advice please (Long sorry)

[worriedcm]

Have name changed for this

Can anybody give me any advice on what to do. I have a mum I provide care for to her dd aged 8 and her ds aged 3. I am getting quite annoyed as she is so disorganised and often changes who will collect her dc's. Her ds attends pre-school in the mornings and I used to collect him every day her dd had an inset day and when I asked if I had both children I was told her mum would be looking after them. I did not therefore turn up to collect her ds and got angry phone call from the mother half an hour later after he should have been collected asking why I had not collected him I reminded her of our conversation and she claimed she had said I still needed to collect her ds just not her dd. I had been with my assistant when I received the phone call so had a witness but it still upset me that she bad mouthed me at the pre-school. The pre-school know me and have seen the level of care I have given over the last 7 years so knew it was unfounded. Two weeks ago I turned up to collect her dd from school only to be told it was inset and her dd was obviously not there. I had had a pretty traumatic day as I had sick child with me who I could have had collected if I had not had to go out specifically to collect this child. Today I have received a phone call from the school asking why I have not collected the dd. I explained that mum had told me I was not to collect and nan was to collect her. The school have rung the pre-school looking for me who contacted me and asked what was going on. I have contacted both the school and the pre-school and explained the situation but I feel so disheartened as I feel it is ruining my good reputation. What would you do?

Firstly you need to start getting arrangements in writing. This sounds like the mothers organisational issue not yours.

Do school and preschool have your number as an emergency contact so if her dd or ds don't get collected they can contact you and you can explain what the arrangement was?

no they do not have me as emergency contact as mother does not provide my details to them pre-school has my number as my son attends in the afternoons. They are leaving me next week but I am annoyed her disorganisation seems to be affecting my reputation

Tbh I would just explain to the school and preschool that in the handover there must have been some miscommunication and you're really sorry if that's affected them, you're going to get the mother to put stuff in writing in future and it's messing you around as much as them.

VLF my worry with that is I know it is not my error. I have helped the school find emergency contacts for the dd today but it is so frustrating as it makes me look unprofessional

It doesn't. Honestly. It makes the mother look scatty if she's told you one thing, changed her mind, told someone else something else and forgotten to tell you that's it's business as usual/something's changed.

Don't apologise for something you know isn't your fault smile, be helpful, be professional just as you're doing but you can only work with the info you're given.

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