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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Any tips on getting this baby out????

18 replies

missyfafa · 14/06/2010 18:39

Hi, I posted before about having a sweep because my Dad was ill and wanted to get baby out so he can see him/her. Very sadly Dad died at the weekend and now I am in another dilemma because the funeral will be next Mon which is officially the very last day they will let me go before inducing me. I have a planned homebirth and they are cancelling all homebirths at the weekend so I need it out NOW before thurs. I have tried pretty much everything. Obviously all the grief and stress of nursing my Dad and then his death are probably having a massive effect on things but enough is enough. I do not want to be giving birth on the day of my Father's funeral and I do not want to go into hospital and be induced. Has anyone had any success with accupressure points or castor oil??? These are about the only two things I have not tried yet. Have had loads of BH though and back pain.
Getting desperate now....

OP posts:

iMum · 14/06/2010 18:47

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear baout your dad xx

My mum "got me out" with caster oil, took it and I was born the following morning-it was unpleasant tho.

Clary sage worked for me with my ds1, was burning it all the time and also having reflexology with it too.

have you tried npple stimulation as I have heard this is very good at getting baby moving?

FabIsGettingFit · 14/06/2010 18:49

Sorry to hear you have lost your dad.

Castor oil is strongly not recommended.

Your best bet is to speak to your midwife and explain the situation. They might be willing to let you go over.

You have to be prepared for the baby coming on a day that doesn't suit you though.

ShowOfHands · 14/06/2010 18:52

I'm so sorry about the loss of your Dad.

Sadly, there's very little you can do. The baby will come when it's ready and all of the old wives' tales are just that, as you have found. Please don't try castor oil. It will just make you poorly and uncomfortable and even if you do go into labour, doing it with terrible stomach cramps on top of the uterine cramps as well as diarrhoea is just not what you want.

I know you must be feeling fragile and perhaps not ready for a fight or to be confrontational but you do not have to be induced against your will. You can ask for expectant management. If you and the baby are well then they can monitor you and wait for labour.

Why are they cancelling homebirths?

Original poster

missyfafa · 14/06/2010 18:56

I just can't miss Dad's funeral, it would be so upsetting for me and I already feel broken hearted.
I will try burning clary sage tonight and speak to midwife in morning. There is just too much to think about and I don't feel at all prepared/focused for the birth and I am worried it is me that is holding back the baby. I mean who would want to be born in to all this grief?

OP posts:

Original poster

missyfafa · 14/06/2010 19:00

They are short staffed at the weekend I believe, they cancelled them last weekend too.

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thisisyesterday · 14/06/2010 19:00

so sorry to hear about your dad
sadly though there is nothing you can do

all the old wives' tales are just that. tales

please don't do castor oil, it will be highly unpleasant for you

thisisyesterday · 14/06/2010 19:01

in fact, if i were you i'd be hoping to hold onto baby til monday!

i mean, what if you have it and there are complications? you could miss the funeral anyway.

so best to keep baby where s/he is and hope for the best.

you don't have to accept induction and you can have a homebirth whenever you choose!

Original poster

missyfafa · 14/06/2010 19:58

I don't think you can have a homebirth whenever you choose.
Hospitals do not have to provide a home birth service, just a maternity
service and you do not have a legal right to demand treatment only to refuse
it. This means that you cannot demand a homebirth or insist that someone
attends you, but you can refuse to come into hospital. That is how it is here.

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 14/06/2010 19:59

Where are you?

JackBauerDeservedAHappyEnding · 14/06/2010 20:15

I would take it very very easy if I were you and try and keep the baby in until after the funeral. as others said complications etc might mean you miss it if the baby comes first.

What tiem is the funeral?
Can you speak to the MW and explain that you are going in after the funeral and not before, they can hardly drag you in.

I am so sorry about your dad.

EnglandAllenPoe · 14/06/2010 20:25

they can't refuse treatment actually - if you say you are in labour and are refusing to come in, they will send someone out. Women that do this generally receive a good standard of care.

again, you don't have to accept induction (though i highly recommend nipple stimulation as 1) it works and 2) it is rather pleasant. - a good half hour sesion in front of the telly!)

sorry for your loss

thisisyesterday · 14/06/2010 20:32

missyfafa, you actually can insist someone comes out to you. they have a duty of care to you and if you refuse to go to hospital they HAVE to provide a midwife

that said, you probably don't need hte hassle of that on top of everything else

i do think you shouldn't hurry the baby though

ShowOfHands · 14/06/2010 20:35

law on homebirth

PartialToACupOfMilo · 14/06/2010 20:40

I really don't know if this will help at all, but thought I'd add my experience (in Birmingham).

I was booked for a home birth and when the midwife arrived to check me over she told me they were too short staffed for me to have the baby at home and I would have to go into the birth centre - which actually I would have happily done if it couldn't be avoided. Anyway when she checked me over she found I was already 10cm dilated and said I couldn't be moved and would have to have baby at home. Another midwife was sent for and dd arrived 2 hours later. I don't know how this works and how it sits alongside women being transerred into hospital later on in labour, but at full dilation they weren't prepared to move me. Maybe it's similar where you are??

You do also need to think about how you'd feel having a midwife sent out from an under staffed department to care just for you, to be honest I just wanted baby out so I didn't feel too guilty at all .

In terms of getting baby to come out, I can't help and I'm not even sure that it's possible if (s)he's not ready - sorry.

And I'm sorry to hear about your dad, it must be really tough to feel positive about anything at the moment.

Original poster

missyfafa · 14/06/2010 22:36

Well, I am burning clary sage as we speak and am booked to see an acupuncturist in the morning. Will speak with midwife too tomorrow and just play be ear. If I can relax a bit tomorrow and try and focus on baby maybe it will come of it's own accord. Thank you all for advice and for your kind words. I now have to explain to my three year old about death and decide whether she should attend funeral or not....this parenting lark is not easy is it?!

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girlsyearapart · 15/06/2010 08:41

So sorry to hear about your dad- SIL went into labour at her Nans funeral but still made it through the service. Not ideal at all.

What worked for me and my sister was a supermarket shop followed by carrying the heavy bags.

Have you tried reflexology?

Will they give you a sweep?

Good luck

Poppet45 · 15/06/2010 10:12

So sorry to hear about your dad. If you're sure you'd like this baby out before rather than after the funeral, then my tip is reflexology. My labour started less than 12 hours after my first and only session. Most good practitioners won't do anything to speed up labour - mine wouldn't - but will aim to help remove any emotional or psychological blocks that might be stalling the process. That was certainly the case with me, and I suspect with you too. And if nothing else it was a wonderfully soothing way of spending my last afternoon before becoming a mum. Hoping things work out as well as they can for you.

Original poster

missyfafa · 15/06/2010 11:30

Thank you, I am going to try some accupuncture and reflexology. Thanks for all your kind advice.

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