Your 'bits' after birth

[CakeandRoses]

I'm mulling over whether to have a elective CS for DC2 (I'm currently 27 weeks pregant) after an emergency CS with DS1 18 months ago.

Although my original CS op was pretty traumatic, my recovery was great: maneagable pain, up and about very quickly and now have a neat scar.

Although I'd hoped for a water birth/no drugs first time round, that didn't happen and I've realised it doesn't really matter to me - I was just pleased to have a healthy son at the end of it. I'm only even thinking about a natural birth due to the fact the recovery could be quicker which will make things easier with looking after 2 DC.

My main concern about VBAC is whether it will actually proceed ok or whether I'll end up having an awful experience and/or another CS anyway - which would make me soooo cross! There's tons of threads/info on this which I've been reading but ultimately it's a gamble I just have to decide whether to take or not.

My other concern is a little more delicate!

I've already got a CS scar and went thru the original CS recovery so I know what to expect and I know I can cope with that again. I'm not sure I'm up for an old scar plus mangled bits and a complicated recovery 'down there' after a VBAC!

I really want to know how bad your bits/sex-life/recovery was after natural birth.

It's not the type of thing I'm sure if friends would want to talk about but I'm hoping it'll be easier online.

Hi,

I had a small tear (less than a cm) at the back of the opening to my vagina, and something described as a "graze" on the inside. i had no stitches and it healed naturally. About 10 days were pretty stingy went I went to the loo, but not agonising. I didn't have infections or anything, but things felt pretty tender, and bruised down there for about 6-8 weeks, IIRC. I had sex again for the first time after 8 weeks, and it was "OK", probably because I was a bit anxious. Now sex is absolutely fine, unless we use any vigorous "from behind" positions for too long or too frequently, as it rubs a bit. There isn't a scar as such, just a kind of harder lump of skin. My DH can't tell it's there. He also says it doesn't feel "looser" or anything down there - he can't tell the difference at all.

Not sure if that was what you were looking for .

I had an em c-s with DD1 then VBAC for DDs 2 and 3. I really struggled to cope after my c-s, despite a supportive DH and parents/PsIL.

My VBACs were much easier to recover from, for me. I had a second degree tear and PPH with DD2 and my stitches also got infected. Would still rate it as easier to recover from than my c-s. Took a while for my bits to recover but recover they did! Wouild agree with the previous poster, certain positions can 'rub' a bit on the scar so I have to move but it doesn't really hamper anything. Obviously not that much, as we went on to have DD3 afterwards and that was a cakewalk

I think you will find arguments for both sides here so you really need to go for what you feel most comfortable with.

FWIW I had a CS with dd and a very simple recovery like you. With ds I was anxious to have VBAC (not that there was any suggestion of doing otherwise) so as to have a quick recovery afterwards with 2 dc to look after. In the event though, while I did manage a VBAC - I tore and had a very uncomfortable time for a lot longer than with the CS.

Having said all that - don't trivialise the concept of surgery like a CS, and also the lack of being able to drive for 6 weeks afterwards would have been a nightmare for me.

My 'bits' while fully healed are not what they were...but that does not stop me having the best sex life I have ever had since then.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

My bits are fully healed and normal (1st degree tear no stitches) DS born just over 2 weeks ago, will probably wait another week for sex as still very small amounts of lochia.

After DD 2nd degree tear plus grazes plus bruishing - sex was fine after 6 week check. But your bits are never quite the same after a VB.

BTW - can drive earlier with CS - couple of mums at DC's school cleared to drive by dr after 3 weeks and insurance ok with this.

I had a episiotomy, stitching took quite a while. Recovery was fine, bit uncomfortable for a few days, but I did go for a mile long walk when dd was only 3 days old, so it can't have been that bad! I now have a scar but it doesn't affect me in any way and DH couldn't even tell where it was until I pointed it out to him.

I have never had a CS, and my natural labour didn't go as I had hoped, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It was a really bonding experience for me and DH and I am looking forward to doing it again. Personally, I don't think I would ever choose a CS.

I appreciate it is a very personal choice, but don't let a fear of mangled bits put you off, it really isn't that bad.

I had a vbac and I had a couple of 'grazes' and a stitch to my labia. I had to pour water whilst I pe'ed and it took a couple of weeks to heal. It was a real novelty to get up and have a shower and be there for lots of cuddles etc for DC1 after the birth. It took 4 months to have sex without KY jelly and we just had to go slowly slowly as these 'grazes' scar tissue was a bit tender.

Our sex life is better now but we had to go quite gingerly for a while.

I am preg with DC3 and want another vbac due to the overall recovery time. Also, the hormones associated with natural birth were overwhelming. I have never felt on such a high than straight after I gave birth. The labour pain was unbearable and it was a real horror movie scene, but once the baby is out, it was paradise.

I think if I was really worried about my bits (they're alright but they don't look the best now) and I wasn't a coward then I would have a planned c-section. I recovered really quickly from my emcs and was fine after a week. It was quite a slow recovery for my bits in comparison. I don't regret my vbac though. One of my friends got an infection in her c-section scar and her bowel popped out and she had to have more surgery. This is obviously unusual, but that image stays inmy mind !

Definitely took about 6 weeks for bruising to go away completely for me both times. I had an episiotomy the first time which I would really recommend you try to avoid as it took me 5 weeks to be able to sit down properly . Second time I had a first degree tear, healed in a week.
2 years after all that though, although my bits are definitely a bit different to what they were, sex-wise I have had no complaints at all from my partner, and for some reason I actually find sex better than before. Clitoris seems to work better somehow. Don't know if that's because it got a good stretching (!) during birth, or because of all the PF exersises I've done...

Vbac or not is a tricky one isn't it... good luck whichever way you choose.

Thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply on this - I know it's not the nicest of topics!

Until reading your posts, I hadn't even realised that a tear/cut down there could result in a scar!

MumNWLondon - that's really interesting re driving/3 weeks. I'm sure I would have been physically ok at 3 weeks last time but I didn't realise it was even an option. Will certainly check with docs/insurance next time if I do have another CS.

nubbins - I get what you're saying about the experience of natural birth and prior to the CS I was so pro-natural you wouldn't believe that I could possibly be thinking of an elective now! But... the CS turned out to the best part of the entire (very scary) labour! I didn't feel particularly drugged-up or woozy afterwards (maybe cos I hadn't taken gas/air/pethidine, only the CS drugs?) and I bonded with my DS1 immediately, had a total post-birth high and had no problems with breastfeeding (ended up BF for 14 months). Oh and DH thought I was such a Goddess for going thru it all soooo bravely (esp compared to him!) that it kind of bonded us too.

I don't mean to diminish the experience of a natural birth as obviously I don't know what's it's like but I'm saying after my experience post-CS was actually great, to my surprise!

tbh you can think and plan all you like but there is always a small risk either way isn't there? I had a vb, ended up with a ventouse and a second degree tear. There is a difference down there but i'm not sure it makes any difference iyswim?