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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Please help me get through these issues I have.

10 replies

mmmmmchocolate · 20/05/2010 13:02

Well I really dont know where to start. DC2 is due any day now and suddenly I've realised I've got to give birth Obviously I've known this all along but have just been ignoring it
Last time the birth was hard on me but DD was born healthy and I'm thankful for that and realise I've got to just forget about it, but I just cant seem to get past it. I keep bursting into tears and when I had to make notes on my birth plan I just got hysterical.
My contractions started 5 days before she was born, every 10 mins (ish) but managable 2 days before she was born I went to a midwife apt and she told me to go to the hospital because DD hadnt grown for the last week or so, my BP was high (I also had sugar protein in water and had swollen up like a balloon) and DD's heartrate was a little fast. Hospital admitted me and induced me the next day (One day earlier than I was supposed to be) Everything went well got to 5 cms with no pain relief and was moved to a private room. Then it all seemed to go downhill. The midwife was never in the room she went and sat and chatted in the nurses station, me and DP had no idea what was going on at any point. Had an epidural that failed as DD was back to back and all of the contractions were in my back, I was forced to stay on the bed as I needed to have continuous monitoring due to being induced and was hooked up to a drip because my contractions "were not doing anything" despite the fact that I had gone from 0-5 cms in about 3 hours on my own. (I really believe that I was only put on the drip because the hospital was very busy - all rooms were full - and they wanted to get me through quicker)
I ended up getting urges to push when I was only 8cms which prolonged the labour as my cervix had apparenty swollen, Pushing for almost 2 hours and not getting anywhere, an episiotomy (cut in 2 places) and just missed out on an assisted delivery. Coupled with the fact of having around 10 people staring at my faff trying to get the baby delivered..... Then the placenta got stuck which really pissed the midwife off as she wanted to go home
Then I was forced to go and have a shower when I could barely walk, couldnt breathe (14 hours of sucking on gas and air) and had lost a fair amount of blood so was quite woozy.
I saw my Midwife on Thursday and asked her how likely it was I would end up with induction again and she was very matter of fact that I probably would.
So sorry about the essay but has anyone who was induced or had a shitty birth gone on to have a great second birth or no induction? Or am I destined to go through it again? I'm not even hoping for a great birth just one that doesnt make me tense up if I have to think about it. TIA.

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LooL00 · 20/05/2010 13:25

I had a really shitty birth in a hopelessly understaffed hospital for dc1, more than 36 hour of back labour,syntocin drip,constant monitoring, no epidurals on offer then mad panic forceps delivery. Then, when i had dc2 (not back to back) I thought I was just having braxton hicks but phoned the hospital to see if the pool was available and the midwife told me to get in quick so I turned up at the hospital expecting a 36 hour session in labour, but dc2 was born 15 mins later. Back labour is really really shitty and maybe this time it won't happen (for you or for me as dc3 is due in July and I'm most worried about back labour).
You don't have to be induced if you don't want to be, there are lots of threads about that.Good luck!

CantSupinate · 20/05/2010 13:26

You had a traumatic experience. That is real and deserves addressing no matter how fine (thankfully) the baby turned out to be.

I know a lot of women who had very difficult first childbirths and then sailed thru the second birth relatively easily.

CantSupinate · 20/05/2010 13:28

ps: I had 4 babies (relatively straightforward births). Each pregnancy I became increasingly talented at ignoring the reality of having to go thru childbirth at the end of each pregnancy, I think it's in the finest traditions to do that!

mamibabi · 20/05/2010 13:36

If it's any help, I had a horrible first birth - similar experience to yours, and was dreading the second.

My second birth was 2.5 hours from first contraction to delivery. Contractions all really managable, to the point that we left it a bit late and baby was delivered in the front seat of the car in 2 pushes, obviously, other than the 2 paracetamol I took after the first contraction, it was drug free, and looking back, quite easy really!

Here's hoping that you will be fine - good luck, hope it all goes well for you!

mmmmmchocolate · 20/05/2010 13:41

Thanks looloo tthats what I wanted to hear this one isnt back to back and I'm making it my mission to make sure she stays in the right position! I dont want to refuse induction as it would just worry me that she wasnt safe- I dont know if I have reason to think that- plus at 38 weeks she was measuring over 10 pounds so I dont want her any bigger. LOL CantSupinate glad its not just me ignoring it!

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mmmmmchocolate · 20/05/2010 13:45

Wow mamibabi thats impressive lol though I think DP wouldnt be impressed if I created a mess in his car... Does anyone know if im likely to need an episiotomy again? Im worried that due to scar tissue things wont erm stretch

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mitfordsisters · 20/05/2010 14:30

mmmchoc, you don't have to accept any intervention you don't want eg CFM or induction - you can get info on induction from the AIMS website, and make up your own mind based on the risks.

Please don't feel defeated because of what happened last time - not your fault the midwife was irresponsible and hospital busy. You will know better this time and it seems clear that you are perfectly capable of having your lovely baby in your own calm and dignified way. Get a copy of Ina May Gaskin's book if you have time, and read that - very reassuring.

mamibabi · 20/05/2010 17:06

I had an epi first time, bit of grazing the second time round, no major shakes tbh

Good luck!

Loopymumsy · 21/05/2010 06:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mmmmmchocolate · 22/05/2010 11:14

Loopy thank you for the links. I'm going to venture out today to see if I can track down a copy of the book mentioned. I did hope to hire a doula but due to financial probs never got around to it I'm guessing it would be too late now really? I would love a homebirth in theory however I know I'm likely to need more than gas and air, my bmi is high and with blood pressure issues I'm not sure they would agree. Plus I'm now overdue with no signs of things starting. The aims website makes for some interesting reading thanks for that suggestion too. I just need to get through this delivery and then I don't have to do it ever again

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