Forceps or CS?

[lovingpickles]

I had an awful forceps delivery due to baby getting stuck (posterior) which resulted in a very long recovery (lots of problems with episiotomy scar). Am pg again and am considering requesting an elective CS to avoid going through the same thing again (unlikely, I know, but worried about a complicated vaginal birth generally). Has anyone had both forceps and ELCS and if so which was "better"? ie. would I be making a bad decision to request ELCS?

I had an elcs 4 weeks ago today - see the thread on those having an elcs following a traumatic birth in this childbirth section for details.

In short:

DD birth 20 months ago - stuck head sideways in birth canal, traumatic labour, pain relief refused and gas and air removed, mistakes by mw on DD's position, DD's heartrate crashed, rushed to theatre for emergency rotational forceps. Bladder totally traumatised and didn't work at all after birth. Saw urogynae consultant until 6 months post birth and regained most control though still have occasional bouts of urge incontinence and probable post menopause issues. Saw gynae again at 7 months post birth due to vaginal pain. Many internal and external tears and episiotomy, very slow painful recovery. Saw physio for pelvic floor help until 10 months post birth.

DS birth 4 weeks ago - elcs. Enjoyed his arrival. Soreness and stiffness across tummy for a few days initially, but no serious pain at all from surgery. Have been taking it easy (no lifting toddler at home - got family to stay and help) but feel really good. Am going to see physio to get pelvic floor really good again but bladder has coped really well with pregnancy/birth, no problems with scar area at all and can't believe how much easier this was than my forceps birth.

I felt an uncomplicated vb would be ideal but unlikely for me given I'd done all the right things position wise for DC1 and it hadn't worked. I decided another emergency birth was a far worse prospect than a planned section, and the latter offered me more protection longterm for my health (bladder and pelvic floor especially). I knew I would have huge regrets if I tried for a vb and DC2 was also oxygen deprived and didn't come through ok as DD did. It's a weighing of risks and the unknown, but I also knew that if DC2 got stuck forceps might be better for him than an emcs so I couldn't have said 'no forceps' and more damage in that way would have been devastating for me given the ongoing issues I am managing already.