DH might not be able to make birth of DC2, thinking about booking a Doula... any thoughts?

[MonkeyChicken]

My DH may not be able to make the birth of our second child (or if he does it may be fairly last minute). I'm not due till 11 Aug so have a bit of time to organise alternatives. I don't want to insult family but I have a very rocky relationship with my mum and my best friend already said she wouldn't want to be my birth partner, a couple of other friends have offered but I'm not sure how serious they are. I think the best options may be to book the services of a Doula. My first birth wasn't great so I am a little anxious about the birth. My local hospital now no longer has a maternity dept and I face a possibly nasty car journey of over an hour. (Can't have home birth or birthing centre birth due to problems with first birth.)

I'm just really looking for reassuring comments abouts Doulas. How much do they cost? Can they ever drive you to the hospital? (I'm guessing their insurance doesn't cover this.) And is anyone else facing a birth that their partner will not be able to attend. (I guess those in the military must deal with this all the time.)

2nd time birth just seems a bit of a logistical nightmare what with childcare for DD, travelling to hospital and no birthing partner...!

Thanks.

I have hired a doula for my birth in may and she has agreed to do whatever we need her to do at the time. Be it childcare, making tea, birth support or nothing.

When I contacted doula's though, some said they really only 'do' birth support and nothing else, so it really seems to depend on who is in your area.

You have nothing to lose in contacting doula's in your area and asking questions. Around my area it costs about £500, less for a trainee. But it probably varies.

I had an ambulance take me to hospital for my first birth as my then dp didn't drive and taxi's wouldn't take me. Could a friend be on standby to drop you off, even if they don't stay for the birth?

I had a doula (DH didn't want to be there, but in the end went in and out as he felt necessary), and she was fab. I paid 500 quid nearly 4 years ago.

Don't know about driving you - I went into prem labour, and the hospital would have sent an ambulance, but my colleague came and took me and waited till DH turned up (and he was dead proud about this and still tells the story now). My doula then turned out in the middle of the night when I went into proper labour and was totally invaluable - did all the things you'd wish for, esp like making sure I actually got a cuppa afterwards, and helping me have a bath

Best place to find out about doulas is Doula UK, doula.org.uk. Lots of info there but you can also find a local doula on their Find a Doula pages and have a chat with one of them - email or phone - and see what they are able to offer. If the one you speak to isn't available, she may be able to signpost you to someone who is.

Best of luck

Hi MonkeyChicken. Best to have a look on the DoulaUK website. You can search by region for Doulas. Those that are not highlighted in yellow are trainees and therefore cheaper than fully qualified Doulas. There is also a hardship fund they offer to help mums-to-be finance their services. PM me if you have any further questions. Kate

I'm interviewing four Doulas next weekend. All very encouraging at this stage. Some of them can even drive me to the hospital. They are priced between £200 - £500. I didn't realise how reasonably priced Doulas were. The more I learn about them, the more I think they would've been really beneficial the first time round. I might even book a little bit of postnatal Doulaing too. Some only charge £10 per hour which is less than a cleaner!!! (Not that we have a cleaner.) Thanks for all your posts.

monkey I am a Doula and my insurance doesn't cover me transporting clients to hospital in labour. I would check with each individual if I were you.

The other option is for her to drive to you and you both get in a cab to the hospital, that way she can support you properly instead of trying to drive with you labouring heavily, (we would hope by the time you transfer). That would be my preferred option for someone with no car of their own.

I hope you find someone lovely, what area of the country are oyu?