CM CLUB - any tips for helping VERY heavy handed toddler be more gentle?

[looneytune]

Hi everyone

I have a 3 and half year old mindee who I've had since she was 8 weeks old. Love her to pieces and all that but I'm getting desperate now with trying to help her be more gentle.

She's always been very heavy handed, she really doesn't mean to hurt people/break things, she's trying to be gentle - for example....when playing hairdressers and pulling my hair out she asks if it's ok/doesn't hurt. She's very bright, been communicating very well from an early age so we've talked about how to be gentle/careful etc. for the last 2 (approx) years.

Now she's getting bigger (she's always been big for her age), it's becoming more of a problem with regular breakages, me covered in bruises from being used as a climbing frame etc. I'm still trying to stop her strangling me with her cuddles (I love the cuddles, just not the launching at me ). Other children get hurt by accident on occasion, never intended. She also has a problem with spacial awareness.

Anyway, I've done the arranging activities where she can be full on with her hands (gloop with food stuff in etc. which she LOVES to squish really hard). I've done the explanation about hurting, being careful etc.

Is there any magic tip that I haven't thought of? ANY advice would be fab!

I'm trying to think of something she can play with which is very fragile, but OK for her to break, so she can practice, but I can't at the moment.

I might be back. Other than that holding her hand gently and tightly, to see if she can feel the difference (and similar activities - obviously without hurting her).

I say 'steady' a LOT

It's not as negative saying No and it gives the child time to think; children that age are still so so impulsive

Duplo ( I think too young for lego?) and magnetic trains are great for connecting/disconnecting. Spaghetti for snapping; breadsticks/carrot sticks are good for this too.

It is a stage, as the child becomes more self aware they tail off with the heavy hands

OH ! wrt climbing on you, I say careful or you'll have to get down - then pop her on the floor and move away if she carries on clambering roughly

HTH Loony; I may be back with more thoughts later x x x

spaghetti boys - that's what I was trying to think of

heh heh

One of mine was going through a connection/disconnection thing a few months ago and that was a great hit

thread here

bump!! difficult one..

BUT shes bright and 3 and a half so if the message isnt getting through then she may not really be taking it seriously enough.

I would be inclined to be very serious faced with her when she is overtly rough and remove her from play situation...

are parents on board as well? be a shame if she is such a sweetie and starts school behaving like this as friends will be few and far between.. could she understand that concept? difficult one as sure you have tried all the usual tactics...