Am I being stupid

[crazyh]

im 26 weeks gone and have already started to think about what I want to happen when im in labour- draft birth plan written already [hmmm]. Do you think im being stupid by only wanting gas and air, this is my first child, and for some reason I am not particually worried or scared about the birth, I have always had a high pain thresh-hold, though I understand this doesnt actually mean anything when it comes to giving birth, but I really want to be in control of everything, I want to be mobile right untill the last minute, and am determined to not have an epidural, again due to the control thing, I want to know myself when to push, when im having a contraction.
Do you think im expecting too much out of myself, I know it isnt going to be easy, and that anything can happen during labour but I would like to give it a go my way first (would never ignore medical advice btw). My family think ive gone a bit mad lol, pplease tell me theres other first timers out there feeling the same

lol erm the smiley didnt work

I don't think pain thresholds have anything to do with it. I know a couple of women who have told me they have high pain thresholds but still needed epidurals during labour. And of course there is nothing wrong in needing pain relief.

I think in general most people's pain thresholds are similar, but factors that influence it are the length of labour, how well you are supported, and how scared you are.

Have you considered a home birth/ water birth?

Oh and I wouldn't tell anyone you don't want an epidural, as that will put pressure on you to 'perform' without an epidural, and there are some people who will gloat if you do end up needing an epidural.

Nope that's how I felt about my first birth, because I had a fear of episiotimys and forceps/ventouse I wanted to avoid epidurals. I did Marie Mongan hypnobirthing and managed to get to 8cms with nothing but paracetamol and haribo (at that point I arrived at hospital and was rushed to c-section due to presentation).
I think it's important that

1. you have supportive birth partner who knows what you want and your limits
2. you have techniques in place for dealing with the pain during labour (even tho some hypnobirthing people will tell you it doesn't have to be painfully it was for me!)
3. you have practised your techniques
4. you don't pin everything on you having a natural, drug-free birth. Things can and do go slightly awry/wrong and you have not failed if you do have an epidural/c-section.

I know fantastic hynobirthing teacher if you are in Surrey area.

I think you can do a halfway house here. Write in your birth plan that you want to try to labour without epidural, unless things get too bad.

I wrote something like: "would like to try with only TENS and gas, would consider epidural if needed, but do not want pethidine"

and ended up doing my first labour on the TENS and gas as preferred and it wasn't all that bad; I didn't really panic at all

(mind you, I still tore badly and had an episiotomy, so not having an epidural is no guarantee of that)

my second labour ended in an emergency caesarian (baby in distress) so never had the chance to repeat it, but expect I would have

I think your hopes sound very reasonable and entirely possible.

By remaining active, undrugged, calm and listening to your bodies cues you give your body the very best chance to do what is is designed to do - and women have been doing forever - give birth!!!

It is a natural process.

I had hopes like you for my first birth and it was reaslised. Stunning water birth in hossy, under 3 hours, softr lights, no intervention whatsoever. Next child I repeated this - but at home. I am due again this week and am really looking forward to the birth, again at home in water.

Reading Ina May Gaskin or Janrt Balaskas will reassure you that you aren't alone and that everything you have written makes sense.

Of course there are occassions where mum and baby need a little help due to genuine medical reasons - and if it comes to it when you have given your body the best natural chance then so be it. But the natural approach is the way to go first in my book.

Trust your body, trust birth, it is simply amazing.

Julie x

Sorry - should read Janet Balaskas "Active Birth".

Hi crazyh - I feel exactly the same about labour and it doesn't help with my mum (who's had three babies without epidural and is a nurse) saying every so often 'I don't know how you're going to cope' - thanks mum very reassuring!

DP is supportive though and I'm going for trying an active labour first stage, then getting in the pool later on. I have heard horror stories (and some good ones) about epidurals and I really hate being out of control too so don't want one. However, I'm going to write that these are all things I would prefer and probably when contractions hit I'll be shouting for the pethidine! Am hoping for otherwise though and to stay strong. Reading a book by Juju Sundin - Birth Skills: Proven Pain-management Techniques for Your Labour and Birth, it is definitely worth a read.

Good luck!

well done crazyh,, try to stick with what you really want during Labour. . but it doesnt always go according to plan. . .I have had three and they were all different. Best of luck. !!

I had a 42hr labour with first baby and during that time my pain control methods were a mix of entonox, TENS and meditation. I never had an epidural, so when it became apparent I needed a CS (baby stuck in bad position,) I had a spinal block instead. I am due again in 10 weeks, and intend to use much the same as before, but hopefully in a pool this time too. I had a bad injury to my knee recently which left my kneecap exposed and the skin split over it, and it needed flushing out to clean it and then stitching. I used the same meditation techniques while the cleaning and local anaesthetic application were all done and the doctor and nurse who attended me were surprised that I was able to just close my eyes and sit still without a sound through the whole thing as they would normally expect a lot of squirming and moaning. The mind is a very powerful thing, and it is not at all unreasonable to expect not to need an epidural for labour. However, it is also important to allow your mind an escape route too, and for this I did not completely exclude the idea of an epidural - it can be a comfort to the mind to know that there is a huge array of options available for pain control, even if you would prefer not to use all of them.

Thanks all, I have spoke to DP about this, and even though he is probably more scared about it than me he is being very supportive. I have said to him that it is only what I want and it could go anyway, I understand the unpredictability of it all with my older sister's labours all being very quick and no time for pain relief when she was determined to have an epidural.
I am making sure I have my mum there aswell as my DP, for support for him aswell as me, the way he talks about it at the moment he really doesnt know how too cope with me being in that much pain, have told him when the time comes, im sure he will be able to concentrate on whats best for and what I want, and it hopefully wont freak him out too much
P.S. Stacies birth on eastenders last night really didnt help matters, have told him if I tell him to go away, he best not bloody listen to me lol.

You do need a spokesman . . .someone to speak for you . . . i have had 3 children and for the 2nd baby my Ex dh wasnt even there. . . he was unsupportive and missed the birth by an hour. . .i laboured on my own and suffered badly because of it. . .i needed him there to say firmly, "She needs and wants an epidural and we want it now !" . . .I was given an epidural which i badly planned to have. .I had gas and air which i didnt use properly , got into a panic and the pain was bad. My last birth was the best. . my DP was supportive, told me when the contractions were coming and told me to take in the Gas and Air now IYSWIM. . It was the best birth of the lot. i.e. less painful. Plus, i got my epidural which i was so scared i wouldnt get.

i thought the same with DD1 wanted to it all natural but a was totally open to the fact i may need pain relief, in the end i ended up going 13 days over and being induced, then drip, had pethedine and epidural, and cut and tore!(only 12 hrs tho)used a tens for 7 hours before epidural, nothing went to plan, however bad it sounds it really wasnt and healed really quickly and got my legs back quite quickly too,

DD2 was all natural and 6.5 hrs, the first thing i apparently said to DP is 'next time i want an epidural!' DP was great during both births and i think its so important to have a great birth partner, i would try again without epidural but DO NOT regret it with my first

I completely agree with mongogerry I had a good experience at home in a birth pool, no other pain relief needed, although was short too which helped. I had hoped for this, and by believing in my ability as a woman to do this and with the help of being relaxed at home I think this is what made it possible for me. I am due in 6 weeks time with no2 and hope everything will go just as well the second time around.

I did write a birth plan, which hasn't changed for this birth, which was realistic. I had 3 sections to it which were...
1)In an ideal world
2)If I had to be in hospital
3)Induction/C-section

Also as far as other peoples opinions are conserned, it is there opinion, only you know what is right for you at the time. However I think you need to be a little open minded, and talk yourself into the fact that if you need further help you shouldn't feel bad about that.

I think it's very positive to have thought it all through and planned for what you would like to do. There aren't any 100% guarantees (I had to have CSection with dc2 for example) but I believe if you start out with a concept of what you definitely do/don't want, then it's a helpful framework.

It's a shame that some people are making you feel anxious about having a first birth on gas and air, but you have to remember that people's comments are coloured by their own agenda... maybe they had a very medicalised birth and were disappointed. I had a similar thing, in that when I booked into a MLU for my first baby,(so no epidural available even if I'd screamed for one!) the doom and gloom merchants said 'Gosh how brave!' 'I wouldn't consider that for a first baby' ' How will you manage' etc but it was absolutely fine. I didn't even go into it feeling I had a particularly high pain threshold, but I was anti-intervention for my baby, and I wanted the birth to be a natural experience.

Have confidence in your body and your decision - don't listen to anyone else!

I'm nearly 37wks with my first.

If my birth is as easy as Stacie in Eastenders I'll be over the moon!!!

Your birth plan is just that, a plan. You can have whatever you like on it. As long as you're prepared to be flexible as situations change I'm sure you'll be fine.

The honest answer is it's just the luck of the draw, every labour is different. It may be realised, it may not. I got to 9cm with nothing at all and was fine but then was at 9cm for 16 hours with a stuck baby and had everything going. The drugs/ epidural saved me from exhaustion, nothing to do with pain, purely was tired out by days of labour. Gave me a sleep.

Hi, i think having an idea of what you would like is fine, but the idea that a birth can actually be planned is a bit bizarre to me.

I was due to have a home birth but had decided to be flexible and take things as they went. The only plan i had was to have a healthy baby and come out ok the other side and do whatever it took inbetween to achieve this.

I had an epidural in hospital after a very long labour and i must say that it was really good, i could move about, go to the loo on my own, drink cups of tea and chat to the midwives. I did feel the actual birth but it wasn't excrutiating and i do not regret it at all.

Don't set your self up for 'failure' by being too rigid in your plan iyswim.

i thought i'd be a complete wuss when it came to childbirth, thought i'd be asking for an epidural at 1cm but with dc1 i had hgas and air and pethadine - felt totally out of it and cant remember to much about the birth. with dc2 had hospital birth but asked for the gas and air so late all i did was bite on the mouth piece and with dc3 she came at home before anyone arrived to help so again all natural. didnt think for one minute i could go natural but did it twice and have to be honest, it wasnt really painful and i'd do it again in a heatbeat. everyone is different and it depends on the length of labour, i was lucky and had very quick labours which i am sure helped me to had natural childbirth. if you have been in labour hours on end etc, your going to be tired and not as well prepared. its called labour for a reason - its bloody hard work!! no one goes to the dentist and has a tooth pulled with pain relief so why are women " expected " to give birth without?? have a very loose outline of a birth plan. dont set yourself up for disapointment.

You don't sound mad at all crazyh. To me, you sound perfectly realistic and I think going in to birth with a positive attitude does actually help.

Have you considered a homebirth? If your pregnancy has been fine, you sound like an ideal candidate and you'd get the control you want.

Good luck!

No, your not mad at all. I gave birth 12 weeks ago and my birth plan was very similar to yours - I did not want an epidural or diamorphine. I wanted to only use gas and air and a tens machine. Poeple would laugh when I told them this as if I was crazy!

In the end I had to be induced and several MW's tried to convince me to have an epidural. I was advised that my original plan should change as my birth was no longer natural. I stuck to my guns with the epidural but ended up asking for diamorphine, which took the edge off of the contractions. The tens machine, IMO, was fantastic. I wanted to stay mobile, like you, and found the birthing ball to be great. My baby's heart had to be continuously monitored because I was induced and the monitor was attached to her head to allow me to stay mobile.

In the end I had to have an emergency C-section so was given a spinal.

Think you just have to keep an open mind, which you sound like you are doing. Don't feel pressurised into anything unless its for a medical reason. You know your own body and you will know how well you are coping during labour. Yes its sore, but IMO, its bearable. I may sound mad, but I loved the whole labour experience.