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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Left unstitched- bit annoyed

12 replies

mumtotwoboys · 17/04/2010 10:24

So after my very fast homebirth (before midwives arrives) they had a look and said I'd torn about an inch into the perinium, and they wrote 2nd degree.
I asked about stitches and the midwife said 'oh most people who homebirth just want to be left alone' but said she'd come back in a few hours and have a look.
She came back and I said I was getting worried it would heal too much to be stitched while she was gone, she said 'oh you want stitches?' (yes like I told her)
she goes 'well I'm finished for the day now if I do that I'll have to go away and make childcare arrangements and come back'
She had another look and told me 'oh it's only a little nic, it will heal naturally, we only stitch if we absolutely have to.
So she left.
I looked in the mirror and I'm split right down an inch or so like she said origonally.
I know it will heal, but it will heal open!
It's all bloody horrible and open, it looks like I have yet another set on hangy bits, it's awful!

The midwife last time (w/3yo) was nice enough to stitch me even though she admitted it was mostly cosmetic.
I hate this woman leaving me like this!
I'm so annoyed she couldn't be bothered so now I'm all left open and horrible. I'll never go near a man again, I'm not SO bothered now, but in future this come be quite depressing.
Is that it? and I can't get stitches now?
He's three days old.

OP posts:
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justallovertheplace · 17/04/2010 10:28

You have broken the cardinal sin of childbirth- NEVER get a mirror and look so soon afterwards. You will see a severely traumatised fanjo. Leave it a few months. I wasn't stitched after my second, having been stitched with my first, and tbh it healed much quicker and nicer.

mumtotwoboys · 17/04/2010 10:33

lol, I didn't dare look after previous births, but I wanted to see if she was lying!
It's so open I can't believe it.

It will heal, but heal all open right?

OP posts:
EccentricaGallumbits · 17/04/2010 10:33

when you squat down (to look) is it more open than when you are standing or sittng with your legs together If it is then it should heal closed up.

Could you wait a couple of weeks and see how the natural healing is doing beofre deciding?
You can ask your cmmunity midwife or GP to refer you back to the obstetrician for them to have a look and see if it needs stitching.

mumtotwoboys · 17/04/2010 10:46

she said it closes when I close my legs.
But surely for a wound to heal closed it needs to be held together.

I'm worried it will heal apart, and then it technically won't be a wound anymore so they'll say 'it's fine'

OP posts:
DaisymooSteiner · 17/04/2010 10:55

If you want a second opinion then I would suggest phoning your labour ward and they will probably see you there or the on-call midwife (as long as it's a different one to your regular one) and ask her to come out and assess it.

freelancescientist · 17/04/2010 15:04

I was stitched after my 2nd when I tore at the episiotomy site from my 1st, but 3 days after, all the stitches came away and I could feel it gaping.

The community midwife had a look, and got me antibiotics cos it looked a bit angry, but honestly it healed fine - and I didn't look but it felt like an inch/inch and a half. It hasn't healed open by the way!! The healing fills in from the base of the tear up to the top and knits it all together.

GenevieveHawkings · 17/04/2010 15:15

I'm sure you could get a second opinion on this.

I've heard about people being taken in months afterwards when things haven't healed up right and being patched up properly.

The thing you have to watch out for is that it heals (which it undoubtedly will) - but not as you'd like - and then it becomes a cosmetic thing when it's all bobbly and lumpy down there. I doubt anyone would be willing to do anything to intervene to sort it out then as long as it was still "functional" if you know what I mean.

If I were in your shoes I wouldn't leave it too much longer to get that second opinion if you're going to.

notjustapuppymum · 17/04/2010 19:11

Get a second opinion, phone your on call midwife.

I was left unstitched for a much smaller wound and it didn't heal right on it's own and I ended up having corrective surgery under a spinal 4 months later.

EssieW · 17/04/2010 19:27

I didn't have stitches for a 2nd degree tear but was under strict instructions not to go downstairs and to lie down as much as possible. It was fine, and healed better (and more comfortably) than my first birth when I did have stitches.

Not saying you should do this if you don't want - so phone the midwife if you want it looked at.

LittleSilver · 17/04/2010 19:34

Your midwife sounds very unprofessional. I would have a DR look at it (though prob not a GP), not a midwife.

LittleSilver · 17/04/2010 19:47

Sorry, should add that my experience is coloured by having a mw diagnose a 3rd degre etear as 2nd and having to have it re-done 6 months later under a GA. O

mama2moo · 17/04/2010 21:39

Phone the labour ward and tell them you are going in for a 2nd opinion. I had a 1st degree tear 2 months ago that was left. I know it should have been stitched because it doesnt feel right. With my 1st dd I had a 2nd degree and was stitched.

Your mw was obviously more worried about her child care then your bits.

I would also consider a complaint about her if it turns out you do need stitches.

I hope it all works out for you

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