Worried about first labour

[waitingimpatiently]

Hi,
I'm currently experiencing my first pregnancy and I'm really panicking about the labour part.

I'm expecting a difficult labour, as they seem to run in the family, but I was wondering if anyone knew any tips to maybe make it faster, and less painful.

Obviously I'm not expecting it to be a breeze, but I sit there watching things and start hysterically crying phoning my boyfriend telling him I can't do it. I'm really scared about it!

Is this normal? Can anyone offer any helpful advice?

Thanks.

I found ante-natal yoga classes really helpful for relaxing breathing exercises, discussing positions for birth and comfort while pregnant. I also listened to hypnobirthing CDs which I found really relaxing.
I have had 2 lovely births but know I am lucky. Each time I drank raspberry leaf tea and can't prove it helped but am not willing to try without to prove the difference!
If you are worried about tearing then evening primrose oil supplements are supposed to help.
If information will help you then book for NCT and NHS classes, hospital tours. They're also a good place to meet to her people in the same position as you, and maybe people who have been there and can offer some reassurance?

Worrying is the worst possible thing to do.

I hope your labour is better than you're expecting

hi iv recently given birth to my 1st baby 1week ago and i too were terrified. long labors run in my family too but mine was only 12 hours including early labor, established laborwas only 4-5hours, so family history is nothing, each woman is different, it depends on your body and your baby, not your mums or whoevers.
The best advice i can give you for now is, relax and make a birthplan so you feel more mentally and physically prepared. and the best advice i can give you for the labor is to listen to the MW's and keep calm. If you want it to move along as quick as possible than walk around, keep moving, dont just lay there and be scared of each pain you get, just think of every pain you get the closer you are to meeting your long awaited baby. good luck and all the best, i hope iv helped a little i know how daunting it is. x

Tiggz - CONGRATULATIONS - so glad you are back, wondering how you got on? Did you have a boy or a girl? Please come back and tell us.

okay thankyou where do i go to tell you all what post? x

calm down - please don't panic..... no reason it will be awful. i agree with tiggz important to keep on moving around and changing position, and take each contraction one at a time. if you go to pieces in labour it will be dreadful so important to stay calm.

i have just read "spiritual midwifery" by ina may gaskin. its a bit hippy perhaps but full of lovely calm natural birth stories which had made me look forward to the birth.

i too have always done raspberry leaf tea - supposed to make labour quicker - even my first labour was only 12 hours from first contraction to baby and only 5-6 hours of this was established labour. agree also re: hypnptheraphy - helps you learn relaxation techniques which can be useful in labour too.

Please don't worry about the family history as it certainly didn't work out like that for me!My Mum had 3 straightforward labours and we were all on time give or take a few days,my DD was 11 days late and I ended up with a C section!I assumed I'd be ok cos of my Mum's experience!

Don't panic!Labour will start gradually (especially your first)so you will have time to get into the swing of things.

Aw, don't worry, it's normal to panic! I was terrified too. I did hypnotherapy which really helped me to sleep and to be less scared of the labour. Do as much preparation as you can like perineal massage, raspberry leaf tea, antenatal classes etc so that you feel mentally and physically prepared. A birth plan is a brilliant idea too, jot down anything important like what pain relief you want (if any). Trust your instincts and your body, thousands of years of evolution are on your side

I was very frightened & was convinced it would be awful.
I had 2 easy pregnancies, labours & births.
No tears or stitches with either.

Perineal massage, a good birthing partner & try to do as MW says as regards when not to push.

Look into hiring a tens machine. You can put it on at the first twinge of labour which might be a few hours before you go into hospital (assuming you are having hospital birth). At least you know you will have something straight away to help you cope

Definitely get a tens machine. They really take the edge off the labour pains. The water bath is good too, even if you don't want a water birth.

Remember though, that labour pains are not dis-similar to period pains. Unlike period pains, though, labour pains come and go. Even at their strongest, you get more time pain-free than in pain. If you just concentrate on each pain individually as it comes, you should be fine. Your body will find it's own way to cope (for example my arm decided to do a Hitler-style salute at each late-stage labour pain ).

Good luck!

If you worry and believe it is going to be awful then it probably will be!

You need to read lots of positive birth stories and focus on positive thoughts about the birth as much as you can.
Avoid negative imagery/books/people as much as possible and try yoga, hypnobirthing cd's and just generally remembering that you're going to have a baby the most amazing thing in the world, a little person you have created, it truly is awesome in everyway.

Good luck and try to enjoy the experience of labour - yes it is intense but also amazing and life changing, beautiful, inspiring and ultimately you feel invincible - look what you did you grew a baby and then you gave birth to a baby there is nothing else like it xxxxxx

Hi - I too was absolutely terrified about labour and used to cry at the prospect. I decided that I was going to have an epidural at the first sign of the pain becoming unbearable. I was once told by doctor that I had a low pain threshold and that didn't help.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated. I agreed with the midwife that I'd tell him when I wanted an epidural because I could no longer cope using gas and air and a tens machine. That moment never came and I ended up delivering without the planned epidural. I have such a positive memory of the experience and wouldn't worry or feel scared about doing it again.

My advice would echo the messages above. Take each contraction as it comes. Stay active - I didn't sit or lie down once during my labour and I'm sure that's why it was relatively quick - 3-4 hours of active labour. Don't give up on gas and air without giving it a proper chance - as soon as you feel a contraction coming start breathing it really slowly and deeply. Most of all, be open to whatever happens - do whatever makes it work for you - ie. don't be a martyr about pain.

Remember for every hard birth experience there are ten normal, positive ones. They just aren't as interesting so don't make it onto programmes like one born every minute or get talked about.

Most of all, don't worry - worrying is wasted energy and you should be enjoying the last days of your fabulous pregnancy before the chaos starts!

Hi - I was also terified before having my first, it must be be normal to feel like this! I was scared it would be sore (it was!). But it's true to say that it's the quickest forgotten pain, as most go onto to have more babies - I'm onto no 3 now!
My advise would be to be flexible with your birthplan, and be open to all analgesic options!
Also they say towards the end it can help to spend time on all fours, as this can encourage the baby into a favourable position.
Yoga may be a good option as it may help you relax, and it may be good to meet other first-timers as well, for a bit of moral support!
I kept a diary which was a good way of offloading my concerns, I suppose, and fun to look back on!
I would try not to worry, enjoy your pregnancy, and rest as much as you can!
Best of luck!