Homebirth doubts

[Mishy1234]

I'm currently 38 weeks (2nd pregnancy) and had been considering a homebirth for a while. I had OC with DS and had really expected it to return this time, ruling out a homebirth, but it hasn't. Therefore, I've made the decision very late and am fortunate the MW team have been able to fit me in at such short notice.

My first birth experience was very medicalised, induced due to OC and waters breaking at 37 weeks. Very painful contractions, leading to epidural and lift out forceps delivery. DS healthy, but a bit jaundiced.

I had my home visit from the community MW yesterday and since then have felt a bit wobbly about it all. We talked at length about the reasons for transfer and although the transfer time should be short (about 15 min), this could be considerably longer if it happens in rush hour. I'm also 40 this year, so no spring chicken and also no unassisted birth experience to base my decision on.

I'm veering from being totally confident about the idea, to being concerned if I'll actually be able to do it and what will happen if something goes wrong. Tbh the pain relief issue doesn't really bother me. I know I have the option to transfer for that if I need to and although it could be potentially unpleasant for me, it doesn't pose any risk for the baby.

Am I foolish to continue if I feel this way? DH says I should just go with the flow and see what happens, but I don't want to end up wasting people's time and opting to go to hospital anyway. The fire brigade have to delivery the gases etc and that's an awful lot of public resources to take up (as well as the MW's time) if I have a panic at the end and decide to transfer.

What do you guys think?

Oh and I've also had the usual very negative feedback from Drs/MW's I know. DS's uncle is a consultant gynaecologist and was horrified I'm considering taking such a risk.

My gut feeling is that you should go for the HB, nothing is certain, but sounds like the odds are high that it will go fine.

I won't go on for long as I am supposed to be else where (as ever) but I had to reply to your post.

I had my third child (home birth) at forty, having had two previous deliveries in hospital ten years previously.

Both hospital deliveries were induced. The first was lengthy, with gas and air and pethidine. There was very bad bruising and tearing and I had to stay in for a week afterwards, due to this.

The second, also induced, entailed a three day stay before birth, and then a rush to emergancy theatre because placenta didn't detached. I was then in for another 4 days to 'recover' from that. (I was fine, but baby wasn't feeding. Hospital staff wouldn't listen until I discharged myself, and they weighed her and found she had lost too much of her birth weight for them to release her.)

After all that, I decided on a home birth for my third unexpected pregnancy. It was wonderful - wonderful - wonderful. Midwives in our area are massively into homebirths, so there were loads of positive vibes. I met just one who said ' ooh dear' but she turned out to be a locum brought out of retirement.

I had gas and air, and pethidine. The gas and air was delivered by when I got my first twinges. When I labour became established, midwife attended and stayed throughout. 6 hours later - baby born, a second midwife having attended just before the second stage, to look after the baby. There was a bit of a nervous wait, for placenta. It took half an hour to deliver - but then it was fine.

The midwives were wonderful - so calm and strong.

Find out what is on offer in your area - is there a dedicated team of community midwives geared up for homebirths. Find out if any of them run classes - my key midwife ran the local aqua natal. She made it clear everyweek how much she was looking forward to delivering my baby. One weekend she went away on holiday, but told me to keep my legs crossed until Monday, by which time she would be back! Of course, I delivered on the Saturday night, with another equally lovely member of the midwifery team. But it was great to have someone so capable and confident on your side each week as the due date approached.

If you are low risk, (as I was , despite being forty) homebirths are fine - better in fact. The complications I suffered in the first two hospital births were due to an over cautious medical approach.

If you have real concerns, go for a hospital birth. But if your only worry is that you don't want to be a nusiance and home birthing is a bit 'militant', dismiss those thoughts. I felt so cherished and safe giving birth at home. And for the first time, my husband got to stay with his new baby during its first night.

All my best wishes.

Have just had my second HB and it is such a wonderful experience compared to your first which totally mirrors my first in hospital. I think once you get started it's best not to keep playing with your mind about 'will I need to go to hospital' and just get on with it. 15 minutes is very nearby anyway; our local hospital is much further. My absolute bible which kept me strong on a couple of wobbly moments of doubt during thistime round was Kitzinger's book 'The New experience of childbirth' which if you fancy a read of it, you might find strengthens your resolve. I found I was so much more relaxed in my home surroundings that my body was much more prepared to do what it should in a very natural way, plus of course second time round you are much more relaxed anyway so I guess less likely to have intervention. Good luck with it and I hope you get the homebirth and all goes beautifully.

Thanks so much for the positive replies!

DH thinks I've got my knickers in a twist over the fact that firemen have to come and deliver the G&A. I do feel a bit guilty about that, but I'm sure it's one of the services they feel good about providing (I hope!).

I've actually just got back from Asda with the standard shower curtains, bowls and cheap towels, as I really thought I should just complete my preparations as if we are going ahead, which I've decided we will all going well.

It was lovely to come back to such positive responses and
l'll certainly look into all your suggestions asap. I've read one of Ina May Gaskins books, which has some great birth stories in it so I'll read those again.

One thing we're not sure about is if we have room for a pool. The MW said they like to be able to walk all the way around it, which I'm not sure will be possible in the room we've earmarked. Have any of you had a homebirth without one?

Also, they're not keen on supplying pethidine as they say it can sometimes cause breathing difficulties for the baby after birth?

Lastly, they are a dedicated team and have an excellent reputation. There is an outside chance they may have to draft someone else in from a nearby team, but I know they are excellent as well so not too fussed about that. I may not get someone I've already met, but that would definitely be the case in hospital too.

I didn't have a birthing pool, but spent alot of time in my bath (with candles!) Gave birth on the bed.

I did have pethidine - I've not heard anything about it raising risk of breathing difficulties. For me, it was important that I had it. Labour was back to back - very painful. I've had pethidine for all my labours - never any problems. Did you have pethidine before?

Husband applying very hot water bottle to my back really helped - that would be my top tip in fact.

I would have found a birthing ball very helpful. In my own space, I felt very comfortable moving around, and would really have liked something to bend on and rock to ease the pain.

well, I am still in the post birth glow from my first homebirth and would thoroughly reccomend it!

I gave birth at 8am this morning after labouring since 1pm yesterday and used only my TENS and gas and air. Didn't have a pool, didn't even use the bath. DH was my rock though, couldn't have done it without him.

I hadn't met either of the midwives who came, but they were both great. I had planned a homebirth for my last dd but transferred for more pain releif, and I had met the midwife then, so I don't think it makes that much difference.

It is so nice to not have to think about a car journey in the middle of labour, and to be able to walk around the garden at 3am (which I am pretty sure would not be allowed in hospital!)

Even with the transfer last time, I did value being able to stay at home as long as I did, so I would definitely say you should plan for one, and change your mind if/when you need to.

maria- that's interesting about the pethidine. I didn't have it the first time, but that was really due to it being so obvious that an epidural would be the best option under the circumstances. The MW didn't say she definitely wouldn't let me have it, so I'll do some more research and maybe just have it available just in case. G&A really didn't do anything for me the first time, but I was having a lot of trouble breathing due to the strength/frequency of the contractions which probably made it very ineffective.

I have a birth ball and the hot water bottle is a very good idea.

nubbins- wow, your birth sounds brilliant and very inspiring! Congrats on your new arrival and thanks for making the time to reply to my post.

In our area I believe they use Meptid which is similar to Pethadine, being an opiate but not as strong as pethadine does increase the risk of breathing issues for the baby depending on when in labour you take it.

I can understand why some women want a homebirth but I would be nervous.

With my fisrt I hemoraged (sp) very badly. They might have lost me had I been at home.

I'm all for people birthing where they prefer, if that be hospital so be it.

In my experience (3 homebirths) the MWs who come out are very experienced, and it is their job and skillset to assess whether everything is happening as it should. As soon as something seems the slightest bit pear-shaped, they whisk you in.

( Certain pear-shaped events they can handle just as well at home as they could in hospital, anyway, like cord around the baby's neck).

The sad truth is that many hospital births go wrong, often because of a cascade of questionable interventions that are much much less likely to occur at home.

Yes in our area we are given a prescription for meptid if we ask for it. I had it both times in the fridge but returned it afterwards as didn't use it. Agree with the comment above about birthing ball. Didn't use it the first time at home but did a lot this time - partly because baby was slightly towards back to back and lying with my front over it helped give space for baby to move to the right position. Re the midwife, I guess even though you don't generally know the midwife in hospital and MAY do if it's at home, you still generally have one person there for the whole time at home plus a supporting midwife at the end rather than the constantly changing cycle of midwives in hospital - I found it much nicer. The local midwives didn't have cover the night I went into labour last week so got one I didn't know, but I think I was so fixated on having one I knew, I kind of 'held on' until the local ones were on duty and then one came out!

Lots of support for you. I'll add my brief thoughts.

Had HB with DD1 now 18 months. Intend to have another with DC2 due in Oct.

Just some of the benefits included:

having two midwives there all the time (and the same two, no shift swap)

having two midwives, because I was so relaxed and distracted that I was actually 6cms by the time the first one arrived with no more relief than a hot water bottle and a bit of wiggling.

generally feeling confident that you had two HCP watching you the whole time, no being distracted by other patients, or starting again with shift changes.

A sense (rightly or wrongly) that if anything had started to go wrong I would have been trasnferred in because the MW would not have wanted anything to go wrong "on their shift" and where any decisions would have been entirely traced back to them.

no transfer to hospital or home again.

when DH was told to go and make me tea and toast afterwards, I could substitute hot chocolate instead (don;t drink tea).

DH there with DD and I all the time, no visiting hours, no shared wards.

DD had a cord around her neck when born, but was dealt with calmly and quickly.

LOL at G&A being delivered by firemen! Not in our area it isn't!

Anyway, good luck with your decision and your birth whatever you eventually chose.

Another vote here for the HB route.

My last one was two weeks late - the MW was very aware of what could go wrong, and told DH (not me) that we'd go in at the slightest indication of anything possibly going less than perfectly.

My first was born in the hospital, and had I not had my very experienced birthing partners with me, it would have gone down a very different route with forceps etc.

The subsequent 3 were all born at home, and the environment itself made an enormous difference. So much more relaxed, and I didn't have to worry about the woman in the next room, or walking the corridors with my gown flapping open etc. I was 38 when the last one was born, and at the beginning of the PG was told I wouldn't be supported in a HB because she was my fourth. Thankfully I only saw that MW once and the others were fully supportive. If I have number 5, given my age, I'd probably want a HB, but wouldn't take any chances.

I'm convinced that only the more experienced MWs take the lead with HBs, and so there's less chance of anything not be picked up on, or going wrong.

I'm surprised you've had negative feedback from MWs. I'd expect it from doctors, and probably DS's uncle even, but MWs are generally supportive if they are confident and experienced in them.

Ultimately I'd say have faith in your MWs when the time comes, but remember that you have the final say. Be prepared for both and decide at the time.

Good luck. I'm a bit !!

More positive replies, thanks guys!

Ordering a pool today, as have worked out that the mini pool in a box will be fine in the spare room. Just hope it and the G&A get delivered in time!

Ohforfossake- I have to admit that the main MW who was negative about hb actually left the profession a while ago and her role had been hospital based with high risk cases, so she was exposed to the worst case scenarios. I've decided not to tell her my plans and just mention it after the event!

Feel a lot more positive about it all now and will ask about the meptid option.

Very much looking forward to the firemen arriving. Hope the H&S assessment goes ok and they let me have it!