Why does my 4 year old son always play up when I childmind.

[jazee]

Hi everyone.
This problem is really getting me down. He always seems to play up when I look after other boys his kind of age. Fine with other ages and better with girls.
He gets really hitty and I feel I am really struggling at the moment.
With one particular boy, they both get so rude and boisterous and I find it really hard to calm the situation down. It feels like a mad house and the boys are so hyper.
I go out on visits and places they will enjoy and can run around. We went to a park the other day and they were being horrid to the other kids. So embarassing
Luckily for me my son starts school in September.
I feel like such a crap person. Why do they not listen. The other child who comes from a lovely family is becoming a nightmare!
Is this normal. These boys have known each other for nearly 3 years and are more like brothers.
Help needed please

he wants you to himself. Every day, other children come to his house and get mummied by his mummy. When they are very different to him, younger, older or female, he can accept that they have different needs and wants and therefore take nothing from him, but when it is a similarly aged child of the same gender, he feels replaced in your affection. He MUST be noticed and adored above all by his own mummy so he plays up for your attention.

I never mind boys of the same age as mine especially after school. Mine are now 8 and 5 but are angels with younger children or girls, I've come to the conclusion they just have to flex their muscles when around me!!
When I first started minding I had a boy who was in the same class as my eldest son,They weren't naughty or anything really awful but just really irritated each other, my son couldn't have friends back and i've learnt now what fits in with us.

Hi, thanks for your replies - all very true. I have just taken on a boy who is a baby and my son was so helpful.
The little boy of 3 who visis, only comes for 3 short mornings and the day he doesn't come my son keeps asking for him and asks when he will be round to play. Alot of the time the boys get on really well, but more recently they are so boisterous together. Perhaps its because there is no play school. They do behave in a bit of a brotherly way!!
I will seriously take on bord what you said Danthe4th, about having children of different ages to my son and in particular girls - that really makes sense. Thank you.

I'm just going through the process of registering as a Foster carer and our LA have said they don't place foster children within a two year age bracket of your own children for exactly this reason.
While my own child is a girl I do witness this behaviour between two 6yr old boys that I care for. I've minded both since they were tiny, but recently they just get so jealous and attention seeking when I have them together. I'm hoping they'll grow out of it eventually...

I recently terminated a contract for a boy who is a year older than my son. This child seemed to bring out the worst in DS and I could not stand his behaviour when the boy was with us and I used to dread him coming. Sounds awful, but it was true.

Things are lot easier without the child and having read this thread, I will now make sure that I do not have another boy of the same age as mine in my group. Makes sense now!

my daughter is only 3 but recently she has got fed up with the children coming and having to stay downstairs in the playroom so she has been going back up the stairs and watching tv in the livingroom or playing in her room. i am happy for her to do this as she should feel relaxed and at home and do her own thing

My daughter is almost 10 and is a nightmare when I am minding. I have been doing this job for 15yrs+ and never had any problems with my older daughters when they were this age. She doesnt mind the babies being here but once the mindees get older she will pick fights, cause arguments and generally be really horrible to them.

also when parents come to collect mindees she will play up even more. Its so embarassing when Im trying to discuss the day with parents. Its like having a toddler around .

Any ideas please all you fab mumsnetters !