Birth and postnatal doulas- recommendations? advice? experiences?

[ShellyTee]

I'm due early Sept and would like someone with experience to provide some guidance during birth and a helping hand after birth (and possibly during birth itself given my husband is terrified of blood). We're based near Stansted and will be delivering in Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge. Has anyone in our area used a doula before and what are their experiences? Was it useful? Neither of our parents are around to give advice/help and we'll be more than happy for a neutral person to dispense unbiased opinions and lend a helping hand.

Any input from first timers out there?

S

Hi Shelly
I'm a mum of two and had my mum with me during my births as well as my partner. It was nice having a woman who had gone through childbirth there to hold my hand and just answer little questions like - when does the pain stop or when will this be over in a calm way as my husband hadn't a clue and it was great to have someone stay with me when my husband just popped out for some air.
Some of my friends have had doulas and it worked for some and not for others, I think if you bond with your doula before it's a really good experience whereas some of my friends had them come in so last minute it was hard for them to gage their birth choices. With my first I was opting for a natural, no pain relief option, but in the end was begging for anything (my NCT classes made it seem like I was asking for devils drugs). Second time as I knew what to expect, I was drug free and loved every minute of it - I'd also visited a hypnotherapist that was recommended by my NCT group (Billericay) and it was amazing (and I don't really believe in all that sort of stuff, but fully recommended by myself and all 4 of my group!). I'm doing a doula course in September with my mother as a friend has asked me to attend her birth next year and my mum is attending another one at Christmas (for a friend who's parents live in Yorkshire). If you decide not to go down the doula route, my mother a practice manager at a doctors surgery will always be available if you need someone to hold your hand and if you need a chat or are worried about afterwards I'm always here for a chat. I know how some of my friends who's parents aren't local find things difficult and a bit lonely. If you haven't as yet sign up for an NCT class there are 7 couples in mine and strange as it seems, we all speak every day and even go on weekends away with our ever growing families.
Good luck
Lisa x

Wow! Thanks for your two cents Lisa! Really appreciate other women sharing their experiences. I'm not sure why women are conditioned to think that they'll win a medal for not asking for epidural. I feel there's no shame in that! I would personally ask for it if I can't cope although I am considering a water birth even though my midwife doesn't have the time of day to answer my questions. She waves me off the moment our 15 minutes is up! I am skeptical about hypnotherapy although that probably varies with the individual. It can't hurt to try. Thank you for offering your mother's services! That is very kind! I might take you up on the offer when the time approaches and if we don't meet any doula that we like.

It's not that an epidural is the devils drugs, it's just that when you have an epidural it causes so many more unnecessary complications!

Have you looked on www.doula.org.uk? I think it is all just about how you bond with that certain person, not who recommends them / how many births they've attended etc.

Good luck