Nanny with kid

[Igglybuff]

Hi

I'm currently looking for a nanny for my baby DS. We've interviewed a few nannies and are struggling to choose.

One of them has a young toddler who would also be at our home when she looks after DS (we asked the agency to forward such candidates). I think it would be nice for DS to have a playmate - it wouldn't be all week, so he would have one to one with myself for the majority of the time. She's also confident, has nannied for 4 years and we had a nice rapport. We've met the toddler and she's lovely.

I wondered if anyone had experience of having a nanny with their own child? What are the pros and cons? I would like someone with actual experience to tell how they've found it please!

Thanks

Pros are:
Playmate

Usually gain a nanny with more experience and who is loyal to you

Lower rate of pay

Cons are:

Double buggy,2 cots, 2 highchairs and does she have an extra carseat in her car

Whether she is happy to adapt her child's nap times to your own child and is flexible about their routine generally If separate nap times they could end up hardly leaving the house)

Whether they will get on as they get older and whether the nanny's child accepts the 'sharing' of his/her mum

Whether the nanny is happy to pay for her own child to attend the activities you want your child to attend

Sickness of her child or yours - what happens then?

Ours worked well mainly because she was an experienced nanny and her child slotted in with mine and their requirements.
She made sure their needs came first before her own child while she was at work.
You need to iron out potential conflicts/problems beforehand and if so it can work well.
Get the nanny to discuss the cons with you.

As with all employment it depends on the nanny.

Do a search on previous threads with 'nanny with own child' and you'll find more information.

Thank you. I'm a bit concerned about the "sharing" the nanny and making sure she puts DS first. This job will be the first time she'll have a chance to take her DC to activities more suited to her age group as her previous job was with older children.

We discussed routine and her DC doesn't have one and she'd work with ours.

DH prefers a different nanny with no experience in nannying (although 6 years in childcare) - I'm still not sure.

We needed a temp nanny for 3 months recently whilst I did some work, we used an agency.

Had quite a few candidates to choose from, one of which was a nanny with her own child.

After meeting her (and the others), we decided we really liked her, and my dh and I sat and talked through all the pro's and con's. I admit I was a little worried about how things would work.

I was very pleasantly suprised at how smoothly everything went, and to be honest, it was a very good situation.

She was very organized, and brought along with her, a double buggy, extra booster seat, we had a travel cot anyway.

She said that she would bring all her childs own food etc, but I said no, that her child could share exactly what my ds had.

I never worried about her putting her child first, both children needed different attention at different times, and I do believe that having another child around, made my ds more comfortable about not having me around. He was happy to see nanny and her child every day, and he couldnt have been bothered about me leaving.

At one point her child was hitting and biting, and she felt awful, but these things happen, and I wasnt at all concerned. I felt confident leaving my ds with her, as she was a mum, and used her experience and intuition.

We didnt pay her any less, the usual rate.

I can highly recommend a nanny with her own child.

My only advice would be to be very clear about your expectations before you take her on.

Why did you prefer her to the other candidate and what is the other nanny's experience in childcare?
Nannying is quite different to nursery work.

My nanny was always very punctual and organised and never sick: all qualities I valued.

I have always asked for telephone numbers of previous employers for references and asked specific questions about these things.

If you like the nanny's child that is a good sign, I think.

I interviewed a nanny with her own child a while ago, if she had not brought her child I would have seriously considered her but her little girl was the same age as my son and still had a dummy and a bottle and was put to sleep wherever she fell asleep. I would not care less about a friend doing these things with her daughter but in looking for a childcare professional it put me off.

Maybe what I really like about my nanny was there our parenting was similar, and we could relate to each other about food, general parenting etc. We were definitely quite similar in alot of things, so I think this did help.

I am a nanny with own child. My ds was 2.5 when I started working with my current family so a bit older than your potential nanny's child sounds.
I was more than happy to do things like provide buggy board, rearrange ds's routine, and arrange childcare for him if there's something my charges would like to do that ds can't be involved in. For instance swimming, I have three children to look after but can only take two swimming, so ds would need to stay at home.
Also, does she have arrangements in place for if her dc is sick? My emergency childcare is very flexible so I have yet to need to take a day off for ds being sick.
Is she willing to compromise on her child doing activities she wants her to do? My ds does a drama class once a week and it's simply not feasible for me to take my charges along and make them wait while ds does his class so someone else takes him. He enjoys himself, but I miss watching his class.
Also what about when both children get older? I currently have one charge in school, and my ds is now preschool aged. I have opted not to send him to preschool but what if nanny wants to send her dd to a different school/preschool?

The pros are that my youngest charge has a constant playmate who is also slightly older so it encourages her development. I am always providing new activities and experiences for the children in my care. As a nanny I have a duty of care, but being a mother gives me that little extra incentive. I am paid a below average wage for my area, but in turn I don't have childcare costs of my own.

Thank you all.

The nanny doesn't attend any activities aimed at her DC in her current role - she focuses on her "charges", so I think she'd be happy to do the activities for our DC although there would probably be a lot of overlap.

I haven't discussed sick cover or what happens when they get older - I'm new to all this so this is all really useful stuff!!

I think the playmate would be great - already I see DS copying older kids and he loves them. Not sure about her parenting style - she's a bit more flexible than I am but that could be because she's had to be as she took her DC back to work at 2 months.

This has all given me a lot to think about now. I do like her and she has good experience!

Go for it if it makes you comfortable. Just remember she won't get any sicker than a nanny without a child, we all get sick, she wont be the exception. Chances are she will work a bit harder, or even work whilst sick (as she still has to be a mum regardless of how she feels).

I think a nanny with own child is more empathetic to you as a Mum, until you've actually had your own child you don't really understand the full ins and outs of the feelings that mothers experience towards their own children.

I think the nanny is more likely to view the job as long term - it can be harder to find a job when you have your own child and you also want continuity for your own child and not to be chopping and changing jobs.