Non exsistant anti natal care

[LauraTil]

Why do British women no longer receive post natal care? From the 40's until the 1980's women had a choice of short or long stay in hospital after child birth. My mother was offered a lot of help with her three births and hospital was a santuary to recover and bond with all of her three daughters. She is now a grandmother to five is is horrified at how her three daughters have been immediately discharged without adequate care or follow up. Is there anyone else out there with strong views on this?

I have never had a midwife visit every day for ten days.

When DD was a week old, the midwife said, Oh you don't need a visit over the weekend, do you?

DS1 was in hospital, DH was staying with him, in a terrible state because DS1 had had an accident, he would be scarred for life and DH felt responsible. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I knew nobody where we lived, no family were planning to visit, and had just had a CS so couldn't drive. I thought - so how bad do things actually have to BE for you to get the postnatal care that you are supposed to have?

Of course I should have said all the above to the midwife, and she would have come over the weekend. But I was postnatal, and in a state and so I just stared and mumbled and when she had gone cried and cried and I have never forgotten it.

I stayed in for 4 days with DD1(14) and was made to feel welcome. I was listened to, offered advice and i never felt in anyones way.Sadly now shut
DS1(11) I stayed 2 nights as I missed my daughter, again I felt welcome as above. This hospital is now a birth centre with all natural birthing methods and very friendly.
DD2(2) Stayed 2 nights as dd was not blood sugar checked at birth due to night MW being useless. I was begging to get home to other DC's. Felt very ignored. Other people who have had babies here have signed out ASAP as the ante-natal wards are awful and you are often looked on as just taking up a bed.

It's all to do with MW(and nurse) shortages, some are lovely and will take time out to chat but others do as little as possible for the patients.

I did find once home I got good care though.

Same here. My sister who had her dcs 30 years before me, was horrified at the lack of care I received.

No midwife visits here. The HV visited once a fortnight for an appointment which lasted maybe 5 minutes and involved ds being weighed and a breezy "Any problems? No. Good. Bye"

Our local cowman told me my DS had thrush in his mouth and suggested that if feeding him was painful, then I should get a GP's appointment because we both probably needed treatment.

It comes down to money like everything else.

To be fair, the maternity unit (Salisbury) which is old and tatty, offered brilliant care and they were with me every second of the 30ish hour labour. And I was allowed to stay two nights to recover.

We have a local hospital you can stay forever in. You can even transfer after you have been discharged from "proper" hospital. Drives me insane! If people are well enough to be discharged , then they should be discharged (LauraTil - if someone can't walk or lift the baby, then I don't think they're well enough to be discharged). I didn't think I paid tax to provide some sort of rest and retreat facility for new mothers. Medical treatment - fine. Some "respite" where someone else cooks and makes cups of tea - spend the money on cancer drugs, or something else important.

The thing is, I think there is no standard care - it's every man and hospital for themselves. I straddle two hospital areas and seem to get the worst of both - and one may visit postnatally at weekends whereas the other doesn't. I didn't find out about a weekend ante-natal and post natal walk in type clinic one ran until it was too late to use it (well, I was 40 weeks when they told me and hadn't been able to access my "two hours on a wednesday morning MW)If I lived a few miles down the road my ante natal care could have been done at home (I had massive problems getting care) - it should be standard throughout the UK that X Y Z happens, not 'postcode lottery'. I cannot quite believe there isn't proper breastfeeding support that is standard, not just if you are lucky enough to know about LLL etc. I cannot believe MWs and HVs are not kept up to date and up to scratch, I mean I was giving water in a bottle to a newborn FGS because I was told to. No matter what MW/HV etc you get, the hospital you go to, there should be a certain standard of care and training etc.

My local birth centre was lovely. I stayed three nights after the birth for postnatal care and feel lucky that I was really well looked after, I really didn't want to leave. They only have five beds and the staff had loads of time to help with things like bathing, breastfeeding and other stuff you don't have a clue how to do with your first baby. If you've had a caesarean, you can transfer for postnatal care and stay for up to a week.

In contrast, when I went home (20 miles from the birth centre and in a different NHS area), I only received 3 midwife visits in the first 10 days. I'm so grateful I had the help I did during those 3 nights at the birth centre or I can honestly say I wouldn't have continued breastfeeding. It would have been such a struggle dealing with a newborn.

Birth centres don't seem to be promoted very much and are often in quite rural locations. I think it's worth researching what's available nearby. It's not always the case that you have to go to a big, busy city hospital.

At the Midwife Led Unit (birth centre?) where I started labour with dd1 and 2, you were only allowed to stay one night, which wouldn't have been much of a problem, as only 'straightforward' labours were allowed there - I had to be transferred to a labour ward both times.

I think that MLU can be great, but it does seem a shame that the best facilities (the ward there was amazing, the MW's were all a lot more b'feeding friendly, there were better facilities for partners etc) were only available to the people who had the least traumatic births.

I felt totally abandoned after my birth (keillands forceps delivery, DD battered and cut as a result). I was told I would not get help when I asked for assistance to get out of bed (so I wouldn't bleed all over the floor in front of the other women on the ward). The morphine they'd packed up my backside hadn't really worn off when they discharged me 24 hrs later and when it did it felt like I was dying, the pain was horrific. DD wasn't feeding, my milk didn't come in until day 6. DD was hospitalised and discharged on the condition the community midwife visited. When they didn't turn up the person on the end of the phone told me to go to A&E (in the hospital they'd discharged her from )if I was worried. And in all that time I got ONE home visit by a midwife and only then because I pleaded with her. The HV turned up when DD was 3 months old.

I had no recovery time because every day for 2 weeks after DD was born we were at some kind of medical establishment trying to get help. I still feel sick at the thought of sitting on hard waiting room chairs - I should have been in bed ffs!

Mentally I still have not recovered and although the birth was traumatic and I still get pain from the episiotomy site, the thing putting me off having any more children is the way I felt in the first 2-3 weeks after her birth. I spoke to my HV who basically said "don't let it put you off" Helpful.

You poor thing, you've had a terrible time, how old is your baby now?

herethere so to hear your story. What a horrendous experience for you and your baby. Have you thought of complaining about your treatment?

DD is 8 months old. Not really sure where to begin with the complaining as there's so many elements to what happened. I'm more keen to try to sort out my head over the whole thing.

Its affecting my relationship, I can't even think about...ahem...sex without getting flashbacks of that seering episiotomy pain I had for a month and that hollow empty emotionless state I was in for a fortnight.

The midwife who saw me before DD was hospitalised thought I may be anaemic due to blood loss (I had blue-ish lips and the pads of my fingers were completely white) and was told to go for an iron test at the Dr, but with all the problems with DD (and thr thought of another waiting room) my health went on the back burner. Might go some way to explaining why I felt like sh*t.

I just feel so awful about the whole thing. I remember being constantly asked by the people we saw (midwives at clinics and a bf counsellor) about how I was "coping" and after a couple of weeks if I was "coping better". It wasn't about coping it was about feeling utterly ill in a way I can't even put into words.

I'm not the only one, another girl from my NCT group ended up on anti-depressants after similar neglect and utter unhelpfulness when she struggled and eventually failed to breastfeed due to unbearable nipple pain.

Anyway I'm really waffling on now and I feel like I've hijacked the OP's thread sorry.

I had an awful time and was advised to go through the hospital councilling service, but didn't take it further, also didn't want to bring every thing up, I just wanted to get on with the future. A year later I have healed, forgotten, and just happy with my lovely baby. I think it's sad that there is no care for some that really need help, as not every one has families close at hand. It seems like it is a postcode lottery and some get the care and some get nothing.

Sorry Post

I had a rotten time with dc1 in hospital - the 'care' was atrocious, but the postnatal care at home was very good. I think my mw recognised we were struggling and came every day initially and certainly up to the 21 days post partum. The HV, although not much practical use, was friendly and accessible.

I also had some follow-up at the hospital but felt their goal was to get me off their books asap... which is why with the arrival of dc3 imminent I am booked in for a c-section and post delivery appt at a specialist hospital 100 miles away to address what they didn't first time round.