what is the point of a doula?

[EmmaKateWH]

I am just wondering what the point would be of me having a doula. I am happy to pay for one but not at all convinced there would by any benefit to it. I am planning to give birth in the hospital where my sister works as a doctor - she is going to be there, as is my husband. Both of them are very supportive and loving, and I know they will get me through it. I am quite capable of asserting myself with medical professionals, but in any event since my sister will be there I would think it unnecessary and inappropriate to have a doula talking to my midwifes etc as well. My sister will be able to deal easily with anything that arises. I know my husband will immediately do anything I ask as far as massaging, getting me things to drink, generally looking after me is concerned. We are both going to NCT classes and have read every childbirth book going so have some idea of what to expect. Do I really need a doula as well? With DH and sister there won't they be more of a nuisance than any help?

Don't have one then!

TBH the question is a bit meaningless because the 'point' will depend so much on the individual woman and her circumstances. Not everyone has a husband, not everyone has a sister who's a doctor, not everyone has your ability to assert themselves and so on. For some women their doula will be the only constant and familiar presence.

The point of a doula for me is the fact that I am giving birth in a foreign country in a hospital that has already proved itself totally incapable of any form of customer service and with family being a 16 hour flight away.
I don't see why my husband should be given the role of liaising and communicating back to me when it is a totally new experience for him as well.
If you don't see the point, don't get one.
For me, knowing my Doula is going to be there has only added to my confidence that this birth will be fine and means I only have to focus on the birth and me, not worry about my husband or anything else.

As the other posters have said, if you can't see the point in hiring a doula then it is, errr, pointless to do so.

There's no law that says you have to have a doula you know, just as there's no law forcing you to attend NCT classes.

But just because it's pointless for you (you think - you may well reassess this after you've given birth once!) doesn't mean that it's pointless for everyone.

not a number - you say I may reassess having given birth once - why? if there is a reason to have a doula then I will have one!

My reasoning was that I wanted someone there to ensure that DP wasn't the one wholly responsible for looking after me during the birth process. I wanted him to enjoy the experience and not have to feel I am his responsibility.

Primarily, however, my doula is there to 'coach' me through the process. She will keep me on track with my breathing and visualisation, know what alternatives to suggest if things are not comfortable/going to plan, will give me the courage to put my point of view across when I'm vulnerable, and will be a soothing presence helping me stay relaxed and in control. DP may well come up trumps, but he has a restless nature, will prob want to trot off for food and drinks and generally not stay put.

I will need him if things go awry because he is strong and a secure presence and I trust him in a crisis, I'm not sure he will be comfortable enough to help me through a more 'hippy' birth which is what I want . If he has to do 7 hours of hypnobirthing with me I KNOW he will go to sleep. However I am paying a doula to stay awake!

Have you read Spiritual Midwifery? I just finished it a couple of weeks ago and it give syou a pretty good idea of why having a dedicated midwife/birthing partner/doula could be emotionally and physically supportive during birth.

Saying that, a lot of hospitals really prefer you to have just one birthing partner so you might want to check that out with your birthing centre/hospital if you're not planning on a home birth. Because if that is the case then it's either your OH or a doula who will be there most of the time.

Whereas your DP will hopefully be as supportive as he possibly can be, a doula will be a lot more practical - coach you on your breathing exercises, do reflexology/massage etc, keep you calm.

But it's your birth and it's your money and it's up to you what would make you more comfortable at the end of the day. It's my first time coming up in about 9 weeks time and I've really debated whether I want a doula or not but in the end have decided to put trust in DH being a good birthing partner and we're going to spend the cash on some extra stuff for the baby, like a decent pushchair etc.

Hope it's not a decision I come to regret lol

Hi EmmaKate. Sounds like your husband and sister will do the job nicely. Although a Doula myself, the presence of my husband and mother at all of my births was all the emotional, physical, reassuring support I needed..they were my Doulas. I think it will depend on how you think your husband and sister will cope at your labour. As long as they remain calm and can reassure you throughout, then sounds like you've got great birth partners. I think your sister may find it the biggest challenge. I've known medical professionals to find being at the birth of their wife or sister quite a challenge, for many reasons. It's a very general statement, I know, so thoroughly depends on what your sister is like, which no doubt you know better than anyone. Good luck with it all, sounds like you've got a strong team.