3rd births.. Are they really so bad?

[dizzymac]

I'm due number 3 in a week and becoming increasingly nervous about the birth itself.
Birth 1 was awful. Long and ending in forceps and a transfusion.
Number 2 was great. I stayed mobile and only went in to literally give birth.

So now I am just having a minor moment about how 3 will go. I know there are no guarantees and I am going to use the midwife led birth centre so am hoping for another number 2.
Does anyone have any positives about number 3?

My third was my best. I was very mobile, coped with pain ok (dh would laugh if he saw that but it really was ok) and it was exciting as well as of course dreadfully uncomfortable The only complication was that I lost more blood afterwards. That could have been because it was my third - midwives did say you tend to lose more because everything is so much more stretched. I didn't need a transfusion or anything but they wanted me to stay in 'overnight' - as it was then 5am I told them to forget that but I would stay in for a few hours. We finally went home at 3pm.

my third was my easiest too, as was no3 when she arrived, got into sleeping routine so much more quickly than others (partly as had 2 others under 3 so couldnt really stress and fret about it) . i am having 'minor moments' myself however over now overdue no4

My third was definitely the easiest, and no complications afterwards. We got into a very easy routine afterwards, and the elder 2 were a great help. I was 38 when I had him.

i don't think i'll get to number 2 never mind 3!!! my 1st was so scary, overdue-induced-failed-crash c-sect-blood loss-wound seriously infected and completely opened and broke down - 4 months to seal up with nurses packing it daily.

however.... my mum had 5!!!!!! she said 1 & 2 bad but 3,4,5 ace births. I was number 5... she said I was best baby too .... think she said this to make me feel better.

Good luck xx

My third was my best too.

I used the Midwife Led Unit, and they were fantastic, they let me do what I wanted.

I gave birth standing up, which was near enough painless (well, very bearable), didn't tear, had one internal only, had a natural third stage etc. All perfect.

In fact it was so good, it's left me wanting a number 4.

And now, DD3 is the most chilled out baby ever, she gets on with it all, and always wakes up with a smile (contrary to DD1 and 2!!).

I'm having a minor moment about no 3 too! DC1 was a classic back to back 3 days then forceps nightmare. DC2 wa a few hours of not too bad labour and born 15mins after arrival at hospital. I've just been assuming that everything will be alright,planning a nice quick homebirth (got terrible spd and feel more comfortable at home) and suddenly (34w today) very nervous!

DD3 was a skoosh!! Mind you, I was induced with a synto drip (previous c-section, so pessaries contra-indicated) and had an epidural, so I went to sleep for my labour and woke up in time to push. Only 2 stitches, much less bleeding than with DD2 (had a PPH then) and definitely the best of the three.

Every single person who has 3 plus children in RL have said to me with a knowing nod and grimace that their 3rd birth was horrendous Why would they say that????? Its nice to read on here that most peoples experiences are not so horrendous!

I'm 33 weeks with DC3 (different father to DC1 & 2) so have no idea really what to expect - both previous births were very quick and obviously painful but as so quick wasnt a bother (as such!!! )

All these RL people with their horror stories have got me into a slight panic...!

Sorry its taken me so long to get back my internet's been down.
Thank you all so much for your stories I'm feeling lots better having just read them all
I'm hoping for an upright birth this time too Tomato. Somehow I just though gravity might be a useful factor.
Anyway, good luck to you all and hope you all have good ones too.

Mine was the worst - read my childbirth threads if you must (but I suggest you wait until after your birth)

Sorry but you did ask!

Just remember every baby and every birth is different, you could pop it out in 3 minutes or it could be 3 days of hell, no way of knowing, just like every other delivery.

Good luck

My third was the most intense but the shortest at under an hour and was the easiest.
It was also bloody brilliant.

I was always told horror stories about 3rd births so when I was due with DD3 I became increasingly nervous and I think i feel in a heap once I felt that first contraction - however - she was born in 1hr 59 minutes, I was in pool then as wasn't dialited as rapidly as contractions suggested I got out and by the time I'd walked to another room, DD3 was pushing her own way out.

Nothing at all like I hate built it up to be and I was home within a couple of hours dooing the hoovering

Good Luck - you will be fine

after 2 fast easy births i'm expecting to sneeze this one out with dd (no2) i woldnt have made it to the hospital as i would have had to sort out childcare for ds, wait for him to be picked up etc so i had a homebirth knowing that that would be the case, booked in for another this time, midwife says she is gunna set up a tent in my garden for a few weeks lol

i went to 41 weeks with both of mine but dd is only 14 months and i an 28 weeks so theres a chance i may go early this time, since hes estimated as a 10 lb'er (dd was 8lb 14) i'm not too worried lol

My 3rd was the best labour by far. I had a home birth and it was all very calm and I did cope with the pain better than I remember from the other two.

The birth was a bit more hairy as he had his arm over his head (cord wrapped around neck and under shoulder) but was fine in the end.

Ignore all those 'ooh, the thirds the worst' scarers. IMHO there are very few people for whom the first labour/birth was not the worst. You'll be fine.

First birth - long latent phase (10pm-7am) was pushing for 90m mins and managed to push out DD in v distressed state just before medical intervention arrived. 2nd degree tear and grazes and bruising.

Second birth - almost as long latent phase (3pm-10pm) fantastic calm in water, pushed him out very slowly in controlled way. Perineum intact but deep grazes and bruising.

Third birth (5 weeks ago) - like the others slow latent phase (6pm-4am - so the longest of the three although probably less intense). Thought I went to hospital too early, midwife did not think I was in established labour (commented on irregular contractions and it being 3rd baby) and then waters went and he was born right away - no need to push, body did it automatically in involuntary way! 1st degree tear (no stitches, no grazes no bruising.

So different from the other 2, not sure which was better 2nd or 3rd. 2nd calmer and slower. I guess 3rd slightly less calm as went from "not in established labour" to him being born in matter of minutes. But recovery much quicker as no bruising.

1st - fairly standard I think! Not hideous, but long 2nd stage, tear/stitches etc. Had epidural. 9lb12oz boy

2nd - home birth - v quick labour - 3.5 hours - no pain relief, mw arrived 30 mins before birth, born kneeling against bed, no stitches. 10lb0 girl

3rd - home birth - LONG labour - 11 hours or so, but not as intense as with 2nd, so I got more tired, and had to 'work' quite hard to get the contractions going enough - lots of walking round the house etc. Born standing up, no pain relief. 10lb2oz boy. Was v tired afterwards, and probably the most frustrating labour.

4th - homebirth - fast labour - 4 hours. V intense, especially at end, slight panic as shoulders stuck. Used entonox, probably most painful and intense of all of them, and the only one that has left me feeling battered!!! No stitches though. 10lb8oz boy

1st: long, long, labiour, lots of intervention, ventouse delivery, bad tear

2nd: homebirth, 6 hours, beautiful! wanted another one straight away!

3rd: homebirth 45 mins. VERY intense. pain was almost unbearable.

my BEST was number 2, but the third wasn't hideous. it was very intense and if it had gone on longer i'd have not coped very well at all, but it was over and done with quickly lol

Nothing is as bad as the first one! If you manage the first without major pain relief, it's all downhill from there!

My third birth was very intense, but mainly very short (30 mins start to finish). Delivered by dh on kitchen floor. Bizarely it wasn't particularly fightening and in retrospect was great.

3RD was very long and horrible. The worst one actually. Sorry that's not reassuring, but you did ask and I felt flipping furious at the number of people who told me it would just "stroll out". Yeah, 12 hours/ARM/synto later she did. But I hope you have a lovely smooth birth, best of luck!

Number 3 for me was the quickest; almost didn't make it to the hospital. Took about 4 hours from when I woke up in the morning (probably having been in labour during the night) to holding DD2 in my arms. And she was a great baby.

Despite the speed and the panic, I felt strangely calm.

Every experience is completely different and unpredictable. Good luck!

Sounds like you'll be fine :-)

If i go for #3 i know i will spend the whole pregnancy debating what to do for birth..

1st: Long long labour, 3 days, blue lighted to different hospital, no pain relief (moved from MLU to get epidural but not available on arrival!), distressed baby, arm above head, delivered just after they'd said i would have to have c-sec, 3rd degree tears, retained placenta, needed repair job 6 months later, stitched so badly.

2nd: Elective c-sec, it was only 18 months later and i still hadn't healed properly, physically & mentally. I love being organised, so it was ideal, but i did feel 'robbed' of the natural childbirth and frustrated that i couldn't lift my DS1 for weeks after etc

The babies have carried the way they entered the world. DS1 is hard work, hyper/ underweight/ awkward. DD2 is relaxed/ eats/ sleeps/ chilled out and i really enjoy her company. However i don't feel i bonded with her straight away as well as i did DS1.

I think this decision is the main thing stopping us from having another at the moment, as the 2 experiences were so different. My DH really wanted me to have c-sec, but now said if he could live one experience again it would be he birth of DS1. But was that because he was my 1st? or was it because it was vaginal.

Decisions, decisions!
Good Luck Dizzymac, you'll be fine

V. similar experience to Loopymumsy with my DD3. She was an unplanned homebirth. I woke up about midnight, had about 2 contractions, my waters broke, I went downstairs and had about 5 painful contractions, I knew I could feel the head coming, didn't push and the baby flew out. She was pink and lovely, I had no tears or problems. I spent less than an hour in labour and could fast forward to the tea, toast and cuddles. It was a lovely, positive experience if a bit surprizing. DS1 and DS2 were fairly long back to back labours and I had to have my waters broken each time to hurry things along. DD3 was much better.

My third birth was fabulous. Was at home (planned). Waters broke at 9pm. Midwife arrived at 9.45. Only mild contractions. She left at 10.45pm. I took some paracetomol and had a glass of wine. We called her back at 11pm because sudden wave of stronger contractions. She arrived at 11.15pm. DS2 arrived at 11.25pm!

Birth no. 1 - epidural, pethidine and gas and air. Bad stitching.

Birth no. 2 - gas and air. Arrived at hospital fully dilated and he was born shortly afterwards. ONly went to hospital because no midwife available for home birth. He arrived at 9pm and I was home by 11pm