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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Mum of ex mindee keeps digging at my DS all the time and really upsetting me

7 replies

star1976 · 22/07/2010 11:16

Sorry but just so upset about the actions of one parent and I don't know whether to just cut all ties with her, well as much as possible, or if I am being over sensitive.

Looked after this girl for almost 3 years, from her being 11 months and my son being 9 months. The kids have always been really close whilst I was minding her, and they have now just finished a year at the school nursery together and start in reception class together in September.

The mum and I have always got on really well, and she wanted me to have her second child when she went back to work (maternity leave being the only reason he first child left my setting). She then got made redundant so this hasn't happened, but we often go out on days out with the kids together and round each others houses for the kids to play.

But recently I feel like all she does is make little digs constantly about my son. About him being spoilt to start with, getting his own way all the time (no more than any other child and certainly no more than her daughter), and today she ripped the shit out of a costume I made him for his last day of nursery party.

This probably sounds really petty but I just can't stand the fact that I feel I have to constantly defend him to her. He went round to their house after nursery a few weeks ago and when it got to dinner time DS changed his mind and wanted to come home. She was so nasty about it cause she had already cooked his dinner, and I understand she may be a bit peeved, but he is 4 years old. If he wants to change his mind and go home to his mum then so what!!! I know for a fact that if it was her DS in that situation she wouldn't have hesitated in going straight right for her.

Sorry I have rambled on, am I being over sensitive or is she just being a bitch???

OP posts:
colditz · 22/07/2010 11:18

Cut contact. you don't have to spend time with her so don't.

pippin26 · 22/07/2010 12:27

do you really need this person in your life?
to what purposes is she being a friend?

She is not a friend, if she had a problem with you or your son, a true friend would approach you about it. She is being nasty.

Stop being sensitive about it and ditch this negative and useless energy. People like this take a perverse pleasure in dragging other people down because there is something wrong in their life.

Sounds like this woman needs to grow up - its not primary school playground antics anymore, its adult time.
I got rid of my strangely-competitive, one- upmanship, something-wrong-with-your-kids and mine-are-angels-and-perfect toxic 'friend' and boy did my life improve.

bigdonna · 22/07/2010 20:51

she sounds like shes jealous of your son.dont let her upset him!!

vInTaGeVioLeT · 24/07/2010 01:12

you know what - the woman sounds a first class bitch - dump her! The kids'll still see plenty off each other at school.

thebody · 25/07/2010 01:32

age old sitution,,, just because your kids get on doesnt mean you have to...you move on and let your son pick and choose his friends and you pick yours.. good luck..

Ripeberry · 25/07/2010 11:25

Is she still not working? Maybe she is jealous of your success and how nice your son is?
Just don't be friends with her....end of.

star1976 · 02/08/2010 10:56

Thanks! Am finding it much easier to keep our distance now that it is the holidays. Cause I have lots of older kids here she is not inviting us round which is good!!!

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