How do I not know this...???

[lola0109]

Hi all,

I was having a conversation with my DP yesterday and he mentioned that DD1 was taken away at birth due to respitory distress. DD1 is now 22 months and since her birth I have believed that she was taken away due to the fact I was on an antibiotic drip and that she just needed to be in a hot bed for a while. I now don't remember if someone told me this or if it was something I just made up. So I didn't believe him and checked with my mum who was my midwife and apparently this is true.

How did I not know this!!!???

Now I realise that this is all irrelevant as she is obviously fine but the reason I'm so about it is that DD2 was born 9 weeks ago and after a textbook perfect labour I suffered a massive PPH. Since being home I have been overly attentive to DD2, not ignoring DD1 but just probably not splitting my time as I should have and I was feeling really guilty about this and I felt it was due to the birth. DP has been at home for these 9 weeks so DD1 has had all his attention as you could barely prise DD2 from my hands.

But now I feel so sad that I spent the 4 hours after DD1's birth chatting with midwives and consultants (whilst being stitched etc) and DD was in distress

I've since spent the last 24 hours with DD1 on my lap and even took her to bed with me last night.

Anyway, has this happened to anyone else? Have you found anything out about your births that you didn't know? And did it affect you?

The midwives made a huge deal of me needing to get DS out because he was tired. I found out a few months later his heart rate was down to 40. I feel terrible. He is a happy healthy 7 month old, but still - I feel I screwed up.

I had water birth with second She was taken from me straight away and I was whipped out the pool. Like you, chit chatting and getting stitched up - baby was being rescucitated. Nobody said anything. Only found out because I read my notes. Looking back on it I knew something was wrong when i saw the midwife shake her head at the midwife behind me. Didn't affect me at all I have to admit. Took my lead from the midwives who at no point showed any signs of worry/distress/increased concern. Just one of those things and all is fine now.

Maybe it goes to show what professional midwives you had, had any of you known about these incidences, do you think you would have been able to stay as calm as them, or would it have panicked you and made the situation worse? I completely understand the whole guilt thing, my twins were 6 weeks early and in scbu for a couple of weeks. I couldn't keep them where they were supposed to be...anyway, I digress, all hail to most midwives!!

Don't beat yourself up - my DD needed resuc at birth, her heartrate was racing away and she came out very blue with apgar of 4. Its all fine now so why does it matter?

I lost 500ml of blood so neither of us were in great shape for the first half hour. The doctors arrived wanted to send DD to SCBU and give me drip but within 10 mins was clear neither were necessary.