasion out of 4.

She has refused to empty the dishwasher and I have come home to an absolute mess in the kitchen. We have now provided her with a copy of her duties which was in her contract.

We had to suspend her during her first month and the letter which we had filed has gone missing from our cabinet in the office.

We also put down a stipulation that she be ofsted registered which I cannot now do as she is pregnant.

I am at my wits end not knowing what to do and feeling trapped as I cannot just severe her contract which I would have done oordinarily. I don't want our little boy at tto go to a nursery just yet as I feel he is ttoo young. But feel that the only way I ccan resolve this is if I resign.

Our son is now hitting me when she comes in on a Monday morning and doesn't go to her for some time.

Is this normal behaviour?

Please can someone offer some advice?

Thanks Jane

OP posts:
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HarrietTheSpy · 23/08/2010 15:00

Why did you have to suspend her in the first month?

Being pregnant in and of itself I wouldn't think would insulate her from disciplinary action but you do need to be careful if you dismiss her re your reasons. How late is late and how often?

janethomas · 23/08/2010 15:03

As she had not disclosed a medical condition that could have seriously impacted her dealing with our child.

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Page62 · 23/08/2010 15:04

no, that is not normal behaviour for your little boy
i always go by the rule that childcare is there to make your life easier, not make it harder. it sounds like this nanny is causing you grief. just tread carefully as you mentioned she is pregnant though if it is crucial that she gets there on time (and normally it is), then she has to do that, pregnant or not.
i'm sure someone will come along to give better advice re serving notice etc but you must cut your losses now - it's obvious trust has been eroded and it's already on shakey ground. if you still want a nanny, you can just hire another one, you don't necessarily need to go the nursery route. hope that helps

Earlybird · 23/08/2010 15:05

How/where did you find this nanny? If via an agency, they should be able to advise?

janethomas · 23/08/2010 15:10

We did find this girl through an agency but its her first job as a nanny. We thought she was very sweet but she's a totally disorganised. I've even come home to find baby with no top and a cardigan on or just a nappy and top.

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dinkystinky · 23/08/2010 15:13

She doesnt sound like the right nanny for you and your child. I'd say you have grounds to serve notice if you want to as she has not met various stipulations. Try posting on the legal board to get some employment lawyer's advice though.

Page62 · 23/08/2010 15:14

in that case, you must check the contract you signed with the agency. it will say something about finding you a replacement nanny at no extra fee if for some reason there was a problem with the placing of the first one

Earlybird · 23/08/2010 15:26

Yes - check the contract you have with the agency/nanny. In theory, you are in a much better position than you would have been if you'd simply hired her off the internet.

Was the letter that has gone missing written on a computer? If so, you (obviously) still have a copy of it and can print it off again.

janethomas · 23/08/2010 15:29

No this was the copy we found lying around from her Dr saying she'd missed an appt and that she was on medication it was important for her to get back in touch!

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BranchingOut · 23/08/2010 15:40

Erm, then surely you weren't entitled to keep a copy?

janethomas · 23/08/2010 15:47

Difficult one as it was the reason we had to suspend her, and we did speak with her dr but you are right we possibly should not have kept a copy - but the fact that it has gone missing means she's been through our things as well.

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nannynick · 23/08/2010 17:38

Being pregnant does not protect someone from being dismissed. It does make it harder though as the reason for such a dismissal can't be due to them being pregnant.

If in their first 12 months however, dismissal is a lot easier... as they can't claim unfair dismissal - though can claim Wrongful Dismissal.

Dismissing Employees (PDF) - this is possibly a useful read. It's 4 pages and gives some basic information about fair and unfair dismissal.

We have had our nanny for 6 months now

So can't claim unfair dismissal unless on grounds of pregnancy.

She has been late on a number of occasions
Did you issue a verbal warning, a written warning, a second written warning?
Did you discuss with her about why she was late on each time - such as was it to do with pregnancy?

and was even late for the interview.
Yet you still hired her Confused
Being late for an interview in my view would usually result in someone not getting the job, as reliability is a very important thing in nannying.

We have now given her a verbal warning.
For what? On the latest occasion of being late?

At least you have started down the disciplinary procedure. So next time the same thing occurs you can issue a written warning.

In addition to this she is now not responding to some instructions. I have requested a menu and shopping list be left and she has only done this on one occasion out of 4.

I presume menu planning and producing a shopping list is part of her duties as stated in the contract. If so, then discuss with her why it has happened. Give an opportunity to improve. Issue a written warning if it does not improve.

She has refused to empty the dishwasher
Refused, or just not gotten around to it?

This sort of thing whilst being annoying, it may not be worth getting uptight about... as a lot of give-and-take is involved in the relationship between a nanny and their employer. If the dishwasher needs unloading and someone has the time to do it... they do it. If the dishwasher is half-ful, no point in it being put on until it is full.

I have come home to an absolute mess in the kitchen.
Did you discuss how it happened to be left like that? Maybe there was a reason such as baby suddenly became very demanding. What takes priority - the child or the kitchen? Nannies often have to make priority judgements and the children are number 1, they always come first which can mean other things get a bit slack.

We have now provided her with a copy of her duties which was in her contract.

Always useful to remind someone at a disciplinary meeting what they did originally agree to do. Though can sometimes backfire in that they then stick to it 100% and don't do any of the things not mentioned in it! As I wrote earlier... it's a give-and-take relationship, sometimes flexibility is necessary - such as dealing with overflowing drains (that's probably not on your list of duties, though you probably don't want to come to a home flooded with sewage).

We had to suspend her during her first month and the letter which we had filed has gone missing from our cabinet in the office.
This is a separate incident, deal with it in isolation. Why you had a copy of the latter I'm not sure... how you found the letter I'm not sure.

We also put down a stipulation that she be ofsted registered which I cannot now do as she is pregnant.

How does being pregnant stop her from being Ofsted registered?

I am at my wits end not knowing what to do and feeling trapped as I cannot just severe her contract which I would have done ordinarily.

You could terminate the contact as per usual, by giving notice under the terms of the agreement. May be wise to have a quick chat to ACAS and/or legal helpline (ask your home insurer for the number if it's not in your policy) to check that you can give notice as per contact terms even though she's pregnant.
Also worth posting on Legal Board about that, as some mumsnetter's may know the situation.
The key thing I know is that you can't dismiss for a pregnancy related reason (opps, just spotted that you have started a thread thereSmile)

Our son is now hitting me when she comes in on a Monday morning and doesn't go to her for some time.

That is not normal behaviour. It can be tricky sometimes after a period of separation - such as going on holiday - but shouldn't really be an issue if just a weekend.

MrsWobble · 23/08/2010 17:56

depends a bit on finances but what i would do is give the nanny notice and get a temp from an agency whilst recruiting a new one. it's not a cheap option but neither is giving up work, assuming there's no other reason for you to want to do so.

your nanny has been employed less than a year so you do not have to give a reason (i think - but worth checking) as long as you follow the termination process set out in your contract.

you could try and dismiss without paying notice but i think this would be stressful and potentially might not work. equally you could ask her to work her notice and save the cost of the temp but again this would be stressful and might not work.

unpalatable as it may be to write a large cheque for her not working - think of it as a cheque for peace of mind and resolution of the problem.

Shelzy · 24/08/2010 14:12

If she has been there for less than a year then you can get rid of her for anything that is not discrimatroy (i.e. personality clash/ son does not like her).

HowsTheSerenity · 24/08/2010 22:14

I am more curious as to what medical condition makes it wrong for her to work with your child. Unless she has something that will kill your child then that should not be an issue.

mamatomany · 24/08/2010 22:22

I would book a week off work as of tomorrow and fire this girl immediately, then get a temp you can micro manage for the rest of the week.
This is going to get worse not better, we had a nanny who started with us in early December and was pregnant by January, thought she could give me a list of duties she could no longer perform due to pregnancy, like playing with and bathing the DC's Hmm
Ended up dismissing her without notice as she did something dreadful, i blame the hormones she was not the same girl, but still not fair on our children and not my problem, you need somebody you can rely on.

grapeandlemon · 25/08/2010 08:02

I don't think she is right for you but pls be very careful about the letter you found and filed. It sounds like something you didn't have any right to be privvy to and it was not actually your place to file a letter not addressed to you.

Also please tread carefully, she is not obliged to disclose details of a personal medical condition to anyone.

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