Homebirth booked ... starting to panic about childcare though!

[ScarlettCrossbones]

I'm 37 weeks with DC3. DC2 was born at home and DP missed the actual moment of birth because DC1 decided to get up early for his breakfast!! (Think he'd been woken by all the commotion in the house.) I reeeeeally don't want DP to miss it this time, no more DC planned after this, but I'm worried the same sort of thing might happen again.

If I'm in active labour at sort of midnight to 4am-ish (which is highly likely; both previous labours started during the night so I'm convinced this one will too!) the plan is for DP's mother to come and take the kids away ... however, I'm starting to imagine scenes of tantrumming, kicking and screaming as they're dragged away, from being woken up in the middle of the night! You might think we should just leave them sleeping, but what if they then wake up when I'm close to giving birth, and won't be placated by telly (the default fallback option for childbirth ) but are crying/scrabbling at the door of whichever room I'm in, trying to concentrate on pushing! I'm worried about DS in particular; he's nearly 5 and already claims he "wants to see the baby coming out", which is just not going to happen, I'd be too distracted with him or his sis in the room!

And DP is now admitting that he thinks the simplest idea would just be for my mum or his mum to come during the night, stay with the sleeping kids and for me just to go and have it in hospital! I'm not at all against hosp births, but surely we can find a better solution ...??

Any tips/words of advice??

Thanks, D0G ? our house is pretty small and I'd feel v v inhibited knowing my mum was around while I was in labour, tbh! The only other person I want in the house awake is DP!

The exciting toy thing sounds like a good possibility though ... hm, as noisy and garishly-coloured as poss I think ... thanks!

is hospital only other option? No birthcentre option? We have birth centre which is like home from home - only you and midwives but no mess to worry about. Someone gets you breakfast and cups of tea and there are no other kids to worry about. Bit of time (probably only time) when it is just you and new baby. Bliss. Gosh I am almost excited.....good luck

Esme, I don't think there's anywhere like that where I live. It seems a shame, though, to forego a homebirth just due to the "inconvenience" (for want of a better word!) of having two children to deal with! I feel I should be able to come up with a suitable solution for all concerned! It's not a problem if I'm in labour during the day, that would be great and there's loads of places they can go, but I'm just not hopeful. I think women tend to follow patterns of when they go into labour, don't they?

I do understand about it just being you and the baby for a while, though ... after DC2 was born I was sweeping the floor the next day and doing stuff I kind of felt obliged to because I was at home! Am really going to try and put my feet up this time (last time!). Thanks.

oh no, having read this I've started worrying too - - I had the opposite view really, I was thinking if it was the middle of the night HB would be best option as kids would just sleep, but if in day go to hospital so can have a rest and not be up sweeping the floors (I def would be like that). Had not even considered Dcs being up and wanting to watch!!
Not sure about patterns of labour folowing - had one at 3am one at midday. This one seems like it will never come out but that's a different story.
I think I am going to buy some new DVDs, and if there is a middle of the night waking they can watch on lap top til fall asleep - they will think that is the best thing ever Hopefully they will just sleep through.

Hi Scarlett, I'm 36+2 with DC3, and am also planning a home water birth!

(pending breech baby scan in the morning!)

My DS1(10yrs) and DS2(2yrs)will be asleep in thier beds while I gently breathe the baby out!

Yeah right! I will probably wake them up with that 'mooing' noise and chaos will commence! We have asked DH's mum to be on standby, fortunatley we have a big(ish) house and I'm planning on giving birth in the dining room in the birthing pool!

But, like you I am worried about the children becoming distressed but just hope that they can be entertained without it becoming too stressful for me!

Have you got any story tapes they could listen too, in the event they do wake up, even better if you have the time maybe record your voice reading a favourite story? It may give you the time/space you need but they are still getting your 'attention' iyswim?

It Would drown out any 'noise' as well!

Good luck!

Why not have her on standby...

if it starts during early evening then put them to bed at hers.

if it starts during the night and they are asleep then leave them there.

call her only if you need to go to hospital (she can come and babysit) or if they wake up (she can come and take them away).

I just had to call our lovely nanny at 3am to come and look after DC who are both fab sleepers and I really regretting not organising homebirth (as they would have then woken up to meet new brother in the morning) instead of waking up to find mummy and daddy not there (and nanny looking after them).

i would just see how it goes to be honest. my second and third were both homebirhts too, with the first i went into labour early morning, rang my mum and she came and got ds1.
with the next one i had a short 45 min labour and baby was there when the other 2 woke up!

you just don't know how it'll pan out.
If i were in your situation though I would plan on keeping the children at home, and then IF they wake up ring dp's mum to come and be with them. or, get her over straight away, and have her sleep upstairs and be there for them

Scarlett - I am in similar situation. 37 weeks pg with dc3.
My plan is to see how it goes - neither dc1 or 2 are great sleepers but the thought of having my mum turn up in the night to take them (our only babysitter option) does not bode well for anyone.

My thought if I have to transfer is that dh will stay with the kids and I will go the hospital. Not ideal though.

Thanks ? some very good ideas there!

morethemerrier I hope your scan goes well ? mine was also breech till about four weeks ago ? good luck!

Yep, new DVDs of something unmissable, story tapes ... I'm starting to relax a bit now.

thisisyesterday, can I have a labour like that, please?!

And katgod, hope you're not waiting much longer. That's good to hear about the very different birth timings though. I would so love to go into labour about 8 or 9am, something civilised like that, after a full night's sleep ... but we'll see!

I would have mother on call to take kids as soon as they wake up.
My 3yr old came in and starting trying to kick the birthing ball around while I was sitting on it and near transition!
You absolutely do NOT need the stress at that point.
If the kids are gonna kick and scream on the way out then just tell mum to do it quickly.
I had to tell my sister quite seriously between contraction 'take him upstairs please'.
I shouldn't have had to do that, it disrupted my breathing and I got very anxious and it hurt more for a good 5 minutes, I was in a state.

Hopefully your mother will stay over and not let the kids near you at such a point and if they can be heard fromupstairs then take them out.
They will get over the disruption of possibly being moved at an awkward hour.
Your birth and you being c alm and relaxed is FAR more important.
Imagine ditching a homebirth for not wanting to wake kids up and move them early, please, you'll regret not having the birth you want, kids aren't likely to be too distrught at being woken up eaerly and taken for once, they'll forget within days.

it wasn't good! my second birth was 6 hours, very calm, fairly easy despite him being back to back, all very lovely, it's what prompted me to have another baby so quickly afterwards! lol

the last one was really, really intense. I woke having a major contraction and it just didn't stop, they were really difficult to cope with. A gradual build-up is much better IMO!!!

frankly if you went into hospital they'd probably still wake up, and if you are inhibited by other people hearing you...that may be a problm in hospital (if your house is really small, the front door can't open & close withourt everyone knowing.) - i think what this is yesterday suggests is sensible - though they'll be upset at being woken, they may find it exciting to be whisked away to grannys house....and its only one night.

i hope to give birth at night, though realistically i doubt my kids will sleep through it (not even my noise, but the door, the midwife coming, the dog realises something is afoot and woofs because she wants to be involved...etc..)

My 3 dc were sitting in the room below and I heard excited squeals when they heard new baby crying. Twas lovely!

My mother entertained them all downstairs whilst Igave birth upstairs. I make no noise in labour so I don't think they had much clue what was actually going on.