Home birth - wavering

[strawberrykate]

I know it's been re-hashed a squillion times but I'm wavering over the idea of a home-birth.

Intially I was very very sure, my natural gut feeling is that I'm inclined to panic and tense in a hospital environment and I can relax more at home. My logic is that being more relaxed and comfortable in my enviroment will result in a higher chance of a positive birth experience. I feel postive about what my body can do and I don't fear labour. I'm a realistic person, and weighing up options it seems like a good idea.

However, I have had a LOT of people being negative about the idea with the whole what if something goes wrong, isn't it selfish viewpoints. There's a part of me that's letting them plant seeds of doubt with all their horror stories and nightmare situations. Basically saying I'll never forgive myself if baby is not ok.

Basic info:
-I'm 33 weeks, not a single problem, very textbook pregnancy
-dh is supportive of whatever I do
-I live in a large city in easy reach (10min max?) of hospital
-community midwife is supportive and someone I have a natural instinct to trust.

Please can people give me BOTH points of view, speak freely about your opinioms, I won't be offended or scared by them as I have asked for them. Also I'd be hugely grateful to anyone who has an experience of homebirth to share, particularly if anyone was transferred.

Thank you in advance to anyone who shares a view or experience. I just feel I need to talk this out and it's hard to do so in rl as most people I know are very biased against (to the extent of refusing to discuss ot or listen to facts). Dh is good but being a man doesn't quite understand all my feelings!

opps-typos galore....

I have had four home births. For me, when going into labour, the very last thing on earth I want to do is to go into a hospital full of strangers and metal implements with bright lights and bleepy machinery.

I think you just have to go with your gut feeling and ignore the Oh-My-God-What-if brigade.

Do you have good midwives who are
supportive? If not, could you consider independents? I know they are expensive but they were an absolute Godsend for me.

i think how you're feeling is very, very common.

i had wavers with my first homebirth, but would never have admitted it becauser i am far too stubborn and once i've decided to do something i bloody well do it! lol

people ARE negative about Hb, normally because they are uninformed. and their ignorance does not negate any of the reasons for you wanting a homebirth to start with

i had a horrid first labour in hospital.

i then had 2 wonderful homebirths. in fact, my second birth was so lovely that i wanted to do it again immediately- hence small age gap between ds2 and ds3!

10 minutes is NOTHING, it would take more than that for them to prep you and the theatre team in a hospital should the need arise

I've honestly never understood why so few women have home births as compared with hospital births.

I can recommend some good home birth books which helped me if you like. I know some people aren't keen on reading up about it as they'd rather experience their own birth before reading about those of others iyswim.

Despite the silly title, there are some good posts on this thread. LoopyMummy made an excellent post addressing the 'What if something goes wrong' question.

I had a home birth (VBAC). It was wonderful and I felt very calm and relaxed. The midwife showed up and set out all her equipment quietly in a corner including resuscitation equipment for both me and baby, so we knew it was there and she was ready to use it if needed.

Birth is risky whether at hospital or at home. Being in hospital carries risks of its own from unwanted intervention to stalled labour to MRSA. It also carries a much higher risk of caesarean.

We perceive home birth as being riskier because it's more in our own control and is deemed more of a choice away from the default. Several very strong studies published in the BMJ, Canadian Medical Journal and the Cochrane Review show that birth is statistically as safe at home as at hospital in terms of mortality, and is much safer with regards to morbidity (injury and complications).

Good luck with your choice

I did not even contemplate HB for my first baby. I was going to take any/every pain relief I was offered. In the event, I had an almost water-birth in hospital (meconium meant I had to get out to deliver, but she had crowned with waters intact, so it was only the very last bit). It was a fantastic experience - quite surprised me!

I went on to have two homebirths - in part because I knew I wanted to labour in a pool, and that could be guaranteed if I was at home with one, but not if I wanted the only pool in the hospital. And largely because the midwife was very supportive and encouraging of homebirths in general. There is nothing like cuddling up in your own bed with your brand new baby.

Thanks for the realy swift replies!

Spidermama- I forgot to say one of the reasons I'm warmed the idea of hb is meeting the midwife, she's very calm and pro home/ natural birth. Boderline encouraging it. I can get very tense around strangers touching me , esp. in a medical setting so this is a big thign for me. I fear the trooping in and out of many different people in a hospital.

thisisyeaterday-that was my feeling about the time from hospital, surely you'd be lucky to be inside a theatre inside half an hour even from labour ward.

carmen- my biggest fear of hospital is the cascade of intervention. My local hospital is notorious for being understaffed, it regularly closed the pools/ birthing unit and redirects people to the labour ward (a scary place of drip and bed confinement to me!).

I have this gut feeling that thought whilst birth is painful I can do it, I'm postive towards the idea. My fear is that potentially in a labour ward setting where I can lose all the natural aspects, e.g movement and relaxation, I can lose positivty and thus start o the slippery slope to problems. I'm not naive I belive about risks or think I'll have a lovely bath with candles whilst everything goes to plan, but I'm also aware that birth can be a positive experience and I want to do what I can to make it so.

purpleturtle-If I knew I could use a pool at the hospital I think I'd go there. I don't think I can deal with it being so hit or miss though. The idea of turning up for a waterbirth plan then being told actually they're understaffed and I'll be on labour ward is horrible. The idea of being in a medical setting surrounded by monitors is terrifying. I'd rather have the extra pain that deal with that! I'm the kind of person who doesn't even feel comfortable in a GP surgery (I've been in one more times during pregnancy that I have in the entire period from birth to falling pregnant!)

I've always thought the most important element in choosing where you have your baby is where you feel most comfortable. Those people who feel that they need to be in hospital "just-in-case" would probably have a harder time at home because their fear would interfere. There are so many studies showing that home birth is generally safer (for mother and baby) and easier, but people still tend to think it is a risk. Choosing a home birth is as much about how you cope with people disagreeing with your choice as it is about where you have your baby. I spent a few weeks working on a labour ward and it took half an hour for the "emergency" caesarian to be prepped and taken to theatre, (mostly to get the dr's cleaned and ready) so a 10 min ambulance ride shouldn't be too tricky.

Feeling comfortable about your choice in the face of others' disapproval is good practice for the rest of your life as a mother!

I had a book (Home Birth by Sally Wesson... I think) which was great. It was full of birth stories covering every angle; planned homebirths; accidental home births; twins; breach; even still births. I realise it may not suit everyone but it made me feel prepared for every eventuality and confident that I knew the choice I was making.

I had three home births and heartily recommend them. DH was convinced after the first and it was much better for him to be in his own home (making tea! and helping) rather than hanging around a hospital like a spare part. I had to transfer to hospital for a surgical third stage but it didn't feel pressured because of course DD had been born. My one night in hospital supported my decision not to be in hospital; women screaming; no-one to help me get to the loo after my spinal anaesthetic (I was buzzing for over 30 minutes before some one came); no sleep on a hot night with plastic mattress and pillow; lots of noise; over 20 intrusions in less than 14 hours, (midwife, obstetrician; anaesthetist; cleaners; bounty pack lady; photograppher (!); electrician) I was exhausted!

Home births meant I was tucked up in my comfy bed half an hour after delivery,, listening to the village church bells ringing... idyllic

My neighbour has 3 kids and her middle one was a home birth and she had a great experience, babies 1 & 3 arrived early so no opportunity for home birth.

I otoh enjoyed being in hospital, found it reassuring to be monitored (dc2 did actually need emergency caesarian, which was very quick but not at all stressful), enjoyed chatting to the other mums on the ward and felt quite lonely when discharged (very little paternal leave in those days). People are all different.

Oh, definitely worth reading some positive books too. I second Nicky Wesson's book, but also Birthing from Within is excellent and Ina May Gaskin's books are very encouraging!

It may not be for everyone but try logging on to www.mybirth.tv and watch some calm home births. they may negate the uninformed opinions of those around you.

Whenever I wavered about my decision before the birth, I always remembered that I could transfer at any point, and my labour would be no different to a typical hospital birth.

I attempted a HB with my first but transferred after a very long labour with slow progress. I then had the classic cascade of intervention ending in instrumental delivery and felt quite frustrated, even angry about it for a long time.

I had my second baby 7 weeks ago at home, a natural and quick birth with gas and air, much better than the first. Two of my "what if" scenarios happened - I had an immediate and severe PPH and a 3rd degree tear. The MWs were fantastic, I transferred by ambulance immediately (I live more than 30 minutes away) and I'm fine now. The MW's training was tested to the limit and they did exactly as I would have expected.

My community midwife was dreadfully upset on my behalf that I'd been so unlucky. I was able to tell her that actually, I felt less traumatised this time, despite all the drama.

I second Ina May Gaskins books particularly this one which has lots of lovely positive birth stories.

I also love this book by Sheila Kitzinger who is a very wise woman and top birth guru who has seven daughters.

After my first home birth my midwives ran a candlelit bath for me and my new dd. Within an hour I was 'phoning my friends and getting them to come and see us. It was an absolutely excellent start to motherhood which is possibly why I was pregnant again within six months.

After the birth of my fourth, the other three who had been asleep upstairs thoughout, came down my bed where I was sleeping with my new baby, stood in a line, and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. This will always be a very special memory as you can imagine.

I wish you all the best of luck with your decision. There are lots of lovely home birth threads on MN archives if you fancied some reading.

Spidermama, that's a lovely story

Strawberrykate, I just had a home birth 2 weeks ago after three hospital births and it was bliss! I had a water birth (my first - tried to have one with first baby but hospital had run out of hot water ...?). I ran a bath after my waters broke late at night, lay there contracting a bit for an hour while DH rang labour ward to ask for a midwife to come, moved to my bed when 3 midwives arrived 20 mins after DH phoned and contracted a lot more, climbed (staggered) into birth pool, three more contractions and bingo, baby out like a submarine at the bottom of the pool! First birth with no tearing, no stitches, took a bath again afterwards then climbed into bed with baby, DH and a cup of tea. The other three children joined us when they woke up in the morning. I would certainly recommend it.

Prior to the birth, the community team brought round a large 'birth box' which contained all sorts of equipment, plus they put various drugs in the fridge to control bleeding etc. The night they came for the labour, they also brought all the resuscitating stuff and they set up a mini labour suite at the side of my bedroom, in case of difficulty. They were also in contact with labour ward at the hospital (Chelsea & Westminster) regularly to let them know how progress was. In the worst case scenario, we live about 15 mins drive from ChelWest so by the time an ambulance had got me there, the theatre would have been set up etc. The midwives bring all the initial drugs they would use in hospital anyway and the ambulance carries life-support stuff for babies as well. Time-wise there's very little difference between the service you get at home and at hospital, which was my concern. Given how much more relaxing I found the experience at home, I'd think there are good grounds to see lower morbidity stats for home birth.

For me, this last birth has been quite transformative after three scary hospital births. If you were in the room here, I could look you in the eye and say quite truthfully I could do the whole thing all over again very happily.

I so wish I had thought of having a homebirth for my first instead of going to hospital and having the usual unnecessary downward spiral of intervention.

Statistics are very much on your side for natural birth with homebirth - above 60% likely for a first-time homebirther as apposed to about 20% likely for a first-time hospital birth. And for safety, as others have said, there are many studies suggesting it is at least as safe as hospital birth.

People who are negative about it are generally just ill-informed. To be sure, nasty things can and will happen at home that wouldn't have happened at hospital. But what people often don't see is that the reverse is also very true!

Your birth is more likely to be straightforward if you are relaxed and don't have to get up and go out into an alien environment.

Hi StrawberryKate

Your wavering is a good sign: you appreciate the depth of responsibility you are taking on here. I think Carmen's point here is spot on: we feel the risks of home birth much more acutely precisely because it is more under our control.

You know the statistics, obviously: the chances of a serious accident resulting in mortality are just the same at home as they are in hospital: rare. That doesn't mean they won't happen and that's why it's important for you to have an emergency back up, which you've thought about.

IMO, am equally difficult and important decision is deciding when you need to implement your backup plan. Emergencies don't always come with a big blue light flashing over them. For example, being clear how long you will let a labour go without progress before you think about transfer? Would you be happy to transfer if you get meconium? Or you have an unexpected degree of pain/exhaustion? I'm not trying to scare you, by the way (I imagine it might come across that way!) but particularly if you think a hospital environment is going to stress you I think it's quite important to consciously make the decision to transfer and 'hand over' responsibility to hospital staff, so you don't feel bulldozed and threatened.

And above all, if things don't go according to plan please don't feel you've 'failed'...remember you can do an immense amount to influence the outcome of your birth through preparation and attitude, but the last 20-30% is down to dumb luck and if that's not on your side on the day then the best thing you can do is concentrate on surviving with your morale intact .

Firstly lie if you have to and say you're having your baby in hospital so you don't have to explain yourself and/or listen to lots of horror stories.

I attempted a HB with my DD two years ago,I did transfer and eventually had an EMCS as my DD had turned transverse (v unfortunate) but I would still recommend it if you think you will be more comfortable.Loads of my friends have had HB with their 1st babies,think I'm the only one who ended up with a CS!

I would go and have a look around the labour ward just incase you do end up transferring for whatever reason,and then you know what to expect should your plans change.

Hi I'm planning a home birth also, but have been wavering recently due to the fact that (as I'm one BMI point over what is considered 'normal') I have to see a consultant to have the home birth 'signed off' (mw's words, also she said that the consultant I'm seeing is particularly harsh and against HB and will try to scare me off dissuade me from what I'd like)

I'm pretty much at the end of my tether, and am thinking of giving up just to save myself hassle and stress for the next ten weeks to the appointment.

Also, I too have had all sorts of comments from others (non-medical staff) from 'wow, you're brave' to 'if anything goes wrong, on your own head be it' which is horrible

New here, hope you don't mind me jumping in. I'm 29 +6 and plan a homebirth - I'm in Holland though and it is very common, the area I'm in just over half of all births last year were at home. I wavered a lot too until last week when we went to the hospital's open evening, I didn't like any of it; the atmosphere, the smell, the speed at which you get discharged, it went on. I really hope I can stick with my choice, there are various very clear rules about when you must go to hospital, but so far all indications are good. I will not have the options for pain relief, but gas & air and a TENS machine will be available.

I love the system here, it's very midwife and mother driven and the choices and support are great. Now all I need is someone to convince my rather freaked out mother that I'm not putting myself me or baby at risk.

It's strange I don't feel scared of transferring, I guess I see it as a necessity. It would also be something I agreed to and is within my control, if that makes sense. I would have made the decision that I would transfer if x,y or z happens and I would do anything to ensure the health of my child without question. I don't have any views about there being a right or wrong way to give birth, so I don't belive I'd feel like a failure even if I changed my mind at the 11th hour. I simply want to d wat is right for me and my family and I believe all women should be able to make this choice without judgement. My friend was desperate for an epidural as soon as possible and I can indentify with that need and understand her completely in choosing to go on a labour ward. IT's personal choice and comfort. The bit that scares me about hospital is decisions being made for the wrong reasons, more intervention that needed leading to problems and generally losing control to play my part at fitting in to the bigger picture of the labour ward. Friends and family expereinces have probably caused this fear when I think about it, two examples particularly spring to mind:

1. My mum had a c-section that was later deemed unnecessary. There was a shift change and it had been a long (but safe) labour. Mum is very resentful and feels she was denied the natural birth she wanted for the sake of keeping to a time span. When going through her notes afterwards with the consultant she was told he could not understand why they had performed a c-section. It seemed to be a time thing. She suffered complications for years which resulted in needing IVF also for a subsequent child.

1. My friend recently was during a healthy labour told it was policy she had to lie down and be monitored (on labour ward, midwife unti was full). Escalated to a nasty forceps situation when had begu very well with no issues, contractions slowed after being imobile.

I am aware that hospital births can be lovely, and many many women have them but my fear is quite big. I also know all the women in my (very large!) extended family have tended towards long labours (though generally without complications) and many have felt under pressure for interventions for not labouring to text-book times.

I think my main reason for posting is simply my need to have a balanced rational conversation on the topic. Although I feel secure with the idea I want to have the knowledge to support my natural gut feelings.

Thank to everyone for taking the time to share and reply to my questions.