Not me my daughter

[rose1927]

Hi my 17 year old has just told us she is pregnant. My mother had a flat pelvic arch which caused her problems delivering. My sisters and I have all had big babies. I have a flat pelvic arch too. My first baby was 10lb and had a severe should dystocia taking 5 mins to free the shoulders and a further 4 mins to get him breathing. Thank fully he is now 19 and fine. My daughter who is pregnant also had sticky shoulders when she was born. By the time I got to the 3rd I had a section. Consultant said I had had the worst deliveries he has ever been to and he didnt want to see me again.

Should I mention this history to my very small pregnant daughter who is a size 4 weighs 7 stone and had 30in hips....or is that just worrying and already worried teenager. Do you think I could just tell her midwife when she gets one on the quiet?

I would suggest discussing it with her, but not just yet. She will have lots to get her head around. She will probably start asking questions about the delivery later on, and then you can gently tell her about the family history, making sure she knows it won't necessarily happen to her.

tbh I would hold back on mentioning anything to your DD yet until you reach the scan stage.

That sounds bloody awful by the way - that would scare me! Obviously I think the drs etc should be told, however let all the pregnancy news settle somewhat for a few weeks. No point in making her anxious unecessrily.

Look, you never know, she could take after the women on her Dad's side and have no trouble whatsoever. She should be made aware of the family history, of course but I wouldn't worry her about it just yet.

The size of your daughters hips bears no relation to the size or shape of her pelvic outlet. Think of the pelvis as a circle with a hole cut out the middle. Just because one circle is large and one is small does not mean the hole in the larger circle is bigger.

The shape of the pelvic outlet can be inherited however. It might be worth mentioning but will need a special scan to diagnose as far as I know, it won't be picked up by a routine ultrasound.

I'd leave it tillmuch later down the line tbh once she's fully digested what's about the happen and the impact that will have on her life.

But at size 4 and 7 stone - that's about the same as my 11 year old. How tall is she - sounds seriously underweight?

She is about 5ft 3, she hasn't a spare ounce on her, she does eat, not a good diet rubbish like most but she is fit. I am worried about her but I am trying to step back and not nag. Like everyone says she has enough to deal with at the moment. Thanks will take your advice and hold off for a while. thank you x

I think bearing all this in mind, the thing that jumps out is the pelvis issue. if the pelvis is more of a masculine shape, it can have an impact on the birth as it is not the best shape to allow the baby to descend .. i wonder if a scan can be done to look at this specific thing.. don't mention yet to your daughter, but it is certaibnly something you can discuss with her later on as it is something her caregivers should be aware of

Maybe not discuss with her YET but I think that not telling her and just telling her midwife is the height of patronising disempowerment tbh.