Think I want to try for a homebirth - need advice

[JamieJay]

Following on from this this thread I have been discussing the birth with DH and we're both very keen to explore a homebirth.

It is my first birth so homebirth could be seen as irresponsible but pregnancy is low risk and we live 10 minutes away from a major hospital so transfer would be easy if it came to that.

I'm under community midwife care, looking at GP's website today I saw this statement for the first time:

A team of midwives support the doctors in providing antenatal care. The practice does not participate in home delivery but arrangements may be made locally with other practices

Given that I'm not due to see the midwife until 36 weeks I'm concerned that I've left it to late to discuss/arrange a homebirth (am 34+1).

Anyone able to advise how I should be going about requesting a homebirth and if I need to be pursuing it before my next appointment?? I have no way of contacting my midwives between appointments as everything is done through the MLU at the hospital so would either have to book an extra appointment with midwife or try and find someone at the MLU to discuss it on the phone!

Thanks

you're fine to leave it until your next appt.
you can request a homebirth at any point

I would speak to someone at the MLU, tell them that you're interested and see if they would like you to make another appointment.

I planned a homebirth with my DD (first child) (ended up transferring in, but still glad I tried) and the local mws made a home visit before 36 weeks just to check my home was suitable (no big deal, mostly just confirming ambulance access). They then dropped a box round at 36 weeks with some basic supplies so that they'd have some things to hand if needed. So I would try to give them as much notice as possible.

It sounds as though your GP surgery are not very supportive of homebirths- mine were exactly the same, and the mws suggested that I simply 'forgot' to tell them what I had planned. If it's the same as my area it's not anything to do with the GPs, so don't let them put you off.

Thanks both - think I'll take advise from both of you and phone the MLU to mention it and then just raise it at my next appointment.

Off to look at birthing pools and think about what I'm considering doing......

Good luck, shout if you have any more questions. I used 'La Bassine' inflatable birth pool, very similar to 'Birth Pool in a Box'.

Hi JamieJay,

I am hoping for a home water birth any time over this next week too - they are FAB!!!!!

I have booked in 3 home births now. They generally do this around 36 weeks and drop off the kit at 37 weeks. Before this you would go in incase baby needed breathing support etc, so there is no need to book you before then. However, you also have nothing to lose by mentioning it before then.

Water is amazing for pain relief, boyouncy, privacy and relaxtaion during birth. Great cchoice. I have used a hossy birthing pool (rigid) and a Birth Pool in a Box. The rigid pools hurt your knees to kneel in. This time I have an Aquaborn pool. There are deals on the premium package at the moment. Not sure if I am allowed to post you a link - so will just say google it.

Home birth is not irresponsible hun - you very very very rarely find an ill-informed home birth mummy. They are usually very well educated on the birth process, and trust birth and this is why they feel comfortable to stay at home. Afterall - if you change your mind at any point for any reason, hossy is 10 mins away.

Happy planning - my childrens births have been the best experiences of my life.

Julie x

Hi,

My DH and I only decided to plan for HB at 34 weeks and had first HB appointment at 36 weeks. My hospital is very supportive of HB and have a HB team of 5 MW who also make themselves available to meet every Wednesday at local cafe in the park!

Had a trial run of my birth pool in a box on the weekend which was fab, it took 2 hours from start to finish to set up and I relaxed in it for 90 mins - bliss.

We have decided to be selective about who will tell and even then have found a lot of ill informed people who think we are 'nutters'! But I have done loads of research and my gut instinct tells me this is right.

Good luck and as already has been mentioned you can change your mind at any point and opt for hospital birth after planning for HB but you can't do it the other way around so easily.

Hi JamieJay, it's never too late to book a homebirth. In my area the community MW's were really supportive and it's the best decision I made! The GPs don't really need to be on board anyway. Their only input was for the newborn check - and I guess they would make alternative arrangements for you. The homebirth UK website is really helpful with homebirth statistics etc. WRT it being your first - first labours are often slower and longer, so more time to detect difficulties - no reason to deem that irresponsible at atll. HTH.

Thanks for all the kind words, it's nice to hear people say that homebirths aren't irresponsible mungogerry, only mentioned it to a couple of people and so far most have thought me mad.

It does seem to be the norm in this country to go straight to hospital for a 1st birth........

Am definately interested in using a pool - just need to figure out where to fit it!

Think I will focus on reading up and make sure I know what I'm going to say at my next appointment - thankfully I know that the midwife at the alternate surgery is keen on homebirths as she was the one who raised it at my booking in appointment

hippopo how brilliant to have a dedicated team of HB midwives. I recently had ds2 at home which was an amazing experience - so glad I did it. It would have been even better to have met either of the midwives beforehand.

OP birthing ball was great for me. I also had dh wrap mattress in shower curtains (v cheap from homebase) then old sheets that we just binned afterwards.

Hope you have a great birth

I had an amazing home birth for my 1st child and am planning it again for my second (currently 34 weeks). The comunity midwives here in Somerset are very supportive, and although are attached to a Doctors surgery, seem to be an entity to themselves.

I was also called mad yet brave, especially for your 1st (why this makes any difference I don't know) and especially becase I live 20 miles from the hospital (this I do understand), but I knew it was the right decision for me and it couldn't have gone much better. I had a birth pool in a box which my Husband rushed to get blown up and filled in time, as I also had a short labour of 4 1/2 hours, which I put down to being so relaxed and having confidence in myself and the baby. The pool was all the pain relief I needed/had time for, and before the pool was ready I relaxed in the bath.

I am seeing my midwife tomorrow to go through the home birth review, then she will drop a little box of goodies next week. They give you a window of 37-42 weeks to be ALLOWED to be at home, but the truth is if you ring them and ssy your not going anywhere, it is their responsibility to come to you and help with the delivery. I was worried about a hospital being impersonal and clinical and intervention being too close to hand.

Being at home doesn't mean you will know who's going to be there to assist delivery though as it is who is on duty at the time you call. I had 2 midwives I had never met before, but you couldn't care less at the time.

Sorry I seem to have written an essay! Good luck, I hope you have a great home birth.

Thanks for the further stories, still keen on the idea of a homebirth but a little scared/unsure how to ask for it. No idea why really just seems that everyone (apart from DH!) assumes I will go to the hospital.

Daren't tell PILs what we are considering as FIL will never shut up about taking risks!!

Hi JamieJay. We've decided to ask for a HB and it's our first. I am 27 weeks and just rang the midwife (I can only ring on Thursdays as only time they are at the clinic) and she said she would deal with it in my next appointment when I am 30 weeks. DH and I still have loads of questions that we need answers to but our thinking is that we can always change our mind and go into hospital later.

I am also hesitant to broadcast our plans as this is such a personal decision. I am taking the attitude that I would prefer to give birth at home but if we end up in the hospital then so be it. Not the end of the world. Trying to be flexible so that I don't end up feeling like a failure if HB doesn't go to plan. I think it's a good approach given that 40% of first time mums transfer in. And that's if you make it to 37 weeks and don't go overdue, etc.

In any case, best of luck to you whatever you decide to do.

Your midwife is the second person (next to your partner) that you should be able to talk to about this.
Everyone else of course should be supportive too, but from my experience they aren't and do want to give you their opinions. My sister didn't want to know when I was in labour as she said she was too worried about what could go wrong, she just wanted to know when it was all over. This wasn't very helpful as I would have hoped to be able to talk to her about it more, but she was a closed book. This of course was down to her not so good birth experience, where she had twins 7 weeks early with pre eclampsia and an emergency c-section. Whereas I was only having 1 baby and had been very well throughout my pregnancy.
You might be right to not tell everyone.

My daughter was born at home, it was ace.
Here is my advice: if you get a pool, put it up in advance for a wallow (tell your DP it is for practical reasons, to check it works, that the lining fits, whatever) because it is so lovely, the time you spend in it will be the only time you are comfortable near the end of your pregnancy. No one told me to do this - I only put the pool up to give birth in and it was blissful - I wished I had done it sooner!

another massive advocate for homebirthing, especially for your first baby. We also decided pretty late, around 28 weeks but were told it couldn't be booked in til 36 weeks anyway. We changed midwife team at that point when it was officially booked in, it's never too late.

I had such a good experience I'm honestly now terrified of the thought of going into hospital for any future births.

And I second homebirthers being so far from irresponsible, we have to answer to so many more people than hospital birthers, it is not a decision taken into lightly at all.

look on homebirth.org website, it's a wealth of very informed information, good and bad stories, balanced views etc.

We were also told we were mad by many people (none of whom had ever been pregant or had partners pregnant so WTF do they know anyway)...and got into a few arguments post birth where I've been accused of being selfish but then compared labour stories and turns out my baby was the only one not then kept in for monitoring/under light/needed resuscitating etc

good luck!

I had what felt like an epiphany the other day when I was racking my brains as to why on earth I had decided it would be better to go to hospital for my dc1 despite having previously had fantasies of homebirth or even unassisted birth:

I remembered that I used to believe that going to hospital would not make any difference to the course of my labour - the only difference would be the slight discomfort of being in an alien environment, and that on the up side I would have access to more help if I needed it.

I literally had no realisation of any kind that:

1. Going to hospital would cause a big hiatus in my labour, slowing it down considerably
2. Being in an alien environment would make me tense and slow my labour down
3. Being in an alien environment would make me tense and make me experience more pain with contractions
4. I would be left with no midwife support for large periods of time if they were busy with more needy women. That this would make me more worried about what was happening and - you've guessed it - make me tense up still further
5. I would be advised to augment my labour with drugs and have an epidural with that despite baby and I coping fine with natural labour
6. I would be lead to have unnecessary interventions that almost certainly slowed my labour down by many hours (which is amusing because I think that was the last thing the busy maternity staff wanted to achieve!)

I just had my 34 week appointment and confirmed with the midwife then that I want a homebirth - they are coming to see me at home for my 36 week appointment. Like you I'm 10 minutes from hospital and don't feel I'm being in the slightest bit irresponsible.

I had a homebirth for my first, which went amazingly (although I did have a very long latent stage). No tear, BF-ing straight away, in our own bed snoozling with the baby within half an hour of placenta plopping out. Very different to how I imagine it would have been had I been in hospital.

Just had my second baby (2 weeks) ago and another fabulous homebirth. Much shorter labour this time around, which was nice, and again no tears or stitching, all wrapped up in bed with tea and toast within the hour.

It was an inspirational HB story on the homebirth.org website (where she was a first timer as well) that clinched the "should I / shouldn't I have my first at home?"... and also all the inspirational stories on these two threads here on Mumsnet:

First time homebirthers' thread part 1

First time homebirthers' thread part 2

And even if I it looks like I'm showing off, here is a little video of how lovely it can be (this was second birth, but similar to first time birth once established labour had kicked in... walking the dog the morning after I'd given birth!)

Homebirth video - no gory bits promise

Hope it goes well for you!

Oh boobz you have the same birth pool as I've been lent by a friend. I've yet to have a dip but it looks really comfy!

jamiejay I booked in for a HB with my first but was unsupported - the area was known for being very consultant-led and medicalised - and I was transferred for (as it turned out) poor reasons but there you go.

This time - I'm due in 3 weeks - I booked in for HB straight away (different area) and have been delighted with the MW's support. However, my care so far has been the same as if I'd been planned a hospital birth. The MW will be coming to my house next week with the kit - that's the only difference so far - so you've got time to organise it for sure.

It's already been said here several times, but I personally think it's madness to go into hospital for delivery unless you have a medical reason for it. At home you have one to one care throughout and you're more relaxed if you are happy with your decision to HB (obviously some people would be more relaxed in hospital, feeling they had better access to whatever, in which case a HB is not for them).

Sadly people just don't think about this, and it's quite offputting to have people say that you're nuts, or, almost worse, "aren't you brave!!!". FFS. Like you're taking this huuuge risk and braving dreadful things that could happen, as opposed to giving your baby a relaxed entry to the world and yourself the chance to labour and deliver in peace and in your own space. Not to mention you're then not stuck on a vile maternity ward with other scared and vulnerable mums, crying babies, etc etc - you can just snuggle down happily in your own bed. Wonderful.

Personally I think people are "brave" to go into hospital and face the unknown... unless they NEED to, or, unless they just would be scared to be away from what they perceive as valuable medical interventions. Obviously sometimes the interventions are lifesaving but often they cause more problems that they solve. If you live close enough to the hospital you can be transferred quickly enough if there's an emergency anyway, thus taking advantage of those interventions, and if you are at home you can't have stuff done to you that you don't need.

Good for you. Go for it and all the best.

Thanks for the further stories. Have my next appointment at 36+1 so going to request a homebirth then.

DH is going to come to the appointment as well so we can provide a united front and I don't have to remember all of his questions as well as my own!

Have also put some thought fitting everything in and with a little moving of furniture (something for DH to do ) we can fit a birthing pool and a single mattress in the sitting room so have somewhere to wallow and somewhere to lie/collapse whilst midwife sit on the sofa......