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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

How could I not have noticed......

17 replies

swissmiss · 21/04/2010 22:50

..... was talking with my BFF and DH last night about having the DCs. DH pipes up that there were problems with all 3 births. I contradicted him and said no, just 1 & 3, what do you mean. He tried to shut up but I made him explain and he comes out with "well there was the point when DC2, as she was lying on your chest, turned blue and stopped breathing. I pointed it out the the m/w who then whisked her off to the isolette and gave her oxygen! I do wonder how long it would've been before it would've been picked up on by them"
I am in complete . I knew/recall NOTHING about the incident. Am feeling really confused.
Surely I should have at least noticed? I remember them taking her temp and saying she was a bit cool and putting a hat on her but not this.

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ronshar · 21/04/2010 23:01

Dont worry. I had the same experience with my DH.

Apparently when I had DD1, 10 1/2 years ago, I had a 27 hour labour and dont actually remember dd being taken away for ages. Dh told me a few weeks ago. I was totally[shocked]

No idea what went on.

Never mind all good and 3 children later.

Still a shock though isnt it.
Not the magical experience they sell to us at all is it?

Valpollicella · 21/04/2010 23:11

DS was born under simlilar circs, and DP still refuses to this day to talk about it.

I have NO recollection and all I has was gG&A....None, Whatsoever. Apparently I was very vocal and said BAD things, but no idea about them

Original poster

swissmiss · 21/04/2010 23:15

Thanks ronshar. It's a total shock, I'm glad I didn't actually quite believe the "magical experience" line that gets spun. Nice to hear all's good now. Am in the throws of treatment for PTSD following awful time with DC3's arrival so I'm kinda edgy about my L&D's anyway.

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Original poster

swissmiss · 21/04/2010 23:16

Sounds a bit like my DH, Val. This was the first time he's ever ever talked 4+ yrs later.

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ronshar · 21/04/2010 23:33

Yep DH is terrified about the whole birth thing. DD1 labour & birth was a bloody nightmare. Poor man.
I'm quite grateful that I cant really remember it.
DD2 was a HB so it was lovely. Ds was a 4 hour, no messing and no time to really think about it all.

I have taken the position that it was a neccesary journey to give me my beautiful children. Sounds mushy but it takes away the nightmares.

You will get through it. Keep giving the babies lots of hugs and kisses.

Original poster

swissmiss · 21/04/2010 23:39

Thanks for your support ronshar. That's a sound point of view, not mushy at all imo. Time for me to get off MN, go check my lovelies with a hug and kiss and get some sleep.

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girlsyearapart · 22/04/2010 08:08

I wouldn't feel bad at all about it- when dd2 was born I had a pph cos of retained placenta and was taken to theatre to remove it leaving her with my dh and sister.

I thought I had missed all her first moments feed,cuddle,clothes etc but according to my sister I was given her to cuddle but was so out of it that my sister took her off me, was also there for first clothes but can't remember at all.

It is sad but if you have healthy babies at the end of it all it can be forgotten.

Northernlurker · 22/04/2010 08:19

You can always ask for your notes and look through them? That can be a way of putting back any pieces you're missing.

Original poster

swissmiss · 22/04/2010 11:33

Girlsyearapart - yes it's sad but true, however i wish the forgetting was easier. Don't get me wrong I'm very greatful that I've come through with 3 healthy happy DCs I'm just aghast that I missed something like my baby stopping breathing.

Northern - i fully intend to get copies of my notes, but have to wait until I can afford the £50 they demand as as admin fee!

OP posts:

girlsyearapart · 23/04/2010 07:55

Sorry swissmiss didn't mean to sound flippant.

The forgetting is hard- especially now I'm 25 wks with dc3 it's all coming back to me. Just hoping history doesn't repeat itself.

Original poster

swissmiss · 23/04/2010 11:18

girls I realise you didn't but thanks for saying so Hope all goes well for the arrival of DC3.

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girlsyearapart · 23/04/2010 19:29

we shall see in about 15 more weeks.. keep you posted

asuwere · 24/04/2010 21:32

swissmiss - have you actually checked with your hospital about your notes? £50 is the maximum they can charge but it might be a lot less - I think I had to pay £15 for DS1's notes. Also, you can ask to just view your notes and that's free. If you do view them, you can also request to just copy a couple of pages in which case they would just charge pence. Definately worth looking into as I found reading the notes an enormous help in trying to deal with PTSD.

Good luck

Rockbird · 24/04/2010 21:38

I've got my notes, wanted to see why DD, with an Apgar of 8 and no other issues was taken away for 20 minutes straight after birth and a paediatrician called. No one told us anything before, during or after, not even if it was a boy or a girl (we knew but they didn't know that). She was eventually handed back without comment. My notes say nothing about this at all.

Funny how things don't really sink in. DD's birth, although not problematic in a life threatening sense, was a nightmare from walking through the doors to walking out again. She is gone two now and it's still only hitting me how awful it was.

Original poster

swissmiss · 25/04/2010 21:16

asuwere it's encouraging to hear that going through your notes helped you. PTSD just sucks imho. good point about £50 being max cost, thanks. i want my pre/intra/post natal notes x3 plus those of each of 3dcs there is no way it'll come in under the max. figure (says the cynic in me)! I have thought about going and viewing them but I know it'll bring up so much emotional crap I need time to go through them slowly iykwim. I've actually requested the form ages and ages ago but haven't yet completed it. dh bought a ps3 48hrs ago as he thought we were doing ok on the money front atm (I disagree!), so in all honesty there is no good reason why i shouldn't get my notes "ordered" at once

rock that's just shocking. sorry to hear you had such a nightmare. did you ever check you DD's notes? they run a separate notes file for the baby, so i wouldn't particularly expect info on her to be in your file. hope that makes sense.

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bigcar · 26/04/2010 14:46

swissmiss, just as an aside, I got the notes for all my 5 dcs and they charged me £25 so you never know! I think it helped once they knew I had no plans of making a complaint or suing And the babies basic postnatal notes were on my file. Your dh sounds a bit like mine, not a clue on the money front and loves his ps3

Original poster

swissmiss · 26/04/2010 17:47

bigcar - at our dh's.

this morning i hunted out the paperwork i'd rec'd. they'll charge 15p per page copied. that'd be 333 pages to get to £50, so it'll prob. come in cheaper. just booked appt with GP for next weds so i'll take it along then to get it countersigned.

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