what to do with DS when in labour???

[wickedfairy]

Hi everyone,

Those of you with child(ren) already - just wondering who will look after them when you go into labour with the current baby? I am 33 weeks with DC2 - we live 4 hours away from our families - starting to think about what we could do with DS when I go into labour.

If it is daytime, I think we would get his nursery to take him (if he isn't already there) and I suppose if it is early evening one of my friends could. But what if it happens in the middle of the night? My friends all work (and have children of their own), so I don't thing DH could turn up with DS at 3am and expect them to look after him, as they would need to leave for work in the morning.

Last labour (prem) went from nothing to baby in 5 hours and the hospital didn't even believe I was in labour until 8cm. Would think about staying at home as long as possible, but it depends really. Don't want to do the birthing part by myself, I want DH to be there. Can do majority of labouring on my own though.

Any advice please? TIA :-)

Can you get someone (family member, friend) to stay with you for a while around your due date? My mum stayed with us for about a fortnight for DS2's birth, I took a week off work to stay with my sister when her DC5 was born. (She got the date bang on, too!)

I'm going to have this problem too, so interested in the advice you get. My current idea is to call my mum and get her driving as soon as things start happening (she is about 2.5 hrs away)
I'm hoping for a homebirth but I guess I'll need someone here in case I have to go to hospital. But the idea of her being in the house while I'm in labour is a bit disconcerting!
I don't much like the sound of having someone here in advance personally, dd was a week late and I like my own space! I expect I'll be extra grumpy by then too

we had a list of friends and neighbours who were willing to help with ds.
all our families live abroad so we made a plan with ds daily routine and important phone numbers and gave it to all involved parties (including dh).
list was a bit like this:

1. nursery worker (who knows ds and sometimes babysits anyway)
2. best friend (who lives about half an hour drive away)
3. neighbours (who we don*t know well but who are friendly and the kids get on great)

my plan was anyway to start labour sunday night so that dh could drop ds off at nursery and then we could go to hospital together...
nice plan. in the end my waters broke saturday night and I took a cab to the hospital to be assessed. labour started while there. dh brought ds to my best friend and made it to the hospital just in time for the pushing bit.

I didn*t want family to stay for the first few weeks (they would have driven me mad), so this worked well for us.

I need to call someone at 3am

We discussed at 7pm whether we could take DC to one of their friend's house for a sleep over but we decided it was probably BHs.

Not sure what I would have done if my parents were 2.5 hours away... probably made them drive to us just in case...

Luckily we have a nanny who looks after the DC after school. I had her on standby just in case. And we did need to call her at 3am, although probably could have stayed at home a little longer perhaps.

My parents were due to arrive on my due date to stay but DS2 was a week early. My PIL live quite locally (15 mins drive away) but they were on holiday, due to come back 5 days before EDD, hence still away.

The problem is that it would have not been good to take DD(6) and DS(4) with at 3am!

Could ask the nursery staff and see if any of them can be on standby for you?

we have no family nearby, so we've arranged for my MIL to come and stay from the day before my due date for 2 weeks - she arrives tomorrow At least that way DD has someone she knows really well and will be in her own house.

If it had happened earlier we've had a few friends on standby for the last couple of weeks just in case. One couple without kids who would have come to stay if it happened in the evening/at night, and a friend who is a SAHM who would have taken over during the day.

I'm sure if you ask some friends now thay won't mind - even if they have kids themselves and it happens at 3am, surely one of them could come over to your house, stay until the morning and then drop DS off at nursery before they go to work?

One thing's for sure - you need to get it sorted now, don't wait til you go into labour! Ask your friends, I'm sure they would do this for you, I would for any of my friends.

It is tough. Both our sets of family live 8 hours travel away in opposite directions. I've got my MIL coming this Monday 3 days before my elcs. Hoping DD (18 months) will be able to get used to her caring before I go into hospital and DH is flitting back and forwards. She is going to stay a couple of weeks to help, then my mum is coming up for a fortnight. We have a small 2 bedroom house so it will be cosy and a bit stressful but it's just needed this time round.

DH has been away for a couple of days for work and I had to ask another mum I know through the library group to be my emergency standby - and sure enough I had to call her just after 6am today and go in to hospital this morning to see if my waters had gone (thankfully not).

I felt bad as she insisted on driving me in too and then took DD until lunchtime so I could sleep (had been up most of the night). But I think it's just one of those times when you have to accept all the help you can get - especially as you know you would do the same for someone else if you could.

My family are 3 hours away but Mum came to stay a few days before DS2 due date. DH commutes.

DS2 was born at home in about 1.5 hours during early hours so DS1 slept through in his own cot. Was still great having Mum there just in case though.

I loved having a home birth both for myself and new babe but also thought it was a good experience for DS1. I really didnt want to leave him.

As someone who doesn't have children yet and who was working until I started maternity leave at the beginning of the month, I would have had no problem with one of my friends having us on a call list for in case they went into labour in the middle of the night. I would have just thought that was what friends were for! You might be surprised if you ask them.

We were in same position

I'd suggest some/all of the following:
befriend next door neighbours (ours helped us out with DC3 last month)
hire a doula - so you have someone with you if DH has to do childcare
ask your friends if they can help - I found I had a list of people who were happy to be woken regardless of the hour - people in the same position as your friends with kids and jobs
pre-warn nursery and ask them to be aware you may need help at short notice
find an early years student who can be on standby around your due date to stay night/babysit next day

It will be ok

When I was having DS2 midwife told me there was a family there who had their two year old with them - she sat in the corner unperturbed eating crisps and reading magazines (though my DD would have been there saying "why are you making that funny noise?" "What are you DOING mummy?")