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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

First talk with new midwife at 36 weeks - about baby? no, about parking!

12 replies

holytoast · 27/03/2010 09:09

Hi,
I have finally, just recently been booked in for my hb, which has taken a lot of chasing on my part and visiting the SOM amongst other things, partly due to my medical history, partly due to the fact that I have had three midwives so far in my pregnancy, and no-one seemed to communicate anything to each other.
So, the third calls up to arrange my hb talk at my home, and 37 week check..well, I phoned her, of course, because it seems nothing gets done unless you do it yourself around here.

She tells me I will have to wait in all day and she might not be able to come out - ok, fine, I understand, but not very positive...and this is just before the easter hols, which if I have to wait for another appointment will make me 38 weeks, when I say it would be cutting it a bit fine to be leaving it another whole week..'oh well, in my exerience, hb never happen as early as 37 weeks anyway... (you have control of my uterus do you? right, could you just tell it to book me in for a birth at exactly a week before my due date then please, would suit me better..)

Then she tells me 'oh we are very wary of doing hb in your road, because of the parking... (we live in a permit street, I have a permit which I already told her she can have when she comes for appointment)

when I then said well I rang the council, because another midwife mentioned getting a ticket in our street at a hb, they said that all they need to do is display a notice saying midwife on call or whatever, and if they get a ticket they can appeal, she then starts arguing with me that they still get tickets, no-one she knows ever got their money back, and that they cant 'be attending births when it might cost us £70 in fines' (its actually £35, but I am sure she thought £70 sounded better)the parking restrictions are only 9 - 5 weekdays only anyway, and I explained that I will park my car somewhere else, and one midwife can have our permit, whilst the other chances it - she just kept going on about it, and then started moaning that she will have to leave early, as she would be coming to me on a thursday 'and town will be busy'. really? do I care?

20 mins on the phone, never once said and how are you getting on, or how is your iron level (it was low last appointment, with a cover midwife, because she was on holiday..) or anything about the hb itself, just about bloody parking - oh, and trying to get me to change my appointment to my last day at work - I told her neither me or DH could do that - kept mentioning it anyay, even when I told her there was no way I could change, I teach, and its my last day of term.

Aargh! Is this normal? Should I have to worry about where my midwives are going to park when I am in labour? I can't believe they dont have an on call arrangement - its mad!

I get the feeling she has seen my notes, and isn't happy about me having a hb, and possibly is setting up excuses for not attending....

right, bit of a rant, but any advice? I so desperately want this hb to at least have a chance, and have been fighting for it for so long...for it to be jepordised because of parking...ffs!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nickschick · 27/03/2010 09:14

It wont help you,but Fil recalls the midwife who delivered dhs brother -riding her wobbly bike with all the parphernailia strapped to her- fag in mouth and a manky old dog with her too -all through the labour she kept calling down for fags and to see if her dog was alright.....fil had fed it all the stuff they had and was resorting to cornflakes when he heard the new baby cry he dashed upstairs to see the midwife slurping gin.

TRL · 27/03/2010 09:40

Doesn't sound normal to me. I just had a home birth last week and at no visit or the actual birth did any midwife discuss parking (our street's residents/pay & display from 9:30 - 4:30 weekdays).
Had I even thought about it, I'd have given them a visitor's permit - we can buy them in books of 10 from the council and you just fill them in for the day you're using it. They're much cheaper than feeding the metre hour by hour.
However Bubs arrived by night so it was never an issue.
I'd mention to her that the conversation made you anxious. The whole point of home birth to me is that it's a relaxing option, not stressful!

holytoast · 27/03/2010 11:21

thanks for the image of the midwife nickschick - brilliant!

And congrats TRL, I also assumed this should be the relaxing option - seems mad I would have to wrry about this, surely doctors on call etc don't get tickets?I hope your home birth went well and was 'relaxing' - our first baby so I am getting nervous now...

OP posts:
growingbump2 · 27/03/2010 11:35

I think she meant hb don't usually happen before 37 weeks as they are not allowed to deliver at home pre-term, but I guess you would have known that if she had shut up about parking long enough to tell you! Good luck, I hope all goes well

mitfordsisters · 28/03/2010 14:55

I think the logistics of getting to you, and parking are a legitimate concern for mw - for example, not the same but I have discussed with doula how to get to hospital, where to park etc, where to park near ours. Can you get a book of tickets like TRL says?

I understand there are more important things for you to discuss with mw, but I think you are being slightly unreasonable - maybe you are fretting about birth - if so, don't worry.

DelsParadiseWife · 28/03/2010 15:11

Parking isn't your concern. Sorry but it isn't. They need to figure it out if it is a problem. Have someone drop her off, park fruther away. Drop off equipment in advance and then walk - I don't know.

Now, obviously, if there is anything you can do to help, you should do. These people are coming to attend you and if you can make their lives easier then you should.

However, ultimately, them getting to work is their own responsibility, just like anyone else.

nellie12 · 28/03/2010 15:25

Am a bit at mw. Parking tickets are a concern but if she has your permit..

Anyway next time you talk to her tell her that she needs to get her manager to take it up with the council who can issue official nurse on call parking permits.
(thats if you can be bothered, as others say it shouldn't be your problem)

MumNWLondon · 28/03/2010 18:58

Sorry but this is not your problem. It's hers. I can't park near where I work, so I take the tube.

She can drop the stuff in in advance and get public transport, it just might take longer. If it's during the night she can drive as parking isn't a problem then.

Or as you say you can park elsewhere and she can have yours.

holytoast · 28/03/2010 20:53

Thanks for those confirming I am not being mad about this - I have phoned the council, who say they should be displaying something to say midwife attending birth or whatnot - I mean, district nurses and doctors do house calls dont they?

Just seems crazy that they dont have an arrangement with the council - and no, the parking permits don't work like that round here - so can't buy a book of them, wish we could its either visitors permit or residents - we use a vistors one for our car, which I am going to park at a friends once I am finished work - its only a little walk to hers, and I can hardly drive at the mo anyway, as turning in my seat is difficult. So that frees up a visitors permit for one midwife. It is just a 5min walk to a car park where she could park all day. I think if it were a doula, who I were paying for, that would be different - but its not, she works for the local health trust - I just can't beleive that they don't have some kind of system set up for this!

I don't think it should be the concern of the woman being attended in labour to sort out parking for a midwife..guessing I will have other things to worry about!

Mad thing is, I can get a 'tradesmans' permit for a builder for up to three weeks to work at our property - but would need the car reg for that and cant get that in advance. lol at the midwife being a tradesman though, wonder if I would have to take the council a quote for work being done?

Will just wait and see what she is like when (if) she comes to do the hb talk - if she keeps going on about it then will give her all the information I have and ask her politely not to bother me with the details, s I can focus on ctually giving birth...

OP posts:
oldenglishspangles · 28/03/2010 21:10

Is it too late to get another midwife? I rang up my original the boss of my original midwife (patronising and unsympathetic) and complained. Within a day I was allocated another midwife. Last thing you need is her worrying about her car whilst you are in labour.

MillyMollyMoo · 28/03/2010 23:29

Could you offer her a cheque for £35 and then if she gets a fine she can cash it, just to shut her up and concentrate on the matter in hand ?

smilehomebirth · 29/03/2010 10:27

MillyMM - that's more-or-less exactly what I was going to suggest! Just to shut the MW up about it of course - the chances of having to actually shell out the £35 sound very low.

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