antenatal classes

[nubbins]

hi all,

I've been lying in bed with heartburn/nausea and low blood pressure, and my mind has been wondering.

at my antenatal classes the main topic has been 'normal' labour and birth. I have had 2 non-textbook labours and really can't relate to anything the teacher was saying! there were only 3 mums with older kids there and we kept getting asked about our experiences. I try not to say too much for fear of scaring the first timers, one lady had a ceasarean and the other said she was terrified of the birth and it was traumatic. So the teacher would ask us, and then say "well that's not typical of what usually happens"

Anyway, Given that so many women seem to be upset by their birth experiences, and that normal birth is covered in so many books, wouldn't it be better for actual face to face classes to cover how to deal with the unexpected and reassurance that even when things don't go to plan, it's not the end of the world?

i'm also fed up of hearing "the midwives will help you with your breathing and positions" when i have only had one suggestion of a change of position for my benefit, in 2 very long labours, but planty of advice to make it easier for them to examine me or get the monitor to stay put!

anyway, musings over, I just feel so sorry for these terrified first time mums who are told that things will probably be textbook, but are given no tools to cope if it's not.

I know what you mean about this. Had a hideous labour - latent stage days long and crushingly painful (including stabbing pains in bladder from baby in wrong position. Nice!), no progress, ARM, syntocinon, epidural, forceps.

My teacher said that it's really hard. You want to have people going in with a positive mindset, because if they don't things are even more likely to go badly. OTOH, you do want to be realistic.

TBH, I think it's hard for them. The one thing I wish my class had done differently was say "You might get a good midwife, you might get a disinterested locum. Do not rely on them to be your support in labour. It's gambling a lot on a random shift allocation. Particularly if you are progressing slowly and they don't think much interesting is going on." I'm glad she was quite positive about things, but I wish, wish, wish I had thought about a homebirth and hired a doula. I might not have got my homebirth, but am almost certain a doula would have made things better. Not once in the whole 12 hour shift of the first midwife I had did she do anything other than treat me like a nuisance/an overly wimpy child.

Sorry, rant over. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm glad they're positive, but I wish they'd been more realistic about what support you might get from the NHS. They are soooo keen in my NCT area to have a good relationship with the local hospitals that they totally gloss over how f'ing shitty some of the care is.

And breathe...