C-section booked on my daughters 5th Birthday!!

[Bubba3]

Hi,

I'm 40+1 weeks with my 3rd child. This baby has been a pain since day 1. The problems started with a low-lying placenta that eventually moved up 'enough' come the 32 week scan but at which time they said the baby was breech. Having 8 weeks of pregnancy to go we weren't too concerned by this. It was then discovered at 35/36 weeks that the baby was in a transverse lie. It then became breech again, then back to transverse again so was all over the place in a short period of time. I obviously got booked for a c-section as I didn't want an ECV (have it manually turned) but last week at the pre-op (the day before I was expecting to meet my baby) it was head-down(!) so they obviously wanted to leave me to go into labour naturally!
I Went for a check-up with my consultant yesterday (Friday) and the baby is now breech again!! They tried ECV 3 times that afternoon in central delivery suite and each time the bubba turned back. We now know it's because the placenta is still fairly low so there's not as much room down there for the baby's head and he/she is obviously happier head-up.
As the baby was still fairly happy after all of the manipulation and there was no sign of labour being imminent the consultant wouldn't do an 'emergency c-section' but said that she would like to do the C-section on Monday (as obviously you can't book for one over the weekend).
So my dilema is that Monday is my little girls 5th Birthday and I'm now more stressing about how her and her brother/sister will be in life sharing a Birthday! Surely it's a special day that you shouldn't have to share with anyone?! My daughter is excited that her baby brother or sister is coming on her Birthday but seems to think it's just this year and every year from here on out her Birthday will just be hers!
I phoned the hospital to try and change the c-section for the next day, Tuesday but they say 'theatre time is precious' and they're extremely busy as it is (I am being squeezed in during a very busy week). Their other arguement ofcourse is that each day I'm 'left' as it were is another day closer to a possibly dangerous labour as my baby is breech and they worry about a cord-prolapse if my waters break. Basically there's no changing them from Monday. They did appear semi-sympathetic and say that I'm on the afternoon list so I can atleast spend the morning with my daughter to celebrate her Birthday before I go into hospital at lunchtime.
I suppose all I'm after is some positives to my situation as it's really getting me down when I should be excited that I'm finally going to meet my mischevious baby in 2 days! I just feel sorry for my children not having their 'own special day'. Is it better having their Birthdays on the same day than one the day before the other as it's all out the way in one day then and more fun? Even if I could move the C-section to Tuesday would it be that much better? Does anyone out there have siblings born on the same day or do you share a Birthday with a sibling?
Any feedback would be much-appreciated!
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
:-)

I have no experience of this but I really dont think you should worry about it that much it could even cause more issues having one the day after the other. I remember on of my friends at school had her birthday just before her brothers and would be pissed off each year that her brother got to keep his cards up for ages and she had to take hers down after a couple of days, petty I know.

I dont really believe in fate but maybe you should just accept this as something you cant change they might turn out to love it. Can you honestly say as an adult you would be upset to have the same birthday as a sibling if your parents made sure to be fair to you both as you were growing up.

What I am trying to say is I think it will be fine.

Congratulations for monday

Thank you, your mesasage really did mean a lot and I appreciate it! :-)

I'm a twin so have always had a shared birthday and I love it. It's so nice to share the fun with someone if you see what I mean, instead of having to worry if they are feeling left out or jealous. It makes the whole day mean more.
Then I went on to marry a man born a day before me - so almost as good. And my DS was born the day after our wedding anniversary. I love our little clusters of important days. Makes things a proper party atmosphere and if nothing else it means DH has no excuse to forget dates. Besides when she's older you can tell DD about the efforts her sibling went to to ensure they shared birthday. I think she'll be rather tickled about it one day.
Good luck for Monday! Mmmmm new baby snuggles... lucky you.

I really feel for you (and in same pregnancy boat with foot first naughty breech).
My birthday is Dec 19 and I'm a real misery about it because people always say PS happy christmas in my birthday card, or wrap presents in christmas paper.
Imagine all those born on Christmas day, they do manage to seperate the celebrations.
If your daughter is excited then go with that emotion, don't let on to her that you feel any disappointment. She won't mind missing you for the day, baby arriving must be far more exciting.
Good luck, mine should be here on Thur!

if you want a top tip on how to change the date, phone your midwife and tell her you've decided you want a breech birth. you will be amazed how quickly a new date can be arranged for your c section

tbh it sounds fun and a bonding experience having the same birthday - if your dd is excited by it then even better

good luck with it all

I had my second child in January, the day before my first childs 4th birthday. Luckily I'd made the cake the day before as it was a spontaneous labour so didn't know that I would be in hospital on her birthday!! DD1 seemed happy enough. You and I will have to swap ideas on how to do joint parties for tinies and school girls!!!

Hope you are all enjoying your new life together in good health. xxx

Its a shame they couldn't change it but I suppose if baby hadn't been breech and you weren't having a section who's to say you wouldn't have given birth on that day anyway.

Most kids don't have their party on their birthday but wait till the nearest weekend anyway so even if they had moved it to the Tues you'd still have had difficulties in future years.

Maybe one DC could have their party the weekend before and one the weekend after and alternate years. Or the younger one could have their party in the morning and then in the afternoon the older one could do bowling/cinema/party with their friends? I think as they get older it will be less of an issue and this year you can definetly tell your DD that she's having the best birthday pressie ever! She may well think its really good sharing a birthday.

I'm surprised the hospital won't accommodate a different day- I asked for a different day than the one they offered- for exactly the same reason- it was DC1's birthday. The consultant completely understood, and we went for 2 days earlier so that I'd be home for the birthday... and I was.

It is still a pain with them only being 2 days apart, but I'm sure that will become less of a problem as they get older.

Congratulations.

I think it is a tricky situation, but one that you can turn to your advantage. I think you need to really go all out and make it a super special time for them instead, a bit like Christmas!

My DDs have birthdays close together, and so we tend not to go down the expensive present route, but instead emphasise the celebration of their birthdays. So we often have a holiday around the time of their birthdays - centre parcs sort of thing, they sometimes share a party (but they are closer in age than your two), and where possible, we will have a trip to the cinema and perhaps a meal.

My girls have a fun filled weekend during their birthdays - it is full of celebration - something they can both participate in and enjoy, but as I said, we tend to emphasise this rather than presents. For us, it works and my DDs look forward to their birthday celebrations (as the two birthdays often merge into one).

Good luck with your forthcoming child :-)

I went into labour with DD during DS's 2nd birthday party. I really didn't want them to have to share a birthday, but as it was a natural labour, I could take the midwife's advice and lie down and do nothing in an attempt to slow things down. It got me out of the washing up, anyway.

I managed to hold off until after midnight so they are technically one day apart for their birthdays. BUT, we do have to work very hard to make sure that we're not all "birthday-ed out" by the time we get to DD's on the following day. Which won't be a problem if it's a shared day. Often they've shared parties, which has been fine. I think it depends how you sell it to them. As long as they always have separate cards and presents and a cake each it should be OK. And soon, your DD will never remember it any differently.
Far more important that you avoid a potentially risky delay in the CS.
Good luck. June is a lovely month for a birthday - I'm the 21st.

My brother was born the day before my 2nd birthday and I always resented it. So when I went into labour with DC3 the day before DS1's 2nd birthday (4 days early) I was really worried. My notes showed I didn't go into second stage until midnight

I think sharing a birthday is better than having the younger one's birthday the day before the older ones, but if I'd had a choice I would have held off with DC3 until the day after the birthday.

(Having said that, I argued with the hospital not to have a planned section for DC5 on the 13th, but they weren't budging)

My sisters and I are all january birthdays!
Im the eldest, born on the 5th.
My first little sis was born on the 4th, day before my 5th birthday!
My youngest sis was born on the 10th, 5 days after my 8th birthday!!!

We've always had joint partys!
Though this was good 2 years ago when it was my sisters 18th and 21st at the same time!!!

I guess there is nothing to say that if it wasn't in breech and was head-down that it wouldn't be born naturally on my daughters birthday anyway!
It's just as a date was 'set' by consultant I feel that it doesn't have to be that date but it was the next working day and she doesn't want to leave me any longer than necessary as I'm over 40 weeks.
Thank you all so far for your feedback - I appreciate it so much and my husband and I have been very interested to hear what you've all had to say on the matter! Any more feedback is very much welcome! :-)

Twins all over the world manage with joint birthdays

DH and DS are one day apart (DS first) and DH now accepts that his birthday will always be taken over by the comedown from too many toys, parties, excitement for DS. Much better to have both on the same day I think!

Good luck for Monday. And what a great bday present for your DD!

Thank you - that's always nice to hear. Hope as your two get older and the toys disappear your DH doesn't feel his birthday is taken over!! :-)

My DH has the same birthday as his sister who is 6 years older. They love it and often get together for it. They have another sister in the middle as well but he is much more similar in personality etc to the sister he shares a birthday with (they do all get on well though). His older sister said she loved sharing a birthday with him when she was a child. I know lots of siblings have birthdays v close- must be something to do with mothers cycles etc!

My brother was born on my 5th birthday! It has really never been an issue for me or my bro! Actually i quite like it, makes you feel closer. I cant remember ever having my 'own' birthday, my brother never has and we have always shared and thats just the way it is!

Also its nice that you have some 'big birthdays' together - when brother turned 13 i was 18 and when he turned 16 i was 21 - gets you out of having to have two 'boring' family birthday parties

Actually reading the title, as someone who shares my birthday, my initial reaction to it was "yes, and...." (not in a nasty way) its just not an issue at all as far as i see it!

Oh and congratulations!