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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

coping with family needs after the birth

2 replies

marl · 17/05/2010 12:12

Any tips from any of you about coping with the hurly burly of two other children and a slightly stressed partner after your birth? Am holed up upstairs at the moment, but feeling I am taking too much on board to do with my partner's stress and tiredness, sorting out arguments downstairs and finding it difficult coping with the two other children competing over the baby and wanting to maul him. The only downside of a lovely homebirth I think! Last time I had one DD at school so things were peaceful and we had a lovely baby moon! This time I'm feeling either quite 'put upon' by my partner wanting to rely on me and tell me his issues about the other children or 'alone' by being in the spare room and leaving him to deal with it and ignoring his stress! Ended up having my tearful evening last night where I went mad about inlaws visiting without dates being agreed with me, lack of time together just us, his stress, etc etc and saying that I just needed a bit more cherishing. I feel like I'm thinking too much about him and not enough about my own rest. Any tips? Maybe I'm being a bit hormonal and unreasonable!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hippopo · 17/05/2010 17:59

Congrats on birth of your new LO and great to hear you had a lovely homebirth.

I havent got any advice from previous experience but just wanted to say yes maybe you are a little hormonal (to be expected) but not unreasonable. Sounds like you do have your plate full!

Maybe inlaws visiting will be a good thing - they can look after your other DC and your DP/H can concentrate on you and spoil you a bit.

Good luck

MumNWLondon · 18/05/2010 16:39

I think you need to tell your partner or other family members that you need to focus on the baby and not on his or the older children. Ignore the arguments, his problem not yours.

Agree re: in laws as long as your DP tells them that they have to look after the older DC.

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