help needed re traumatised by ventouse

[littlesez]

Hi, I really need some help and support. I have a beautiful 16 month old girl who is just amazing, but I am STILL upset about her delivery.

I had a lovely labour at home for 2 days, had my mum and hubby looking after me. I had a good experience all round. After 56 hours though midwives suggested I should go into hospital. Even though my dream of a homebirth was shattered I was ok

I am suffering so badly with the ventouse delivery. I wasn't the hand held one (like a plunger) It was the machine like a fucking vacuum, i can still hear the noise its making me cry right now

I have had psychotherapy, debrief with consultant, debreif with community midwife, anti-depressents, self care (for depression) and CBT

Hypnotherapy is another option, i have some nhs counselling to go to soon.

Please help me someone, I feel desperate I feel like it has been so long I will never get better.

I have issues with tampons, smear tests and my sex life has been affected too Is there any hope for me or shall I accept I have to feel bad about it forever, struggling to imagine being able to have another baby because of all this .

sorry I sound so moany but it really hurts

Hi littlesez,

I'm so sorry to hear how traumatised you have been by this. Take a look at this website - maybe you could consider getting in touch with them to talk things through? www.sheilakitzinger.com/BirthCrisis.htm

Best of luck with everything and take care

Thanks for the link much appreciated

so sorry to hear you are still struggling with the birth of your dd. In terms of your physical problems, have you spoken to your gp? I'm sure they can refer you to a gynae who will be able to help repair any damage. Often small day procedures like removing scar tissue can make a huge difference. I know, I suffered problems after my third degree tear.

Emotionally, it will take time to heal. I'd say it took me about 2 years to get over the traumatic birth of my dd. It sounds like you have explored all the options in terms of counselling, debriefing etc. Sometimes it really is true what they say about time being a great healer

Thanks ohsurelynot. No physical problems they are all emotional scars. I hope time helps like you say, thanks for your support

Hi littlesez,I'm so sorry to hear of your experience. I had the same ventouse as you and can remember how shocked I was by it after being told at NCT classes to expect nothing more scary than a sink plunger.

I can highly recommend the birth trauma association

They gave me some fantastic advice which helped me to get an elective c-section for my second birth two days ago which was a really wonderful experience. I am sure they will be able to provide you with some practical and emotional support.

Please don't feel you are suffering alone, what you are feeling is normal and can be worked through xx

withirwithoutyou

so glad you had a nice experience this time and how lovely your'll be having newborn snuggles right now

I kept hearing about people with ventouse and saw it on OBEM and it was the plunger one I have only heard a handful of people have the machine. I had a few issues surrounding the birth but this is the only thing that is still troubling me after all this time, the bloody machine! urrghhh

thanks for the link xxx